Checking Their Phone

Emotional Commitment

Inspiration begins with emotional commitment.

You are using Emotional Intelligence if you fulfill three simple rules:

- Be in touch with your own feelings
- Be in touch with others’ feelings.
- Manage in a way that is never threatening, but is inspired and energizing.

In order to bond effectively with others, you must be emotionally free yourself. To be emotional free means, first of all, to be free of guilt, resentment, grievances, anger, and aggression. You aren’t asked to be perfect, only to be clear about your own underlying feelings. We all have negative emotions, but a leader deals with them effectively, for the good of the group. He or she doesn’t give mixed signals or indulge in outbursts and moods. Only in clarity can you trust yourself emotionally and have others trust you.  ...continue here.

-- Deepak Chopra

UM vs PU

...had the pleasure of being at this game...wow!  What a finish!

Communication

Communication is connection and inspiration.

-- Gary Burnison

Alone or Together

Prayer - A Healing Water

Prayer is as a healing water which causes the roots of our good desires to send forth fresh shoots, which washes away the soul's imperfections, and allays the thirst of passion.

-- St. Francis de Sales

28

To me, this song is a beautiful version of this piece by Ann Voskamp, which pretty much captures what I feel about today...our 28th wedding anniversary:

ALL OVER OHIO

Well the rain it has been falling
Like it wants to drown us all
And the trees are gently swaying
Like they’re thinkin’ ‘bout the fall
I still get shivers when I hear
You singin’ down the hall
I’m gonna kiss you all over Ohio

And the starlings they were flying
Earlier today
Doing their maneuvers
Clouds of feathers on display
Makes me wanna kneel in prayer but
I’ve forgotten what to say
I’ll just name all the birds in Ohio

Now the reason I am writing
Is to tell you ‘bout the flood
Ahh, the river is so beautiful
But it leaves a load of mud
All I have now are these dirty songs
I guess they’re in my blood
They make me wander so far from Ohio

(Yeah) It’s a silly undertaking
To fly halfway ‘round the earth
With an imaginary womb of songs
Intent on giving birth
I gave all that I had to give
I’m not sure what it’s worth
Scatter the ashes right here in Ohio

[Chorus]
All I wanna be is a thousand black birds
Bursting from a tree into the blue
Love – let it be not just a feeling
But the broken beauty
Of what we choose to do

And the halleujah chorus
Used to make my Daddy cry
I still wonder ‘bout the ruckus
Angels make up there on high
In the meanwhile there are measures
We can take to get us by
Lay me down next to you in Ohio

But my expectations stand still
Like beggars at the door
I’m flat broke from the dues
I’ve paid them all before
Gonna let the Cuyahoga
Wash me up on burning shores
Shipwrecked with you in Ohio
[Chorus]

I have seen the slow corruption
Of the best ideas of Christ
In the pulpits of our nation
Gospel turned into white lies
If you preach a subtle hatred -
The bible as your alibi
Goddam you right here in Ohio

But my shameless hallucination:
He’s still knockin’ at my door
And I know how this one’s gonna end
He’s gotten in before
I’ve run as fast as I can run
I’ve had to ask, What for?
He haunts me all over Ohio
[Chorus]

Well the rain it has been falling
Like it wants to drown us all
And the trees are gently swaying
Like they’re thinkin’ ‘bout the fall
I still get shivers when I hear
You singin’ down the hall
I’m gonna kiss you all over Ohio

-- OtR, from Meet Me At the Edge of the World

'In love' at the beginning; now more in 'love' (the real kind) than ever before . . . living through this broken life . . . together.  So grateful for Tami, my wife of beauty now of 28 years.

My Beautiful Woman

Must see (helps to watch at a size you can read the sub-titles):



I love the line: "I would rather them talk about me, than talk about June."

Time Bomb

Consumerism is a ticking time bomb; "work hard and play hard" leads to exhaustion and eventual physical debility. "Looking out for number one" deadens the soul.

-- Deepak Chopra

I like a lot of what this guy says; in part, because he identifies many things that seem very true to me about internal health...from a different tradition of understanding than I experience.

Taking Things Apart

Knowledge comes by taking things apart: analysis. But wisdom comes by putting things together.

-- John A. Morrison

Don't Want to Come to Work

People don’t want to come to work if they don’t know what they’re working towards, or if they can sense that their leaders don’t either. If you can no longer express your organization’s vision in a simple, compelling way, you’ve gotten off track. That means it’s time to refocus – not just the vision, but the organization itself.

-- Joel Peterson

There is something pretty real and practical about this observation. It seems to apply to almost any relationship.

Useless

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

-- Peter Drucker

CT: Symbolic Hedge

Sociologist Philip Rieff and philosopher Allan Bloom both described a 'low symbolic hedge'.  I encountered this idea in The Shattered Lantern, a book by Catholic writer Ronald Rolheiser. If many Westerners have trouble perceiving God's presence in daily life, then perhaps, says Rolheiser, the problem is that our culture lacks potent symbols.€

The ability to use symbols distinguishes humans from other animals. Consider eating. All animals use food for sustenance and pleasure. But humans can employ candlelight, china, toasts, and blessings to imbue a meal with significance. Through symbols, eating can embody romance, friendship, honor, or celebration.

I must confess: I usually have neither the time nor the inclination to bother with such symbols. When, for instance, I eat on the run, my symbolic hedge is low; food is just fuel, and the day is just a succession of hours to manage or endure.

But Rolheiser warns that a low symbolic hedge drains the meaning out of experience. To illustrate, he imagines a middle-aged man beset by chronic back pain.

What does this pain mean? It can mean that he has arthritis, a medical symbol; or it can mean he is undergoing some midlife crisis, a psychological symbol; or it can mean that he is undergoing the paschal mystery, that this is his cross, a religious symbol. Or it might mean all three. The symbols with which we enter and interpret our experience can be low (suffering arthritis) or high (being part of the paschal mystery!).

God's apparent absence in ordinary experience is intimately connected to the diminished height of our symbolic hedge.

The Shattered Lantern reminded me that sensing God's presence is not the same thing as faith. God is near whether we feel him or not. "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed," Jesus declares (John 20:29). Saint John of the Cross famously wrote of the "dark night of the soul,"€ claiming that sometimes God withdraws his presence.

-- Carolyn Arends

Read the rest here....

Us vs Them

I am intrigued by Dr. Katz.  I read him mostly because of his insight on health and the variety of misconceptions he debunks about current fads and remedies, especially as it relates to diet and obesity.  He obviously is talented and a thoughtful thinker even outside his familiar domain of medicine, as is displayed in his article referenced below:

Our literature -- even our greatest literature -- seems to sanctify the insoluble problem. It suggests to us that we live in a world of either / or, good and evil, us and them. In such a world, our heroes must fight, all too often to the death, with those whose allegiances or ideologies oppose our own. The adversaries of our heroes are, in turn, the heroes of those whose allegiances, ideologies, and aspirations they represent. And so it is that a cultural fixation on the pertinacious impasse, immune to reconciliations, blind to common ground, vulnerable only to arguments punctuated with the points of projectiles and edges of a blade has given us the predictable: “more heroes dead than heroic ways to die.”*

The origins of this dualistic view of reality likely extend to scripture, which in most of its prevailing variations gives us a world of good in eternal conflict with evil. But of course any human being with the vaguest insights about being human knows that for the most part none of us is purely evil, and certainly none of us is purely good. The best of us have bad days, bad impulses, and “evil” inclinations. The worst of us may be capable of love and loyalty. Much is made about the color of our epidermis, which says nothing about who we are. Our character, which says everything about who we are, inevitably comes in shades of gray.

And yet, we propagate the simple expediency of good versus evil, us versus them.

-- David L. Katz, MD, MPH

Seems both sad and true...continue reading.

Who Means the Most to Us?

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.

-- Henri Nouwen

How You Made Them Feel

I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

-- Maya Angelou

Out of Reach

Nothing set a person so much out of the devil's reach as humility.

-- Jonathan Edwards

How the Secret of the Snake Changed My Life Forever

*Photo Credit: Oleh Slobodeniuk, Creative Commons

More people are bitten trying to let go of snakes than when they grab them.

Easy to grab, hard to let go.

-- John Ortberg

Many years ago I struggled with some pretty severe sinful patterns in my life. Some would call them addictions, and if I’m being honest, they were. These weren’t your run-of-the-mill sinful patterns. They were the kind that destroy lives and break up marriages.

Which, for me, they did both.

In the darkest hours of these struggles, I found depression and a desire to end my life. At the worst point, I truly believed there would be no way out except to die.

This is the power of addiction, and sin is, among other things, addictive.  John went on to explain, this is true of everything that can destroy human character: deceit, bitterness, pornography, greed, debt, and workaholism. These sins are serpents that will quickly weaken the human spirit.

My awareness of the secret of the snake has been tremendously helpful. When I feel the urge to do something I know will be dishonoring to God, I envision myself holding onto a cobra and trying to let go. I pray and ask Him to help give me the strength not to pick it up in the first place.

My fear of getting bit is sometimes more powerful than the pleasure I think I’ll get by trying to grab the snake. As Mark Twain once said, “It is easier to stay out than to get out.”

-- Brian Gardner

Continue reading this helpful article about the power of addiction by clicking the 'Secret of the Snake' link above.

Humility and Will

Great leaders display a paradoxical combination of personal humility and professional will, channeling their energy, drive, creativity, and discipline into something larger and more enduring than themselves.

-- Jim Collins

CT: Why Confess Sins in Worship?

Corporate confession is a time to air it all out and reflect on our regrettable tendency to harm one another. It is a great equalizer, reminding us that we are all guilty of sinful actions and omissions, and that we all need forgiveness.

I believe that saying the words — having them move through our breath and on our lips — has meaning in itself. Even if we don't pay close attention as we speak, the words become real for us. Our bodies will remember them. Later in the week, a phrase from that confession might come to mind when we most need it.

Much of worship works in this subliminal way. It engages our sensibilities in a way we do not fully understand. A line from a hymn, a passage from Scripture, or a sermon may seem to pass over us. Even if we feel an emotional tug, the moment passes. A connection has been made, however, and its meaning can become clearer over time.

-- Kathleen Norris

Continue here....

When You Are Stronger

When you are stronger, you can do more.

I have found this to be true over and over again.  I have seen it in others; why do they seem to be able to do (or be) so much?  I have seen it in myself; recognizing how weak I can be and the tiredness that swims like a remora around that weakness...as well how much more capacity develops, how much more energy develops when I commit myself to working, growing, discipline, and gaining strength.  This is certainly observable in athletic performances we see in the Olympics.  These people can quite simply just do a lot more than I ever did and, while talent is certainly involved, most of it comes down to the fact that they worked a lot harder at something than I ever did (a lot harder).  And, this made them stronger and gave them greater capacity.

I don't think this is limited to the physical realm either, as I have observed similar realities in others and in myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  When you are stronger, you can simply do more.

And here's the really good news:

When you do more, you learn more.  When you learn more, you become more.  When you become more, others want to do the same.

Doing Instead of Watching

Anyone can share their opinions about movies or TV or even (I'll grudgingly admit) books. That's why opinions are quickly forgotten -- what you say isn't particularly interesting. What you do definitely is.

So spend your time doing instead of watching. Cool things will happen. 

-- Jeff Haden

Put this and yesterday's post together? Sounds like a good process to me.

Eating and Drinking

We all need to eat and drink to stay alive. But having a meal is more than eating and drinking. It is celebrating the gifts of life we share. A meal together is one of the most intimate and sacred human events. Around the table we become vulnerable, filling one another's plates and cups and encouraging one another to eat and drink. Much more happens at a meal than satisfying hunger and quenching thirst. Around the table we become family, friends, community, yes, a body.

That is why it is so important to "set" the table. Flowers, candles, colorful napkins all help us to say to one another, "This is a very special time for us, let's enjoy it!"

-- Henri Nouwen

Say It

Sometimes you don’t know what you want to say until you try to say it.

-- Bruce Kasanoff

Being Both Large and Small

Being both large and small are important, I believe even inextricably bound. You can’t be a leader without having a vision that’s rooted in something big and motivational, but bordered by detail and hard work.

A strong leader, however, likes to hear voices other than their own. They listen, whether they are walking the halls or wandering the internet. They listen to seasoned veterans, but also to people just starting in the business. They answer every email and they find the time to communicate face-to-face. That’s how they learn.

-- David Sable

...and what a wonderful snow today to remind us of what is both large and small!

Need

It is our need that knits (binds?) us together.

Healing

It is hard to wait for healing.

...especially in a society where there are so many remedies for a quick fix or speeding up the process.  I wonder is there is a purpose in the time it takes to heal; a reason that we have to wait for it.

Pure Will

The full acting out of the self's surrender to God therefore demands pain: this action, to be perfect, must be done from the pure will to obey, in the absence, or in the teeth, of inclination.

-- C.S. Lewis

CT: How I Beat Back the Darkness after Rape

It's psychologically easier to bear false guilt than to bear powerless vulnerability. As long as you are responsible, you are in control.

-- Halee Gray Scott

Prompted by a recent episode of 'Downton Abbey', this quote from a helpful Christianity Today article about rape grabbed my attention.

It seems to me this statement is probably true in many of the ways we tend to think about different areas of our lives.