If we don’t realize how lucky (fortunate) some of us are in relation to certain things in our lives, we may not be capable of comprehending how unfortunate some things are in other peoples lives.
This observation may not seem automatically self-reinforcing. The notion that so much of what is true and real and good being the function of a kind of benevolence, more than it is a kind of acquisition (or self-provision) is likely unpopular (especially to certain groups, as I suspect many would quickly dispute this claim). But, when we realize how much of what is good is just given to us (again, as opposed to something we provided for ourselves), then our capacity for understanding towards others changes.
There is a tendency among boot-strap advocates to believe (or, at least, suggest) that when others experience something unfortunate, it is primarily a consequence of their own poor choices. Cause-and-effect dynamics certainly do exist, but if we are more honest with ourselves, we must recognize how much pure generosity and goodness are involved in any prosperity we enjoy. When we allow ourselves to embrace this reality, our imagination for unfortunate experiences correspondingly expands, too. It often takes our own experience of such things to expand such imagination for others.
This really makes me wonder about what goes on internally when I make poor choices.
If I resort to the overall premise that what I have is primarily the result of what I have achieved, then all kinds of things are set in motion regarding how I view things. Have I really provided everything I have for myself, by myself? Wouldn't it follow, then, that everything unfortunate that happens to me is also a function of my own doing? I think we know intuitively that this is not true. Some of it is, but not all of it. And, yet, you might get the impression at times that we don't believe that, especially when we are projecting our views about others.
In contrast, if I acknowledge my agency is subordinate to an under-girding and over-arching sense of benevolence and goodness, then how does my disposition towards poor choices change? In the former logic, I don’t see how to avoid the conclusion that something is damning about those choices. In the latter model, however, it seems that my choices are more easily disarmed from such condemnation (including more freedom to move away from whatever is harmful about them). And, therefore, I am more enabled to move towards a recognition of and toward a simple re-joining of the more constructive work of personal growth, in the context of a more benevolent goodness about reality.
In other words, I have less reason to get stuck in self-pity and more to move forward with from the energy of gratitude.
And, if I can orient myself with that kind of self-understanding, I become more open to extending the same possibility to others so that they can also imagine themselves in less condemning ways.
Some of us are so fortunate — What If...we put our energy towards perpetuating that towards the less fortunate as much as possible?
Happiness is not made by what we own. It is what we share.
