Saturday, October 31, 2015
Friday, October 30, 2015
Listen to Me
My 'Friday Poem' selection for the week, entitled "Listen to Me":
Listen to me, please, I need to talk to you;
Give me only a few minutes;
Accept what I experience, what I feel,
Without reserve, without judgement.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not bombard me with questions, advice and opinions;
Do not feel obliged to settle my difficulties,
Could it be that you lack confidence in my competence?
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not try to entertain or amuse me,
It would make me think you fail to understand the importance
Of what I am going through.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not feel it your duty to approve, if I need to tell my story
It is simply to be set free.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not interpret and try not to analyse;
I would feel misunderstood and manipulated,
And could no longer tell you anything.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not interrupt me to question me;
Do not attempt to force me to reveal what is hidden,
I know how far I can and will go.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Respect the silences which help me to make progress;
Be very careful not to break them;
It is very often through them that things are clarified.
So now that you have let me have my say,
I beg you, now you may speak;
Attentive and at your disposal,
I, in my turn, will listen to you.
-- Author Unknown
Listen to me, please, I need to talk to you;
Give me only a few minutes;
Accept what I experience, what I feel,
Without reserve, without judgement.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not bombard me with questions, advice and opinions;
Do not feel obliged to settle my difficulties,
Could it be that you lack confidence in my competence?
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not try to entertain or amuse me,
It would make me think you fail to understand the importance
Of what I am going through.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not feel it your duty to approve, if I need to tell my story
It is simply to be set free.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not interpret and try not to analyse;
I would feel misunderstood and manipulated,
And could no longer tell you anything.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Do not interrupt me to question me;
Do not attempt to force me to reveal what is hidden,
I know how far I can and will go.
Listen to me, please, I need to talk;
Respect the silences which help me to make progress;
Be very careful not to break them;
It is very often through them that things are clarified.
So now that you have let me have my say,
I beg you, now you may speak;
Attentive and at your disposal,
I, in my turn, will listen to you.
-- Author Unknown
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Space Readies Us
Rushing makes spaces small. Being still in a space can reveal to us just how big it is. How could we have scurried right by it, without noticing? I have not only done that emotionally at times, but also physically...speeding down some oft-driven road, I haven't seen what you see when you just walk by it. Matters of the heart may work in similar ways.
Recognizing this, a thought has dawned on me. What if something isn't so much getting away from me as much as the possibility that something is coming to me? What if, in fact, it has been waiting for me? To wait for it?
'Getting away' often feels like losing something. But, if that is not really what is happening, then it would seem possible that something else is being readied, to be gained, rather than lost. I am often stuck in the loop of my own expectations. And, as a result, I may not recognize that something is about to be given. Perhaps, I just need to be readied to receive it. Not recognizing this could end up with me missing it altogether.
I admit I am a bit apprehensive, but also a bit fuller of wonder, too...what is coming? Will I wait for it...or rush on?
Recognizing this, a thought has dawned on me. What if something isn't so much getting away from me as much as the possibility that something is coming to me? What if, in fact, it has been waiting for me? To wait for it?
'Getting away' often feels like losing something. But, if that is not really what is happening, then it would seem possible that something else is being readied, to be gained, rather than lost. I am often stuck in the loop of my own expectations. And, as a result, I may not recognize that something is about to be given. Perhaps, I just need to be readied to receive it. Not recognizing this could end up with me missing it altogether.
I admit I am a bit apprehensive, but also a bit fuller of wonder, too...what is coming? Will I wait for it...or rush on?
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Getting Away From You
Do you ever feel like something is getting away from you? Even when you feel preoccupied with finding it?
I feel like this is happening to me. But, I don't know what it is...that is getting away. But, it feels like something is.
And, it appears that the only way to find it, is to stop being so busy about doing so. Running-busy inescapably seems to becomes a circle, rather than a straight line to anywhere. I have to stop trying so hard and slow up enough to find something in the space I occupy, rather than the one I strive to get to. It is around me, but I am rushing past it again and again. I need to wait in a space for it to come, rather than scramble-searching for it...perhaps the wind from my own scurry pushes it away.
I have to stop, in order for what I am looking for to be...with me.
I feel like this is happening to me. But, I don't know what it is...that is getting away. But, it feels like something is.
And, it appears that the only way to find it, is to stop being so busy about doing so. Running-busy inescapably seems to becomes a circle, rather than a straight line to anywhere. I have to stop trying so hard and slow up enough to find something in the space I occupy, rather than the one I strive to get to. It is around me, but I am rushing past it again and again. I need to wait in a space for it to come, rather than scramble-searching for it...perhaps the wind from my own scurry pushes it away.
I have to stop, in order for what I am looking for to be...with me.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Look For The Fear
Fear will push you to avert your eyes.
Fear will make you think you have nothing to say.
It will create a buzz that makes it impossible to meditate...
or it will create a fog that makes it so you can do nothing but meditate.
Fear seduces us into losing our temper.
and fear belittles us into accepting unfairness.
Fear doesn't like strangers, people who don't look or act like us, and most of all, the unknown.
It causes us to carelessly make typos, or obsessively look for them.
Fear pushes us to fit in, so we won't be noticed, but it also pushes us to rebel and to not be trustworthy, so we won't be on the hook to produce.
It is subtle enough to trick us into thinking it isn't pulling the strings, that it doesn't exist, that it's not the cause of, "I don't feel like it."
When in doubt, look for the fear.
-- Seth Godin
Fear will make you think you have nothing to say.
It will create a buzz that makes it impossible to meditate...
or it will create a fog that makes it so you can do nothing but meditate.
Fear seduces us into losing our temper.
and fear belittles us into accepting unfairness.
Fear doesn't like strangers, people who don't look or act like us, and most of all, the unknown.
It causes us to carelessly make typos, or obsessively look for them.
Fear pushes us to fit in, so we won't be noticed, but it also pushes us to rebel and to not be trustworthy, so we won't be on the hook to produce.
It is subtle enough to trick us into thinking it isn't pulling the strings, that it doesn't exist, that it's not the cause of, "I don't feel like it."
When in doubt, look for the fear.
-- Seth Godin
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Human Experience
We are not human beings having a human experience, we are spiritual beings, having a human experience.
-- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
-- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Friday, October 23, 2015
TODAY
My 'Friday Poem' selection for the week, entitled "TODAY":
Today I’m flying low and I’m
not saying a word.
I’m letting all the voodoos of ambition sleep.
The world goes on as it must.
the bees in the garden rumbling a little,
the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten.
And so forth.
But I’m taking the day off.
Quiet as a feather.
I hardly move though really I’m traveling
a terrific distance.
Stillness. One of the doors
into the temple.
-- Mary Oliver
Today I’m flying low and I’m
not saying a word.
I’m letting all the voodoos of ambition sleep.
The world goes on as it must.
the bees in the garden rumbling a little,
the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten.
And so forth.
But I’m taking the day off.
Quiet as a feather.
I hardly move though really I’m traveling
a terrific distance.
Stillness. One of the doors
into the temple.
-- Mary Oliver
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Inner Signals
Emotional self-awareness is a leadership competency that shows up in model after model. These leaders are attuned to their inner signals, recognizing how their feelings affect them and their job performance. They integrate their guiding values into their work. They can deduce the best course of action. They see the big picture and they’re genuine.
Studies also suggest that your experiences with your parents can generate the kind of reflective competencies upon which self-awareness depends.
Keep in mind that self-awareness isn’t just navel-gazing. It’s the presence of mind to actually be flexible in how you respond. It allows you to be centered, and know what your body is telling you.
The physiological state of your whole body can drastically affect how you respond in a given situation if you don’t pay attention to it. (For example, a study in 2011 indicated that judges hand down stricter sentences when they’re hungry.)
This is also true when we’re threatened or challenged at work: The brain quickly judges people who are not like us in one certain way, and those like us in another way. If you’re not aware of that as a leader of an organization, you may find yourself making all sorts of gut-based decisions that require more reflection.
-- Daniel Goleman
Studies also suggest that your experiences with your parents can generate the kind of reflective competencies upon which self-awareness depends.
Keep in mind that self-awareness isn’t just navel-gazing. It’s the presence of mind to actually be flexible in how you respond. It allows you to be centered, and know what your body is telling you.
The physiological state of your whole body can drastically affect how you respond in a given situation if you don’t pay attention to it. (For example, a study in 2011 indicated that judges hand down stricter sentences when they’re hungry.)
This is also true when we’re threatened or challenged at work: The brain quickly judges people who are not like us in one certain way, and those like us in another way. If you’re not aware of that as a leader of an organization, you may find yourself making all sorts of gut-based decisions that require more reflection.
-- Daniel Goleman
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Monday, October 19, 2015
Disappointment
Disappointment. It rings like a smallish word; easily dismissed. We don't appreciate its inconvenience. We move on. We tell others to do the same.
Truth is, I was pretty disappointed this last Saturday when Michigan lost their football game to Michigan State on the last play. But, I wouldn't acknowledge it that way initially. I fumbled around for at least two other options; one, was to look for a silver-lining. The second was to over-state something, to choose victimization (by the refs earlier in the game), to be angry. Lot's of things other than just simple disappointment.
I don't like disappointment. It's irritating. I don't like to disappoint others. It risks something in me.
It took a good run yesterday to sort out the things above and to realize I was just disappointed. I had wanted something to happen. I looked it was going to happen. But, it didn't. I was disappointed, but my habitual response wanted to make it something else.
...and, of course, the deeper reality is that we live with disappointment about things that are much more significant than the outcomes of football games.
Being disappointed, in simple ways though, allows something else to occur. Something good, in fact. Disappointment is like space. I need to be in a space...unfilled, uncluttered by a bunch of other stuff to see other things that are true. To see that there is more going than just what I want to happen. More going on, that is more important. More about myself that I need to see. More in someone else that I need to embrace.
Disappointment gives us this opportunity -- where would we be without it? Where are we without it? ...too quickly somewhere else, too numb a place, or worse, too often in too violent a place. There is more and disappointment can give it to us, can bring us to space in our life that allows us that more. Disappointment is not small after-all; it shouldn't be dismissed...it is, in fact, a healthy more.
I am disappointed. There, I said it. And, thank God for the gift it is.
Truth is, I was pretty disappointed this last Saturday when Michigan lost their football game to Michigan State on the last play. But, I wouldn't acknowledge it that way initially. I fumbled around for at least two other options; one, was to look for a silver-lining. The second was to over-state something, to choose victimization (by the refs earlier in the game), to be angry. Lot's of things other than just simple disappointment.
I don't like disappointment. It's irritating. I don't like to disappoint others. It risks something in me.
It took a good run yesterday to sort out the things above and to realize I was just disappointed. I had wanted something to happen. I looked it was going to happen. But, it didn't. I was disappointed, but my habitual response wanted to make it something else.
...and, of course, the deeper reality is that we live with disappointment about things that are much more significant than the outcomes of football games.
Being disappointed, in simple ways though, allows something else to occur. Something good, in fact. Disappointment is like space. I need to be in a space...unfilled, uncluttered by a bunch of other stuff to see other things that are true. To see that there is more going than just what I want to happen. More going on, that is more important. More about myself that I need to see. More in someone else that I need to embrace.
Disappointment gives us this opportunity -- where would we be without it? Where are we without it? ...too quickly somewhere else, too numb a place, or worse, too often in too violent a place. There is more and disappointment can give it to us, can bring us to space in our life that allows us that more. Disappointment is not small after-all; it shouldn't be dismissed...it is, in fact, a healthy more.
I am disappointed. There, I said it. And, thank God for the gift it is.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Friday, October 16, 2015
October
The season of Fall has long had a special grip on me. Something exhaling, because it is over. Something coming, that isn't yet. I have often wondered if this time taps into something inherent within me or is simply something of nostalgia. Either way, the signals of the transition are resplendent -- color, coolness, and crunch. I am alive.
My 'Friday Poem' selection for the week, entitled "October":
Bending above the spicy woods which blaze,
Arch skies so blue they flash, and hold the sun
Immeasurably far; the waters run
Too slow, so freighted are the river-ways
With gold of elms and birches from the maze
Of forests. Chestnuts, clicking one by one,
Escape from satin burs; her fringes done,
The gentian spreads them out in sunny days,
And, like late revelers at dawn, the chance
Of one sweet, mad, last hour, all things assail,
And conquering, flush and spin; while, to enhance
The spell, by sunset door, wrapped in a veil
Of red and purple mists, the summer, pale,
Steals back alone for one more song and dance.
-- Helen Hunt Jackson
My 'Friday Poem' selection for the week, entitled "October":
Bending above the spicy woods which blaze,
Arch skies so blue they flash, and hold the sun
Immeasurably far; the waters run
Too slow, so freighted are the river-ways
With gold of elms and birches from the maze
Of forests. Chestnuts, clicking one by one,
Escape from satin burs; her fringes done,
The gentian spreads them out in sunny days,
And, like late revelers at dawn, the chance
Of one sweet, mad, last hour, all things assail,
And conquering, flush and spin; while, to enhance
The spell, by sunset door, wrapped in a veil
Of red and purple mists, the summer, pale,
Steals back alone for one more song and dance.
-- Helen Hunt Jackson
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Seeds, Mistakes, Sleep, and Now
I like these 'habit' recommendations:
Plant seeds:
Many people have ONE GOAL in life. And they aim their lives for that one goal. Good luck with that.
The real key is to plant many seeds. 1% of the seeds planted will turn into 50% of the flowers.
That's Garden Math.
What are some seeds?
Send a thank you letter. Send an intro letter. Send ideas to people. Exercise. Eat well. Surprise your spouse. Make a website. Come up with an idea. Write an article. Read a book. Think of 100 more seeds.
Every day plant some seeds.
Mistakes:
I was teaching my daughter to serve harder. She had a good consistent serve. She never missed. But it was too soft. Easy to return.
So I said, "hit it so hard you have to grunt".
She started missing. She was getting depressed. Every shot came in about 6 inches to the left of the box.
But then she adjusted. The shots started to hit in the box. And they were harder.
I asked her, "what was going on in your head?"
She said, "I saw I was hitting too much to the left so I moved it over."
If she kept hitting her safe easy shot, she never would have improved.
Only mistakes made her improve. ONLY MISTAKES.
Sleep:
Your brain is most active 2-5 hours after you wake up. Do your productive passion work then.
Stay away from people who claim they only need 3-5 hours a sleep a night. They are evil.
Right Now:
Every time I've had a problem in the future, it never came true.
Every time I've had a regret in the past, the regret kept me glued to the mud.
Right now you are dealt cards. No other hand before or after will help you right now.
So this is the only moment to focus on. Right now is best predictor of Right Life.
-- James Altucher
...more here.
Plant seeds:
Many people have ONE GOAL in life. And they aim their lives for that one goal. Good luck with that.
The real key is to plant many seeds. 1% of the seeds planted will turn into 50% of the flowers.
That's Garden Math.
What are some seeds?
Send a thank you letter. Send an intro letter. Send ideas to people. Exercise. Eat well. Surprise your spouse. Make a website. Come up with an idea. Write an article. Read a book. Think of 100 more seeds.
Every day plant some seeds.
Mistakes:
I was teaching my daughter to serve harder. She had a good consistent serve. She never missed. But it was too soft. Easy to return.
So I said, "hit it so hard you have to grunt".
She started missing. She was getting depressed. Every shot came in about 6 inches to the left of the box.
But then she adjusted. The shots started to hit in the box. And they were harder.
I asked her, "what was going on in your head?"
She said, "I saw I was hitting too much to the left so I moved it over."
If she kept hitting her safe easy shot, she never would have improved.
Only mistakes made her improve. ONLY MISTAKES.
Sleep:
Your brain is most active 2-5 hours after you wake up. Do your productive passion work then.
Stay away from people who claim they only need 3-5 hours a sleep a night. They are evil.
Right Now:
Every time I've had a problem in the future, it never came true.
Every time I've had a regret in the past, the regret kept me glued to the mud.
Right now you are dealt cards. No other hand before or after will help you right now.
So this is the only moment to focus on. Right now is best predictor of Right Life.
-- James Altucher
...more here.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Dreams and Fears
Sooner or later, important action taken comes down to this.
Fear: Of being ashamed, feeling stupid, being rejected, being left out, getting hurt, being embarrassed, left alone, dying.
Dreams: Of being seen, being needed, becoming independent, relieving anxiety, becoming powerful, making someone proud, fitting in, seen as special, mattering, taken care of, loved.
Marketers put many layers atop these basic needs (horsepower, processor speed, features, pricing, testimonials, guarantees, and more) but it all comes down to dreams and fears.
-- Seth Godin
Fear: Of being ashamed, feeling stupid, being rejected, being left out, getting hurt, being embarrassed, left alone, dying.
Dreams: Of being seen, being needed, becoming independent, relieving anxiety, becoming powerful, making someone proud, fitting in, seen as special, mattering, taken care of, loved.
Marketers put many layers atop these basic needs (horsepower, processor speed, features, pricing, testimonials, guarantees, and more) but it all comes down to dreams and fears.
-- Seth Godin
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Failure Is
Failure is information -- we label it failure, but it’s more like, 'This didn’t work, and I’m a problem solver, so I’ll try something else.'
-- Carol Dweck
We put too much stock in concepts related to success and failure -- achieving those like results, and too quickly. Those are, perhaps at best, partial and retroactive descriptions of something...not tests along the way.
We need more tenacity, more grit, because there is more to discover than relatively arbitrary definitions of success or failure...and the unfortunate, preemptive conclusions they offer us.
-- Carol Dweck
We put too much stock in concepts related to success and failure -- achieving those like results, and too quickly. Those are, perhaps at best, partial and retroactive descriptions of something...not tests along the way.
We need more tenacity, more grit, because there is more to discover than relatively arbitrary definitions of success or failure...and the unfortunate, preemptive conclusions they offer us.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Would I Feel Better?
Would I feel better?
Would I feel better if my team had won?
Would I feel better if I knew
the ones I love are really ok, are better than ok?
Would I feel better if I knew
answers to questions which move between niggling and haunting me?
...if I knew I could make a difference or see how?
Would I feel better if...?
Perhaps I should just acknowledge
that I don't feel better today.
And, with patience, not probe too deeply for a why.
Would I feel better if my team had won?
Would I feel better if I knew
the ones I love are really ok, are better than ok?
Would I feel better if I knew
answers to questions which move between niggling and haunting me?
...if I knew I could make a difference or see how?
Would I feel better if...?
Perhaps I should just acknowledge
that I don't feel better today.
And, with patience, not probe too deeply for a why.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
When HotChurch Came to Town
In my jealousy and self-righteous anger toward HotChurch's pastor, I now see that I was becoming like him. I was driven, obsessed not with God, but against HotChurch. It was a hard truth to face. Sifting can reveal what's inside.
Yes, know God. And keep on, Friend, even with dust in your teeth. Continue here....
-- Keith Mannes
Yes, know God. And keep on, Friend, even with dust in your teeth. Continue here....
-- Keith Mannes
Saturday, October 10, 2015
What Julia Roberts Can Teach Us About Creation
I've often thought that nature is rather indifferent...to us. It will do what it does regardless of our response to it, regardless of our even noticing it. It seems to live, have purpose for something else, besides human approval. A friend and I talked about this years ago; he even wrote a poem about this...which I now want to find again.
Continue the quote above from in this article by Robert Barron here....
Friday, October 09, 2015
Geode
My Friday Poem selection for the week, entitled "Geode":
The plagues we wished upon ourselves
With aloe juice and cayenne
The planets we strained to reach
That was how being young tasted
Each of us a geode looking to be cracked open
And to crack each other open
Over and over
I am no longer young except to those who are older
In the way that youth moves along
The conveyor belt
At a consistent distance
I drink water now
I try to be gentle
The years crack you open enough
-- Alicia Jo Rabins
The plagues we wished upon ourselves
With aloe juice and cayenne
The planets we strained to reach
That was how being young tasted
Each of us a geode looking to be cracked open
And to crack each other open
Over and over
I am no longer young except to those who are older
In the way that youth moves along
The conveyor belt
At a consistent distance
I drink water now
I try to be gentle
The years crack you open enough
-- Alicia Jo Rabins
Thursday, October 08, 2015
Wednesday, October 07, 2015
Tuesday, October 06, 2015
The More Human He Is
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness."
Being human always points, and is directed, to something or someone, other than oneself -- be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself, by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love, the more human he is. More here....
-- Viktor E. Frankl
Monday, October 05, 2015
Everything I Learned About Leadership Was Wrong
Everything I learned about parenting is leadership and everything I learned about leadership was wrong.
-- Bob Chapman
-- Bob Chapman
Sunday, October 04, 2015
Vast Strength
So it's searchable:
Be strengthened by the Lord
and his vast strength.
-- Ephesians 6:10
Saturday, October 03, 2015
Forgiveness and Faith
What if everything in life really did happen for a reason? What if everything really did have a purpose and it always served us in the long run? What if life was always happening FOR us, not TO us? What if even the pain and problems had a higher purpose in the growth and evolution of our souls?
If you were to look back on your life, I would be willing to bet you’ve had some painful experiences that you would never want to experience again, AND yet, some of those horrible past experiences – you may already have realized that while you would never want to experience them again, thank God you did because it caused you to develop a depth of insight or caring, or a level of inner strength that to this day shapes who you are and the greatness of what you can give to others.
Our power is in our problems as they unleash our resourcefulness and cause us to grow in order to respond consciously and compassionately to them. Radical forgiveness and faith in guidance or a higher meaning in our experience is the answer.
-- Tony Robbins
If you were to look back on your life, I would be willing to bet you’ve had some painful experiences that you would never want to experience again, AND yet, some of those horrible past experiences – you may already have realized that while you would never want to experience them again, thank God you did because it caused you to develop a depth of insight or caring, or a level of inner strength that to this day shapes who you are and the greatness of what you can give to others.
Our power is in our problems as they unleash our resourcefulness and cause us to grow in order to respond consciously and compassionately to them. Radical forgiveness and faith in guidance or a higher meaning in our experience is the answer.
-- Tony Robbins
Friday, October 02, 2015
Dear Millennium, Inadequate Witness
To end the week, a poem entitled "Dear Millennium, Inadequate Witness":
Say we no longer bear witness to a body-politic of trauma
after revolution
by anesthesia or erasure. Say we cover our eyes
to crossed olive-wood beams on a hill. Modes of witness
expose our inadequacy, the human. Forgetting
is a sign—yes, a thing once existed. Say we are unworthy
of witness, internal or external—
our damaged wisdom, for instance,
our diminished capacity for empathy
and heightened apathy to torture
mingled with doves
of unfettered desire
or an eclipsed divine.
-- Karen An-hwei Lee
Say we no longer bear witness to a body-politic of trauma
after revolution
by anesthesia or erasure. Say we cover our eyes
to crossed olive-wood beams on a hill. Modes of witness
expose our inadequacy, the human. Forgetting
is a sign—yes, a thing once existed. Say we are unworthy
of witness, internal or external—
our damaged wisdom, for instance,
our diminished capacity for empathy
and heightened apathy to torture
mingled with doves
of unfettered desire
or an eclipsed divine.
-- Karen An-hwei Lee
Thursday, October 01, 2015
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