Tuesday, September 30, 2014

DM: Why You Can’t Seem to Find Your Willpower

Citing study after study (perhaps too many for an otherwise enjoyable read) Baumeister and Tierney argue willpower actually comes from the muscle of the mind and that it can be strengthened.

Just like any muscle, the brain is strengthened with rest and sleep. After you work your brain, it needs rest in order to grow. Getting enough sleep is key, and taking breaks at regular intervals will help. Ever notice how you have more willpower in the morning than in the evenings, and after a meal as opposed to when you’re hungry?  More here....

-- Donald Miller

As Donald ends up noting, realizing that the brain is a muscle has helped me, too.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Your Yes

Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less.

-- Louie Giglio

Sunday, September 28, 2014

VSF Church Camping 2014

It's that time of year again!

Click here for more pics....

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Stop Drinking The Stuff

To the inevitable backdrop of John Philip Souza marches and Presidential photo-ops, Big Soda has announced that it will do some vague kind of something about the excesses they contribute to our intake of calories and sugars over something like ten years.  Big Soda might have said: “we know you are getting fat and sick, and feel we are implicated; but frankly, we don’t give a damn as long as you are foolish enough to keep buying what we sell.” Actually, that would have been refreshingly honest. But I guess we can be grateful just the same that they didn’t say that. I don’t think it would have earned a hug from Bill Clinton.

Do we really need soda companies to cut calories for us? The aphorism is: the best way to predict the future is to create it. It is NOT: the best way to predict the future is to hope that those currently profiting at the expense of your health will come around and create it for you.  After all, they not only concoct these potentially addictive formulas, but spend lavishly on highly influential marketing.

Why do we need Big Soda to reduce calories for us? It’s a bit brutal folks, I admit, but here goes: the fault is not in our sodas, but in ourselves -- that we allow ourselves to be underlings to the bullying of marketing aiming for profits at the expense of our health.  Continue here....

Stop drinking the stuff.

-- David L. Katz

Friday, September 26, 2014

The Fattest Country On Earth

A recent report cited that the single biggest reason families go bankrupt in the United States is because they get wiped out by medical bills. What a nightmare. God bless those families that have to spend all of their household savings, and more, to help a loved one.

But here’s something that few American citizens know: Just like those families, the U.S. could also go broke, because the country is being wiped out by medical costs. The nation’s healthcare costs have grown to $2.8 trillion, or nearly $9,000 per person, which is more than double what comparable countries pay per person. The U.S. ranks 25 globally in physical well-being, with 57% of our citizens struggling, 11% suffering, and only 32% thriving in this element. But here’s a truly alarming -- and revealing -- fact: The U.S. is the most obese country in the world.

Bluntly, our citizens are too fat, and the country’s economy and future are being smothered by our obesity.

We have to change what and how much we put in our mouths. We have to commit our entire country -- government, businesses, nonprofits, media, families, everyone -- to getting each and every one of our citizens to eat better.

-- Jim Clifton

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Why You Should Listen, Even If Others Don't

The odds are very good that the last person to whom you spoke barely heard anything you said. Don't take it personally -- most people just don't listen.

Most of us know it's bad to be so stuck in our own biases and beliefs that we block out half of what other people say... because we label their thoughts as "wrong" even before they stop talking.

When you actually listen to another, you quiet that voice in your head that almost never shuts up. Plus, you actually stop talking... and most of us would do well to talk a bit less, especially when we are trying to learn.  More here....

-- Bruce Kasanoff

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Cedarwood Road

A HEART THAT IS BROKEN
IS A HEART THAT IS OPEN

-- U2, "Cedarwood Road", from Songs of Innocence

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Fatal Flaw

We all seem to have a fatal flaw.  Or, perhaps better said, we all are fatally flawed.  One way or another, we are all in the same place; incapable of sustaining our lives, much less our success.

This is actually good news, if not only for the relief of it, then for the truth of it.  It should free us.  We can stop trying to overcome it by fixing it or compensating for it in ourselves, not to mention the way we often so easily settle for trying to keep track of the 'flaw' in others in order to simply make ourselves feel better.

Acknowledging this (continually) is pretty critical to what we are left with.  We are either done, dead, gone or we can give way to something miraculous that can rise from the ashes of this truth.  What preempts the futility of such eminent death?  Is it not...mercy?

Because we know the depth of our flawedness, we recognize the power of mercy to redeem the scene.  Because of our personal experience with this mercy, we have unique and powerful opportunity to extend it to others.  This is the beauty of the notion - we can offer mercy, because we have experienced mercy.  Our flaw has revealed in very personal terms the nature of this mercy.

We can actually rejoice in our flaw...because of the opportunity it creates for others, the opportunity it creates to help other people stop wasting their efforts to fix or compensate for their flaw.

Mercy triumphs...!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Teenagers -- Move From Telling to Asking

What I want for my teenagers is for them to have respect, take responsibility and be resilient.

The difficulty is how to teach teenagers resilience in the age of instant gratification. The answer is to let them fail; they need to learn to pick themselves up. Life is not perfect and too often as parents we try to keep our kids in a perfect world, like driving them to school just because it is raining. This can be so hard as a parent: we want everything to be just perfect for our precious progeny, but for them to be happy they need to know what it is to struggle and achieve.

We no longer would tell them what to do. We would ask them what they were doing. 

The shift to asking also helped us listen, and respect the choices they made. This was a massive step in how we parented, and we did not get it right all the time. 


The other thing we do is help our kids have downtime. Dinner time is about sharing food and sharing conversation...continue here.

-- Naomi Simson

Sunday, September 21, 2014

God is Better



I like the thoughts here, as they describe the fickleness of our relationship with God much of the time and, even more, what God  is offering us.

I'm not as excited about the notion of 'God is Better'. Perhaps it is because it feels too...market-based. Like, I like this product better than that one. That doesn't seem to work too well with something like God. Just follow Him, because He's your better option...for now (until another option emerges).

I do think God is better, but not in a marketing sense per se.

So how could one describe the spirit of what Chan is trying to say?

Saturday, September 20, 2014

The Time Has Come to Give Them...To Life

I wish I knew more about what is going on.  I just do...it's probably a parental instinct.

But life has organized it that, without a volunteering from them, I am not to know as much right now.  It is new.  It is difficult.  But, something also seems right about it.

When your kids are off to college and you wish you knew more details about their lives, but can't, it leaves you off at a door in a new neighborhood of something....  You have to walk through the door of a deeper kind of trust.  When you can't find the normal ways to know or control something, you have to give up trying the old ways and wait for something new.  And, you have to acknowledge that there is something purposeful about the not-knowing.

In this case, I have to give my kids...to life.  To give them in a new way to God...to take care of them...to lead them...to wait for them to learn to trust Him in deeper ways.  I can't know or nudge the way I want to any more; I can only entrust.  I have to entrust myself to Him, as much as I entrust them.

As I recently prayed for them early one morning about this, I believe God answered me this way, "The time has come...to believe in a new way that they are in my good hands.  It's now more about me and them, than you and them.  Trust me."

I felt kind of sad for the comfort of the familiarity of the old doors.  But, also relieved by the fresh paint on the doors of the new neighborhood -- they are even more deeply in the hands of a good God...less of me, more of Him.  They need to grow now in another yard, than my own.  It is good for them to see and grow in the sun out from under the shade of my branches.  They need to learn what they need to learn...and with some distance now, away from me.

I wonder what they will do without my presence, without my promptings.  I wonder how they will feel their way, how they will recognize that they are feeling for God.  I wonder how God will continue His saving work in them.

I want to know.  I will know, but probably more through the lens of the future than right now.  The time has come to give my kids...to life, both to what they pursue in it and to what it does to them.  And, though unsettling without direct knowledge of their well-being, it seems right.  Trusting God always is.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Resilience

Resilience is the ability of people, communities, and systems to maintain their core purpose and integrity among unforeseen shocks and surprises.

-- Andrew Zolli

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Courage Muscle

Courage is like a muscle; it has to be exercised daily. If you do, it will grow; ignored, it will atrophy.  Courage helps fuel grit; the two are symbiotic, feeding into and off of each other...read more.

-- Margaret Perlis

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Scares You Everyday

Do something that scares you everyday.

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Your Own Biases

If you want to bring out the talent in other people, you have to look past your own biases, otherwise you will only be helpful to people who are clones of yourself.

-- Bruce Kasanoff

Sure. Sure, no problem. I can do that.

But, wait, it isn't that easy...or, it wouldn't be that necessary to note something like the above.  We are biased, often deeply so.  We believe in the way we go about things or in the reactions out of which we often live.  We don't think others are right (or, as right), rather we believe that we are (largely) right.

To some extent, this is not all that surprising.  We have come to know, what we know, through the grid of our experiences; the grid that has taught us and shaped us...the grid that we, somewhat helplessly, have become invested in.

The problem is when we enforce (something that biases can easily do) what we have come to know upon others -- when we don't have interest in or respect for the grid that others have or are using.  Biases, to some degree, are amoral.  They just are what they are.  But, too often, we use our biases against others and, sadly, too often without knowing it.

We have to learn to see, to train ourselves to see, how others are made, how they have been shaped.  If we don't, we neglect something significant in them, if not worse.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Master Users

The best leaders...almost without exception and at every level, are master users of stories.

-- Tom Peters

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Incurably Agnostic

We should all be incurably agnostic if God had not revealed himself.

-- David Watson

This is not as tidy as it might sound, at first glance.  It is, in fact, both brutal and undoingly a basis for all gratitude.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Friday, September 12, 2014

Relieves Responsibility

A little known saying goes: “The worst thing you can do for someone carrying a burden is to take that burden away.” That is a management sin: it makes things easier for the one carrying the burden for a short while, but it also relieves him of his responsibility for the burden. And that’s not a good thing in the long run.

-- Klaus Schuster

Context is important, isn't it?  Things like 'statements' aren't universally true.  Words are simply limited in their application.

For example, the above statement strikes me as quite untrue, in certain contexts (like this one).  But, in others, I would say the above has a lot of truth in it.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Nothing Converts

Nothing converts cynics like success.

-- Stephen Covey

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Caffeine: The Silent Killer of Success

90% of top performers are high in emotional intelligence. These individuals are skilled at managing their emotions (even in times of high stress) in order to remain calm and in control.

Caffeine disrupts the quality of your sleep by reducing rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the deep sleep when your body recuperates and processes emotions. When caffeine disrupts your sleep, you wake up the next day with an emotional handicap. You’re naturally going to be inclined to grab a cup of coffee or an energy drink to try to make yourself feel better.

When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams), so that you wake up alert and clear-headed. Your self-control, focus, memory, and information processing speed are all reduced when you don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep.

Irritability and anxiety are the most commonly seen emotional effects of caffeine, but caffeine enables all of your emotions to take charge. Coming off caffeine reduces your cognitive performance and has a negative impact on your mood.  Continue reading here....

-- Travis Bradberry

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Problems So Interesting

Management is the art of making problems so interesting that everyone wants to get to work and deal with them.

-- Paul Hawken

Monday, September 08, 2014

Exposure to Challenge

Becoming a capable leader is an evolution — a co-mingling of training, coaching, and exposure to the types of challenge that bring both insight and growth.

-- Marla Gottschalk

Any one of these alone, is not enough. My sense is that exposure to challenge is critical, especially at the right time and in the right context.  Nothing else provides the opportunity to solidify and grow quite like challenge.

Sunday, September 07, 2014

Wake People Up

Many do not recognize the fact as they ought, that Satan has got men fast asleep in sin and that it is his great device to keep them so. He does not care what we do if he can do that. We may sing songs about the sweet by and by, preach sermons and say prayers until doomsday, and he will never concern himself about us, if we don't wake anybody up. But if we awake the sleeping sinner he will gnash on us with his teeth. This is our work - to wake people up.

-- Catherine Booth

And, perhaps, we should start by asking where we, ourselves, are fast asleep...for it is where we have been awakened that we are likely most sensitive and, therefore, most able to extend the mercy needed to awaken others.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

Why Wait Until Marriage? -- What No One Tells You & What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

Your skin is the outer layer of your soul.

The union of two bodies is nothing less than the union of two souls.  Physical oneness is a holy God-created ceremony to express nothing less than a soul oneness.

When someone isn’t willing or ready for spiritual oneness, emotional oneness, legal oneness, financial oneness — why let them steal physical and soul oneness from you?

Your naked body deserves the honor of being shared only with someone who is covenanted to never stop loving your naked soul.

-- Ann Voskamp

A very good read...continue here.

Friday, September 05, 2014

The Questions We Ask



I like this line, near the end:

"Adventure is curiosity, the willingness to embrace uncertainty."

Thursday, September 04, 2014

Is Conspiring

Nearly everything around you is conspiring to make you go faster; our culture is shifting towards always-on, always-connected. This is okay if you remain accurate, calm and focused. But if you go faster simply for the sake of going faster, you won't end up as successful as my friend. Instead, you'll someday regret that you never learned to slow down.  

-- Bruce Kasanoff

Continue reading here....

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

Come To Me

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

-- Matthew 11:28

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Emotionally Exhausted

A day off work yesterday hardly seemed like rest.  I had been wrestling internally most of the day trying to identify the root of something growing on and into me over the last few months.  The word I would use to describe what I am feeling is...exhaustion.  Exhaustion of an emotional kind.

Over the last few years, physical exhaustion has been a way of re-energizing me emotionally.  But a sequence of things recently has left me unable to recover in either way.

New challenges at work, stretching in relationships, dealing with more adult matters of the heart with my kids; all have climbed up over me in a way that has ended feeling...suffocating.  And, I am seeing something of a related pattern in my thinking -- that it feels like a lot is riding on me, what I do, how I respond, how I lead.  Yesterday helped me realize again that I am not responsible for all of these outcomes.  I have a growing sense that I need to rediscover what it means to cast my cares upon the Lord and to shun my tendency to end up with too much dependence on myself.

Monday, September 01, 2014