2014 Toppers

Here are some of my favorites from 2014:

December:
Not By A Thread
Advent: Psalm 136 & Isaiah 55
The Weak
UPS Kid: One Kid's Dream & A Driver Who Made It Come True

November:
Where Is Your Joy Hiding?
I Pray
I Am Proud Of You
Great Oxymoron

October:
Judger-ing
Garden Of The Saints
What Can I Do?
Doesn't Mean

September:
Your Yes
Fatal Flaw
Resilience
Is Conspiring

August:
The Demise of Listening
Don't Ask
The Difference
7 Reasons Why Spending Time in Nature Does Wonders for the Soul

July:
What You Don't Do
Comeback
Your View
Multitasking Is Making You Stupid
Involve Me

June:
Light & Flowers
Bears Our Burdens
Hate Comes From One Thing
Community

May:
Further
Calling (vs. Ego)
Facts & Misinformation
Honest With Ourselves

April:
Confirmation Bias
Dark...of our Striving
Act On It...Internally
Dualism & Identity

March:
Jump Shot
Each Day
Disciplined Pursuit of Less
In the Dark

February:
28th
Who Means the Most to Us?

When You Are Stronger

Eating and Drinking

Need

January:
Enlarge
Mentally Strong People: 13 Things They Avoid

Our Connectedness: Creates the Self

Dr. Siegel says, ”We’re not meant to live in isolation. Our connectedness creates the self.”

So many leaders seem hapless about why people aren’t motivated. They go about trying to motivate them in the wrong way—which is either to punish them or offer them more external rewards. But a real, long-lasting motivator is internal. They’re engaged by the sense of “we”.

Studies of happiness and well-being show that when you’re a part of a community, you thrive. A leader who is aware of the importance of relationships will create an environment in the organization that engages the worker to put their best foot forward for the common good.  Continue here....

-- Daniel Goleman

Not Just By A Thread

When we consider things going on in our lives, or in the lives of those we love, it sometimes can feel like our hope is hanging by a...thread.  So precarious.  The slightest of shifts in the wrong direction, or things not turning out the way we wanted, seem quite capable of severing our hope.  Maybe this is because our hope is so thin...or, at least, our perception of it.

An irony is that when we are hanging on to our 'thread' so carefully, so protectively, we actually prevent hope from growing.  Our hope, in this mode, only seems to narrow.

When, however, we don't cling so tightly to the fragility of the thing we are hoping for and turn to what gives us real hope in the first place, we start to discover that the Giver of hope causes us to see something different.  To know something different.  In fact, to hope in something different.

And, we become less tentative and fearful about the thing we are afraid will happen or that we will lose.  We begin to live more fully out of our true hope and let it grow into the cord that is much stronger than we previously perceived.

Love drives out fear.  Fear keeps things small and tight.  Love grows, is elastic, and creates freedom.

It is almost as if love allows 'our thread' to mysteriously become a strong cable of connection to our Hope -- a kind that is unseverable.

We may still feel, or imagine, great scissors around us...getting closer and closer to cutting the cord on us or on someone we love.  But, we now also know that our real Hope has made our position secure.  No cutting can separate us...or those we love.

And, we live out of this knowledge that now has become faith.  And, we love, instead of living afraid.

...and our thread starts to be seen for what it really is, thicker and thicker and thicker.

Peace, in Due Time

See in the meantime that your faith bringeth forth obedience, and God in due time will cause it to bring forth peace.

-- John Owen

Alter Our Lives

We must alter our lives in order to alter our hearts, for it is impossible to live one way and pray another.

-- William Law

Tobaggoning!

His Name Shall Be Called

For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
    and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

-- Isaiah 9:6

Speaking of Gifts: What About the Gift of...Space?

One of the better gifts we can give to each other is space.

Space to stop running, performing.  Space to take a deep breath; space to be again, to listen to what is beating underneath it all...all that fills in our space.

We lose a lot when we don't have space in our lives.  Not the least of which, is the capacity to allow for the space needed in someone else's life.  When we're filled up, we tend to demand that others keep us that way...to keep attention on what I need.  When I allow the space needed to recognize that others need it, too, I am free to require less of someone else to fill what I think I need.  I begin again to imagine them as someone who can offer me something, but is not required to do so.  I can began to see past only what I need and to see what someone else needs.

Space is gift...and like a ripple-effect, it keeps on giving, especially on a glorious eve like this one.

Attune

Self-awareness drives self-management. If you’re tuned out, you can’t manage your internal world well. Self-awareness also drives empathy. If you don’t attune to yourself, you won’t be able to attune well to others.

-- Daniel Goleman

Caroling

Lori, is this what we're up to tonight?  ...gotta love the kids' reactions.

Vision: Complete Harmony & Holy Greed

All of creation belongs together in the arms of its Creator. The final vision is that not only will all men and women recognize that they are brothers and sisters called to live in unity but all members of God’s creation will come together in complete harmony. Jesus the Christ came to realise that vision. Long before he was born, the prophet Isaiah saw it:

The wolf will live with the lamb,
the panther lie down with the kid,
calf, lion and fat-stock beast together,
with a little boy to lead them.
The cow and the bear will graze, 
their young will lie down together.
The lion will eat hay like the ox.
The infant will play over the den of the adder;
the baby will put his hand into the viper’s lair.
No hurt, no harm will be done
on all my holy mountain,
for the country will be full of knowledge of Yahweh
as the waters cover the sea.

-- Isaiah 11:6-9

We must keep this vision alive.

-- Henri Nouwen

The sights and songs of Christmas remind me of our hope of this vision (reminds me of Mary's).  I wait for one more gift this season...a chorus of Hallelujah, for which I feel a bit greedy. A holy greed I hope! -- the kind that hopes for just one more hearing...with all of the hopes above in tow!

UM vs SMU

...didn't win, thanks for the pic, Cliff!

...but enjoyed the day -- food, drinks, and each other.

Ice Skating Anyone?

Advent: Psalm 136 & Isaiah 55

If we’re left feeling empty, then we’re who God has in mind in this passage from Isaiah the prophet:

     You who have no money
       come, buy and eat!

     Come, buy wine and milk
       without money and without price.

Our destitution is our currency: we trade it in.

-- Daniel L

A beautiful Advent piece...continue here.  May we find ways to give and receive without our money.  For our money can't really buy what we want or what is needed.  Let us give from the destitution of our waiting for God -- for from Him our empty is filled.

Among other things, I hope to try something along these lines with my family this Christmas -- what would I give if using money was off-limits?  ...we shall see.

The Weak

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.

-- Gandhi

Easy To Be Afraid

It is easy to be afraid of things we don't understand.

For example, white cops of black men in stereotypical situations.

Fear, unacknowledged or misunderstood, nearly always leads to violence...of one kind or another.

Experience Our Emotions

We need to experience our emotions in order to come to know deeper truths...for ourselves and for others. Emotions can be pathways to our heart and to God's Spirit within us, guiding us to understandings of things we otherwise would not know.

Two Beautiful Daughters

Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.

-- St. Augustine

Root of Joy

The root of joy is gratefulness...It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.

-- Brother David Steindl-Rast

Joy is a deep, internal response to something...to something deeply good. Inherently, good. Good, in contrast to bad. Or, good, that prevails...that has been waited for, hoped for.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

-- Romans 12:12

Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o’er the plains,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains.

    Gloria, in excelsis Deo!
    Gloria, in excelsis Deo!

Shepherds, why this jubilee?
Why your joyous strains prolong?
What the gladsome tidings be
Which inspire your heav’nly song?
Come to Bethlehem and see
Christ Whose birth the angels sing;
Come, adore on bended knee,
Christ the Lord, the newborn King.
See Him in a manger laid,
Whom the choirs of angels praise;
Mary, Joseph, lend your aid,
While our hearts in love we raise.

-- "Angels We Have Heard On High"...I've enjoyed this version lately

Joy is connected to gratitude...for true goodness.

The Flu Vaccine: of Flubbing, and Drubbing

Vaccine protection against flu is never 100%. Even when the vaccine and virus are well matched, there can be a mix of flu strains in circulation, with some less like the vaccine strains than others. The vaccine depends on the host’s immune system response, and often those most in need of protection -- the elderly, the very young, the chronically ill -- have the weakest immune system responses. And then there is simply the fact that no defense against anything is ever 100%. A given bullet from a given gun can pierce a bulletproof vest. That doesn’t make the vest useless; just imperfect.

The use of flu vaccine imperfections as an argument against immunization is not only misguided, but a classic instance of making an elusive perfect the enemy of attainable good. The fact that people can still die in car crashes is scarcely an argument against seat belts and airbags. Those not saved in no way obviate the merit of those who are. Were we to treat seat belts like vaccines, there would be websites devoted to deaths among those wearing seat belts; arguments that seat belts were to blame for those deaths; the insinuation, or overt accusation, that seat belts are in fact a genocidal tactic of some government agency; and a patina of “back to nature” virtue painted over the anti-seat belt movement.  

The bottom line is that anti-vaccine sentiment and associated conspiracy theories are a luxury accessible only to societies largely spared the historical toll of dreadful, vaccine-preventable diseases. If our children were still prone to polio, any anti-vaccine evangelists would be trampled by the mob rushing to the immunization clinic.  Continue....

-- David L. Katz, MD, MPH

UPS Kid: One Kid's Dream & A Driver Who Made It Come True

Close Contact

Our work brings people face to face with love. To us what matters is an individual. To get to love the person must come in close contact with him.

-- Mother Teresa

That They Matter

Here’s what I know to be true, nobody gives their best for a paycheck exchange.

We like to pretend that business is just business and niceties like “thank you” don’t matter. But what differentiates great companies that attract and keep extraordinary talent willing to give it their all – to put their heart and soul into what they do – is that they recognize the human investment being made. Heart and soul cannot be commoditized.

People need to know that they’re seen. That they matter. That is the greatest gift we can give each other.

-- Kimberly Davis

Play: Great Neurologically

There’s a circuit in the emotional areas of the brain that’s involved in playfulness. It actually promotes plasticity of the brain. It engages creative combinations of things that can really benefit a worker. Too often we separate work from play. Yet incorporating more joy in our work life is a great thing to do neurologically.

For innovation to happen, you really want to have people step out of the familiar and take joy in making new combinations. That requires vulnerability. A person has to feel like she’s in an environment that respects that when she steps out of the familiar, she’s going in to territory where it may not work out. And that’s okay.

-- Daniel Siegel

Best Practices

Strategy is about folding in the future, not extrapolating the past.

I don’t believe in best practices, I believe in next practices.

-- C.K. Pralahad

True Peace - And The Weight of Ferguson, ISIS, and Boko Haram

True peace is not merely the absence of tension, it is the presence of justice.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr


Some thoughts on injustice and the peace we can bring through the suffering we share with Christ...here.

Ferguson's Real Problem is Poverty

W.E.B. Du Bois said in 1897…“The man who won’t control his finances won’t control anything else,” and, “...nothing positive will ever occur in a community that fails to circulate its dollars.”

Frederick Douglass said in 1874, "…the failure of the Freeman Bank did more to set freed slaves back than 10 more years of slavery." The Freedman's Bank, signed into law by President Abraham Lincoln on March 3rd, 1865, was chartered to teach freed slaves about money (the circa 1865 version of modern day financial literacy).

Ambassador Andrew Young said in 2005, speaking before 18 African Heads of State, “..you can make more money, honestly, from a growing economy, than you can steal from a dying economy.”

Van Jones said in 2013, “..nothing stops a bullet like a job."

I said earlier this week at the launch of Jacksonville 2020 in Jacksonville, Florida with Mayor Alvin Brown there, “if you deal with class, you get race for free.”

The real challenges of Ferguson, Mo. in November, 2014, are more about money, poverty and class, than race, police and the color line.  Continue....

-- John Hope Bryant

Magical Piano

Listening & Compassion

It is your life experiences that open up your heart to have compassion for the most difficult challenges that people face along life’s journeys. Every day we have opportunities to develop our hearts, through getting to know the life stories of those with whom we work…”

-- Bill George

By listening, leaders can see the world through another’s eyes, find solutions and build a open, transparent culture. Listening gives leaders the opportunity to connect with people on a completely new level, building stronger, more trusted relationships on the path to authenticity.

-- Carolyn Ray

Validation

We tend to look for things to validate our own experience.

It could be what we like, or the way we go about business, articles that say things that we agree with, political positions, sides of a controversy like Ferguson, the way we do church, etc.  We say things like, "I have always thought that..." to help validate something about ourselves.

It is more difficult to look for things that we don't like or that come from  a perspective we don't understand or isn't 'like us'.

Perhaps, in doing this, we are hoping that we are right, that something is true about us, that we can get that confirmed.  Perhaps this will increase our standing or get us closer to something else we are wanting even more.

Here's the thing, we must be willing to set aside our demands for validation.  Though we will always need some of it (to function as human-beings), if we are or become unwilling to see things from another person's point-of-view, we will doom ourselves to the inevitability of violence against others.  We can see this happening at nearly all levels of relationships -- inter-personally, in families, with our neighbors, within our communities and country, and between nations.

The Art of Listening

-- Bruce Kasanoff

Is there something more important we can do for people than to listen to them?

What Is Going On

Usually, when someone does something that hurts us, it has more to do with what is going on within that person than it has to do with you or me. This doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it does mean the behavior is likely misdirected and not personal, although it feels that way initially.

-- Lauren Lamarche

Where is Your Joy Hiding?

So it's searchable:

When you're looking for joy, you will always find it hiding in your gratitude.

-- Ann Voskamp

Poverty of Spirit

It seems we must know a kind of poverty, in our spirit, in order to know God.  This may be true because it is one of the key ways we learn that we really are in need of him.  We often don't know this until we have experienced the dearth of our own ability to provide what we want for ourselves, without God.

It is an unavoidable path, not because of God, but because of us.  But the secret of it is that it reveals to us our deeper desires. We discover our true hope once we have exhausted all the other things we discover we are still hoping in.

We should, therefore, deeply respect periods of this kind of poverty within us, and within others.  It is not only of no good, but also unhelpful, to rush out of our experience of poverty.  Nor is it good to to hurry this process along in others.  We must be willing to wait, to yearn.

I am watching this process in a couple of people these days...it is difficult, but I am reminded about what it is that I am actually watching.  Like leaves turning color, I am seeing a slow changing, beautiful to behold.  Poverty is delivering them...and me!

If Necessary

Preach the gospel, and if necessary, use words.

-- St. Francis of Assisi

Give Thanks - For He Is Good

Thanksgiving:

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    his love endures forever.
Cry out, “Save us, God our Savior;
    gather us and deliver us from the nations,
that we may give thanks to your holy name,
    and glory in your praise.”

-- 1 Chronicles 16:34

I am grateful today for the wealth of the Lord...I have been given much.  Cherished family, good friends, community, more comfort than I need or deserve, health, meaningful work...and much more, like these kinds of things, identified here by Linford Detweiler:

- Our accumulated memories and stories
- Our sometimes loneliness
- The gift of learning to be astonished
- The gift of learning that through our imperfect world runs a deep current of love that refuses to be contained or extinguished

Even more, I am thankful for the endless goodness of God. He was making a way for me and for those I love, even before I knew what I needed from him.  The glory of his ways is without measure...not only for salvation, but also for the beauty and joy of relationship with Him.

Thank you!

Move

Familiarity creates comfort. But comfort is often the enemy of improvement.

When the fear of moving is the only thing holding you back, move.

-- Jeff Haden

Doubt's Opportunity

Turn your doubt into curiosity.

It's not that doubt is a problem, though it certainly can be inconvenient (but, so can the things that create it!).  It's what we do with doubt that is important.

Youthful Sacrifice

Add to this that he was partly a young man of our time -- that is, honest by nature, demanding the truth, seeking it and believing in it, and in that belief demanding immediate participation in it with all the strength of his soul; demanding an immediate deed, with an unfailing desire to sacrifice everything for this deed, even life.  Although, unfortunately, these young men do not understand that the sacrifice of life is, perhaps, the easiest of all sacrifices in many cases, while to sacrifice, for example, five or six years of their ebulliently youthful life to hard, difficult studies, to learning, in order to increase tenfold their strength to serve the very truth and the very deed that they loved and set out to accomplish -- such sacrifice is quite often almost beyond the strength of many of them.

-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brother Karamazov

Free Forgiveness

The gospel is a doctrine that teaches a far higher matter than the wisdom, righteousness, and religion of the world; it teaches free forgiveness of sins through Christ.

-- Martin Luther

Pleasing God Is Not

Pleasing God is not a means to our godliness, it is the fruit of our godliness.  For it is the fruit of trust.

-- The Cure

Snowman!

Wow, Frosty is already here and well fed...and before Thanksgiving!

Only Constant

The only constant in life is change.

-- Heraclitus

Feedback

Customer feedback is great for telling you what you did wrong. It's terrible at telling you what you should do next.

-- Phil Libin, CEO of Evernote

Starts to Pay Attention

Research seems to show it takes seven to twelve points of contact before the receiver of your message starts to pay attention.

No One Really Cares

In reality no one really cares how we look...except us. 

So do this. Undress and stand in front of the mirror. (And don’t do the hip-turn shoulder-twist move to make your waist look slimmer and your shoulders broader.)

Take a good look. That’s who you are. Chances are you won't like what you see, but you'll probably also be surprised you don’t look as bad as you suspected.

Then, if you don’t like how you look, decide what you’re willing to do about it and start doing it. (Just don't ever compare yourself to other people; your only goal is to be a better version of the current you.)

Or, if you aren’t willing to do anything about how you look, that’s fine too. Move on. Let it go. Stop worrying about how you look. Stop wasting energy on something you don't care enough about to fix.

Either way, remember that while the only person who really cares how you look is you, many people care about the things you do.

Looking good is fun. Doing good makes you happy.

-- Jeff Haden

I Pray

I this pray for someone I love:

God, before all is said and done, I pray that you would find him.  I pray that he would find you.  I know the road won't be easy; it hasn't been for me.  But, I pray that in your great mercy, in his own way, and in your own time, that he would come to love you deeply.  Whenever that happens, I will be most grateful.  Between now and then, whether sooner or later, help me to represent what I can of you...for his sake.  Help me to realize that the work is really yours, not mine.  That the choice is really his, not mine.  Help me to be patient, willing to love over the period of time this will take...a lifetime even, just as it has been for me.

First Date

I Am Proud Of YOU

I am proud of YOU.

What goes through you head when you hear that?  If it is offered to someone else, is it something like, "Why doesn't anyone say that to me?"  And, if it is offered to me, is it something like, "Really?  Why, what did I do?"

We want it and don't expect it, at the same time.  And, we tie it to something that has been or should be done...in order to deserve it.  What happens when we think about it without attaching whether we deserve it or not?  Why is it that when we offer such a statement to someone else, we don't necessarily want to add the reason for it.  We express it, because it is true, like a parent to a child, not based on whether or not it was earned.  But, when we receive it, we feel the need to know...why?

I am proud of you communicates that I accept you, that I enjoy you...no strings attached.  And, I want you to know it, especially in a world that only offers it with the condition of continued performance.  That's not what I want.  Perhaps, that is why I am curious about the reason when it is offered to me.

It is both disorienting and relieving to hear such words of acceptance and pleasure from someone else.  Perhaps, God said it best when He said about His Son, "This is my Son, in whom I am well pleased." ...because he was doing a good job?  No, because He loved him so.

Like the beauty of this morning, with its snow flurries dancing in between me and the sun behind them, I want to offer my "I am proud of YOU" to someone I love today.

We Need Them

“They said this would be easy. But it’s not. Unexpected things happen that change everything. This is too hard for me.”

Sometimes our people look different than we imagine.
Sometimes they are only in our life for a train ride.
But we need them to get us through the unexpected.

Just before exiting the train, a businessman sensitive to her embarrassment gave her a wink:

“I didn’t see a thing, Beautiful.”

Continue...

What We Do Have

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

-- Frederick Keonig

Great Oxymoron

No one matures in bitterness.
No one gets free in isolation.
No one heals rehashing the testimonies of bad religion.
No one gets to love or be loved well in self protection.

Self-protection is one of the great oxymorons. We're the only person in the world we don't have the potential to protect. And once we hide from trusting God and others, we may become more enflamed, more self-justified, more calloused in repeating our blame.

-- The Cure

Reminds me of this passage:

“Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!"

-- Jesus, Matthew 6: 22-23 (MSG)

Continue here with some further thoughts on trust from Donald Miller.

False Absolutes

Science can purify religion from error and superstition. Religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes.

-- Pope John Paul II

CT: God Is Not A Candy Machine

At the end of the day this is a mystery, and God is not a candy machine. We have to live with that.  If people are insisting on a system, they are misunderstanding God.

If God really invented the universe and created it out of nothing, my goodness, it’s like an ant arguing with a human. It reflects our inability to grasp the greatness of God. We demand a kind of pint-sized logic of him.


We demand a user-friendly God, and that’s simply not who he is. He created the galaxies. If he deigns to talk to you, ever, or do anything for you, ever, you should just be grateful and shut up. Don’t demand that he now has to do whatever you demand him to do. It really boils down to humility.

To certain questions the first thing we have to say is, I don’t know. It’s a profound mystery.

The Bible tells us we are supposed to pray, and it’s God’s business what he does with the prayer.  Continue....

-- Eric Metaxas, fron a CT interview about his new book, Miracles

Funk of Fear

So I'm up unusually early this Saturday morning.  I couldn't go back to sleep after a bit of an all-to-vivid dream.  It was about a combination natural-disaster in our area and the resulting chaos of failed law-and-order.  ...somehow I ended up fleeing Warsaw to Columbia City and everyone had knives or swords and was just running around stabbing people, as if to establish some kind of order to protect what they thought they would need to survive in a post-apocalyptic world.  Strange stuff...to be dreaming about.  But also, I suspect, a reality that lurks beneath the surface of our collective psyche.

The news from around the world does sink into us somewhere, despite our efforts to turn it off.  Our state-of-things is shockingly tenuous.  It wouldn't take much for us, here, to be in a similar state.  It wouldn't take much to send us all into a funk of fear.

I write this for 2 reasons.  One, it reminds me that there are a lot of dependencies in life, and not nearly as many independencies as I would like.  And two, ironically, it is in our dependencies that we have opportunity to find real life.  Such deep-rooted fears inside of us can break way for us to acknowledge that we are truly needy and humble people.  Life is mystery and we must learn to trust in our dependencies, rather than in the things we stay so busy at trying to protect ourselves.  This, actually, brings us to an unexpected kind of relief.  We have to trust something anyway.

The good news is that we have Someone who is trustworthy...even in a fearful world where we can't really trust much of anything or anyone.

Ordinary Love

We can't reach any higher
if we can't deal with ordinary love...

-- U2

...click image for video.

Attracts More

Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.

-- Christiane Northrup

Soul Quake

Sometimes you need a soul quake to find the fault lines in your life.

-- Ann Voskamp, A Holy Experience

Imagination

To our brains, safety is largely based on familiarity.

This works against us in many ways now. Most people fear or resist change, even when they aren’t aware of why. Even people who embrace change have a hard time in the midst of it. Imagination is a tool that lets us hack reality and reshape it to our vision. Imagination is often viewed as a solitary activity, but it is most powerful when a group of people can stand together behind a shared mission and make it real.  Continue...

-- Rita King

Cold Fall Morning

It was a beautiful start to an even better Fall day in Winona Lake yesterday!

Unchastity

If anyone thinks that Christians regard unchastity as the supreme vice, he is quite wrong. The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the least bad of all sins…. According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil. Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.

-- C.S. Lewis

Blood Oranges In The Snow

It could be the colder weather...or the fireplace fire last night...or all the shoes by our back-door from all the kids being home again with their friends.  Or, it could be that tender time of year we now embark on, where some of the things that matter most are more clearly in view.  Whatever it is, I'm ready for the new music above, from Over the Rhine; hoping it sinks into the deeper places and rests there like it usually does, awakening me again to myself and the goodness around me.

...click image to stream.

Judger-ing

The key problem with making judgments is that they imply universality. Since a judgment is universal, it exists independently of who is saying it, and this is one of the great attractions of judgment. Someone who judges doesn't have to take responsibility for the judgment or defend it; it simply exists. “It’s bad.” “It’s God’s will.” This makes it very difficult for the judger to even consider reviewing the situation being judged, or considering alternative understandings.  They assume that everyone else should have the same identical response, thus imposing the judge’s values on everyone else.

Judging sets in motion a recursive circular process that typically builds upon itself, and “snowballs,” becoming more and more widespread and intense as time goes on. The more I judge, the more I delete the details of my own experiencing. The less I am aware of my own experiencing, the more defensive and threatened I am likely to feel, so I will tend to rely on judgment even more.

This does not allow the generative listening, questioning and debate to occur required for creative and inventive problem solving. This reactive response keeps people in inert and restrictive ‘either/or’ ‘good/bad’ or ‘right/wrong’ paradigms that focus on making others conform to their point of view in ways that delete possibilities and options for creating a different perspective or alternate point of view.  Continue...

-- Janet Sernack

Habits Are Often Very Fragile

When an action is easy to do, you are more likely to do it regularly. Since new habits are often very fragile, the most meaningful changes you can make are not to your attitude, but to your environment.

Examine where the habit starts to break down. These are your “ah-screw-it” moments – specific sources of friction and the reasons why you tend to fail at committing to the behavior (where you say “Screw this, it’s not worth the effort!”).

A commonly found piece of advice on building habits is to start small.  ...continue.

-- Gregory Ciotti 

Don't Waste

Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.

I'm not sure who said this, but it seems helpful as an approach to the mysteries of life and work.  It seems to reflect a kind of trust that is needed to move, in spite of uncertainties that we often feel.  Something is gained (learning, etc.) in the doing of things, especially when under-girded with at sense of faith.  And, the things gained are not necessarily tied to success.

Not To Be Easy

So it's searchable:

My job is to not be easy on people.  My job is to make them better.

-- Steve Jobs

Everyone

Everyone has their own way of leading...and it needs to grow.

The Garden of the Saints

The Church is a very human organization but also the garden of God's grace. It is a place where great sanctity keeps blooming.  Saints are people who make the living Christ visible to us in a special way.  Some saints have given their lives in the service of Christ and his Church; others have spoken and written words that keep nurturing us; some have lived heroically in difficult situations; others have remained hidden in quiet lives of prayer and meditation; some were prophetic voices calling for renewal; others were spiritual strategists setting up large organizations or networks of people; some were healthy and strong; others were quite sick, and often anxious and insecure.

But all of them in their own ways lived in the Church as in a garden where they heard the voice calling them the Beloved and where they found the courage to make Jesus the center of their lives.'

-- Henri Nouwen

Thanks for sharing, Sue.

SL: What You’ll Find When You Stop Running

I was a member of a counter terrorist group. I wore dark camo, a helmet, night vision goggles, a bulletproof vest, and black face paint – the whole deal.

Running furiously through the woods, we eventually fanned out, finding separate paths– a strategy we’d obviously learned in training. As I was charging through the underbrush, I heard footsteps behind me. I had been singled out for pursuit. I could hear him running behind me; the leaves and sticks under his feet crunching as he followed.

Nearing exhaustion, I kept running as fast as I could, but he followed me relentlessly. With limited visibility, I tripped over a root, sprawling on the forest floor, my face in the dirt. In a moment, his footsteps stopped, and I realized that he had caught up with me.

I turned to look at the face of the person who I thought would surely kill me...continue.

-- Al Andrews

Dynastic Wealth

Melinda and I are strong believers that dynastic wealth is bad for both society and the children involved. We want our children to make their own way in the world. They’ll have all sorts of advantages, but it will be up to them to create their lives and careers.

-- Bill Gates

An interesting essay on wealth...continue here.

Meaning

Life is about meaning – the meaning that comes from authentic relationships with those we love, and from worthwhile work that we believe in.

-- Jennifer Dulski

Lasting Morale

Lasting morale comes from being part of an organization that succeeds by providing people the responsibility needed to contribute in meaningful ways.

-- John Routa

Phoney Separation

Managers who don’t lead are quite discouraging, but leaders who don’t manage don’t know what’s going on. It’s a phoney separation that people are making between the two.

-- Henry Mintzberg

Something Beyond Yourself

Stories are keys that release you out of yourself and into the wide freedom of caring about something beyond yourself.

-- Ann Voskamp

Happy Birthday, Tami!

We love you...and what you love.  More pics here.

What Can I Do?

What can I do?  Sometimes am I blinded by a lot of what I feel like I can't do, what I can't get to.  To maintain or discover a renewed vision, I can still ask myself to see what I can do.

I can recognize.

I can seek to understand.

I can offer compassion.

I can invite.

I can love...both by being firm, and by not keeping score.

And, I can remind myself of this; all that I hope for, and all that I want is given, not achieved.  That takes a lot of the pressure off, that often attends our fears.

It really helps to know, too, that the Master of all the things above is way ahead of me.  He's way better at it than me, He's very cognizant of what is needed, and He is actively pursuing His plan of goodness for us.

I can rest.  I can wait patiently.  I can be free.  ...that's what I can do.

Shorten It

Never Grow

Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't Coexist

Growth and comfort don’t coexist.

-- Ginni Rometty

You Do Not Teach By Teaching

You do not teach by teaching — you teach by loving. Be humble and courageous.

-- Glennon Doyle Melton

Pizza Delivery Driver Surprised by IWU Tip

Makenzie forwarded this article here....

CT: success has little to do with you

Imagine asking two successful people how they managed to accomplish what they have. The first says, “I’m just very gifted.” The second says, “I’ve just worked very hard.” Who sounds more smug?

Our meritocracy—in which people are valued based on ability alone—has conditioned us to consider it arrogant to attribute our accomplishments to God’s gracious gift. For some reason, gift talk sounds elitist. Conversely, we think we’re being humble when we say we worked hard for our success. The gospel polarity of grace versus works, though correctly understood in theory, is capsized in practice: “You succeeded? You must have worked harder than others,” we think. “You didn’t succeed? Try again.”

For it is by works you have succeeded, not by gifts, so that no one can boast. Logical as it may seem, it’s far from the gospel.  ...continue.

-- Andrew Wilson

The Ridge

Absolute Certainty

Nothing would remain stable in human society if we determined to believe only what can be held with absolute certainty.

-- St. Augustine

FMSC: 351 454 98000+ 268

Thanks to our friend Vicky who drew us all in to a great evening of work together at a local FMSC mobile-pack. We, and others (351 people), packed 454 boxes of food (containing over 98,000 meals)...enough to feed 268 people, like Nelson, for a year.

It was joy!

Like A Moron

...begins where we dare to enter into foreign, scary places. ...happens when we're willing to dare looking stupid; or, in the words of Wendell Berry in Citizenship Papers, to "take the risks of amateurism." Witness goes hand-in-hand with entering into foreign discussions that don't happen in the church. Otherwise, the church will die talking to itself.

When we are interested solely in winning the dialogue, we will stop entering into them because we don't feel we can win them. As my friend Dr. Dan Brunner has said: Christians don't know what to talk about when we aren't talking about conversion or theology. This is indicative of a church culture that deals with its ignorance by silence when it should deal with its ignorance through dialogue.

There is something profoundly scary about throwing yourself into a foreign field where you know nothing because you risk looking like a moron. We prefer safe conversations about faith because they make us look smart. But it is only in the process of looking like a moron that one can receive new wisdom and insight.  ...continue this helpful reading here.

-- A.J. Swoboda

Doesn't Mean

Just because the clouds are there doesn't mean that the stars aren't....

Many mornings lately I have walked to my work-out a bit awestruck by the stars.  When I return, they often are fading in their brilliance because of the light of the rising sun.  I often feel inspired by both phenomenon.

Some days, there are too many clouds to see the stars and I miss the inspiration I often now look forward to.

What I see and feel doesn't really change what is actually true.  It is good to know what is true, even when my feelings don't reinforce it...like knowing the stars are still there, even on a cloudy morning.

(thanks, Mark, for your seed-thought on this for me)

Deepest Gifts

Often out of our deepest pain, come our deepest gifts...

...both the ones we receive and the ones we have to give.

CT: Reconciliation

The net worth of the average black household in the United States is $6,314, compared with $110,500 for the average white household, according to 2011 census data...The black-white income gap is roughly 40 percent greater today than it was in 1967...Black men in their 20s without a high school diploma are more likely to be incarcerated today than employed...

All these constitute not a black problem or a white problem, but an American problem. When so much talent is underemployed and over-incarcerated, the entire country suffers.

...

Our Father in heaven, in you all people of the earth find their true identity. You made us all equally in your image, as your children, and therefore as each other’s brother and sisters.

Holy be your name and the honor you have bestowed on your united church, above our pride, allegiances, and all other identities and affiliations that tempt us to value ourselves above others and put you second.

-- Nicholas Kristoff

Continue reading about why we can still believe in reconciliation and pray here....

Miss Me Yet?

I’m not one to jump on anybody right now because I understand the problems there are, especially the problems when you’re dealing with 17- to 22-year-olds. If you’re losing, your tie is wrong, your socks are wrong, your world is wrong. If you’re winning, you can dress in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and you’re probably right.

-- Tom Izzo

Legacy of Honesty

No legacy is so rich as honesty.

-- Shakespeare

Don't Promote Self-Esteem?

In my counseling office, parents like to tell me that their child is so smart. I rarely hear how compassionate or loving that child is to others. I read so many articles on self-esteem and how important it is for everyone. Is it really that important to think highly of ourselves?

...having high self-esteem didn't improve grades or career achievement. It didn't even reduce alcohol usage. And it especially did not lower violence of any sort (Highly aggressive, violent people happen to think very highly of themselves, debunking the theory that people are aggressive to make up for lower self esteem).

I can't control my brain and how smart I am. Let's not tell our children how smart they are. Let's compliment how hard they have worked on something or how loving they are towards another person. These are all things they can control. Their brain power is not something they can control.

I don't care how highly you think of yourself. I like to focus on your integrity and compassion towards others. Now that will really make this world a better place. Your brain may assist you in that goal. Your liver will help you too. God is love and how much love and compassion you can give to another is what I like to promote.  More here....

-- Pamela Chambers

Strength vs Muscle

I am more interested in strength than I am in muscle.

DM: Why You Can’t Seem to Find Your Willpower

Citing study after study (perhaps too many for an otherwise enjoyable read) Baumeister and Tierney argue willpower actually comes from the muscle of the mind and that it can be strengthened.

Just like any muscle, the brain is strengthened with rest and sleep. After you work your brain, it needs rest in order to grow. Getting enough sleep is key, and taking breaks at regular intervals will help. Ever notice how you have more willpower in the morning than in the evenings, and after a meal as opposed to when you’re hungry?  More here....

-- Donald Miller

As Donald ends up noting, realizing that the brain is a muscle has helped me, too.

Your Yes

Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less.

-- Louie Giglio

VSF Church Camping 2014

It's that time of year again!

Click here for more pics....