More Sensitive

We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.

-- Alan Watts

Walking, Nature, Words & Engagement

When I go on walks, I almost always take my phone with me now.

Not because I have so many people to talk to, but so that I can talk to myself.

Unless I've fooled myself somehow (not actually that hard to do), my phone's availability is not as much for media-tetheredness as it is about capturing some of the many thoughts that flow more freely through my mind when I'm out walking (not to mention the sights involved — like the red flash of a cardinal darting across the path in front of me). The words those thoughts generate sift and sort as they inch me towards the sensations I’m feeling physically (pain, pleasure, etc.) and the emotions I have been carrying around psychologically. 

And then, there is the whole spiritual dimension that seems conspicuously more accessible in the context of the often harmonious dynamics of nature (and, according to Richard Louv, apparently I'm not the only one impacted in such ways). Although nature certainly includes disruption of that harmony, the more consistent experience, at least as I have observed it, seems to be the interplay between everything that appears to be living and breathing together in many contexts like the woods or the ocean or even the skies. I have developed an affection of spirituality, after an extended relationship with it through the lens of religion. Religion seems to often leave you either with a drum-beat to perpetuate itself, or the urge to get as far away from it as possible. Spirituality, on the other hand, seems far less interested in co-opting and moralizing and controlling (even systematizing) things. It just is. It serves both itself and the co-inhabitants of its environment, and perhaps even something greater than mere affective activation (why, for example, would it include so much beauty if it’s all just a personal function?).

Sidebar: All of us, after all, are only partially on to truth. If that feels disputable, what actually is the alternative? That we understand all truths? That certain people understand all truth? If we acknowledge that the body of truth is ultimately not fully known by anyone, wouldn’t that leave us with a slightly different disposition towards our relationship with what we think is true? The reality is, among other things, this makes us far more vulnerable than we prefer to be. Because which part of what is true am I actually after all acquainted with?  And, what if someone else’s partial relationship with the body of what is true has awareness of parts of it that are different from what I am familiar with about it?

So, spirituality has become something, for me, that transcends some of the more limited contexts of my experiences with truth.  There is belief (what you think is true), and there is faith (what you are really trusting in).  And, there is religion (among other things, what tries to aggregate and socialize).  Then, there is spirituality against which they all seem to lay or, at least, tap into.  

Walking then (as confirmed here) — the physical act in a context like nature — awakens my awareness to some of these realities (both within myself and externally...all that is going on around me).  And, words are one way I can engage with all these dynamics.  

I have noticed that my attempts at verbal-framing are pretty ephemeral.  Thoughts fly in often unannounced and then promptly proceed to evaporate (kind of like that cardinal).  If I don't jot something down as it happens, too often I can only remember that I thought about something that seemed significant, but not what it actually was.  And, so, my phone (or, should I say from a functional perspective, my recording device...which also happens to be a phone) is a handy and helpful way for me to capture conversation with myself about this engagement I have with life and the world.

Wait, hold up...I'm making a note, as I merge my technology with the sublime.

One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.

-- William Shakespeare

Without Shifting Blame

Instagram: drop-the-stones

To the degree to which a person can grow is directly proportionate to the amount of truth they can accept about themself without shifting blame upon someone else.

-- Unknown

Spiritually Healthy

Ever noticed...that the most spiritually healthy people are also among the most humble?

Touch the Suffering

God is the presence that spares us from nothing, even as God unexplainably sustains us in all things. God depends on us to protect ourselves and each other, to be nurturing, loving, protective people. When suffering is there, God depends on us to reach out and touch the suffering with love that it might dissolve in love.  

But here’s the thing: To be present to suffering and to touch the suffering with love, that it might dissolve in love, means to be grounded in the peace that is not dependent on the outcome of the effort because, regardless of how it turns out, God is unexplainably taking us to God, breath by breath, moment by moment.

-- James Finley

This requires some meditation, but it is so energized by the mystery of its invitation.

Its appeal to the adjustments we need regarding outcomes is quite compelling, especially when established on the foundation of peace.

Consider, after all, the inadequacies (if not violence) of its alternatives, many of which are not at all hard to spot around us right now.

Family Wealth

Substack: Rich Mean North of Richmond

3 Observations & A Question….

As a society, we seem to be less and less capable of recognizing that good and bad are invariably mixed together — which obviously leads to significant problems collectively (whichever way you’re pre-disposed to noticing) and a distorted of ourselves individually.

One of the conspicuous and unfortunate characteristics of modernity is our failure to recognize the impacts of manipulating so many of the ecosystems of the earth — especially the ways its profit-seeking consumption throws so many things out of natural balance.

If it’s not good for everyone (in other words, only some), then it’s not really good for anyone.

Doesn't real power come from the actual experience of something, as opposed to just the knowledge of something that can be experienced?

Prior 3 Observations & A Question….

Visual: Sprouts

Visual - "Sprouts"

Colorado Springs, CO

As Long As

People are very open-minded about new things — as long as they're exactly like the old ones.

-- Charles Kettering

Sponges, Con't

Another lingering reflection, on a recent Ever Noticed...:

Ever noticed…that most children in healthy environments are often sponges for everything that is going on around them?

So, what happens along the way that inhibits our ability, especially as adults, to continue to absorb reality? Why do we so often cut it off? The answer is probably not too difficult to identify. But, perhaps it is the ever-emergent posture of defensiveness or self protection that can actually be reconsidered. 

While often a bit more dense or complicated, it is too often pain that seems to engage mechanisms in our life which prevent us from continuing to be as receptive as we were when we were young children. The reality, unfortunately, is that there is a lot pain in life. But, deeper understanding (if not experience) no longer retains pain in the position as something that needs to primarily be avoided, as much as it something to be embraced, engaged with — to actually, in one way or another, cooperate with.  Such a disposition seems to put us on a much more healthy footing and allows the possibility of not only healing, but also growth. We can learn, albeit not easily (or often quickly), that pain often presents an opportunity to not only heal ourselves, but also the world.

But, the original thought here relates to the sponge-like nature of children.  One oft-associated characteristic of childhood is play.  We almost automatically assume that they do it, should, and need to.  It is pretty commonly accepted that there is even something developmental about it.

In other words, even as they play, they are absorbing things...all kinds of things, related to objects, dynamics, relationships.  They are taking in all kinds of information and learning from it.  Fun is a thing in and of itself, but it also enhances engagement and learning.  Play is one way to incorporate fun into the process.

...and this observation likely leads back into the question above — what happens to this phenomenon as we become adults?  Does is morph?  Or, does it largely just stop?  Play is often difficult for some adults.  Sometimes it is a physical thing.  But, more often, I suspect, it is about something else.

Either way, being sponge-like is a disposition we might be better off to retain.  After all, what in effect does it look like when we don't?  When we no longer allow new information to permeate us? When we are no longer able to relate to our environment (or to those in it — you know, when we only like to play with our friends, not yours, etc.)?  

...maybe it looks a lot like what we see all around us so much today — preponderance of fear and all we end up doing with that.

It is a happy talent to know how to play.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

LT: Rank

Rank does not confer privilege or give power. It imposes responsibility.

-- Peter Drucker

Enjoyment

I'm wondering...when did enjoyment become our highest standard? 

Somewhere along the way, of course. But, at some point, if we don't do things simply because they aren't enjoyable, we've ended up somewhere quite problematic.

What ever happened to good...as a standard? 

Don't we do things at times, simply because they are good to do?  Obviously, either can be misused (and has been), but sometimes I wonder if we've thrown the baby out with the bath-water on this one. 

I don't find some of my neighbors particularly enjoyable people.  They're not bad — just not enjoyable (...what irony if they would say the same thing about me?!?). But, that doesn't mean it's not still good to talk to them, to relate to them, to offer to help them when they need it. 

Why?

Because it's a good thing to do. 

Which begs the next question; what is good, in this context?

Deadly Mix

Jesus was not killed by atheism and anarchy.  He was brought down by law and order allied with religion, which is always a deadly mix.  Beware those who claim to know the mind of God and who are prepared to use force, if necessary, to make others conform.  Beware those who cannot tell God's will from their own.

-- Barbara Brown Taylor

Even some helpful history underscores this observation...continue here.

As does this description of women (like Taylor), who speak truth to power...continue here.

3 Observations & A Question….

Whether it’s the slavery of the past or the Wall Street of today, distance from the impacts seems to perpetuate the worst problems.

Being harmed by reality can make it hard to see reality accurately — and, amazingly, sometimes being healed from harm, can really clarify reality.

So many things that we fear will reduce us are actually pathways to what expands us; not unlike how so many things that we feel we need to hold onto to maximize ourselves actually make us less and less capable.

Nearly everything you are working at is creating an opportunity (of one kind or another, for one time or another) — so, what are you working at?

Prior 3 Observations & A Question….

On the Lighter Side: I,J,K

 On the Lighter Side:

What We Give

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

-- Winston Churchill

Limitations

Ever noticed…that there appears to be more people, that society considers on the margins, out and about...walking greenways or trails or doing whatever they can do because society has made it easier for them to do so?

This is something, it seems to me, that society should both be able and sensitive enough to help provide for its citizens, who struggle with things in life. It seems consistent with a Judeo-Christian ethic, at the very least. Some may view such things as a subsidy, or an enablement (whatever terms might be closer to somehow being a benefactor). But, perhaps a less conspicuous benefit, so to speak, is that seeing people with everything from simple inhibitions all the way through serious disabilities being able to participate and enjoy more of life might actually inform those who remain naïve to the truth about our own condition. Or, put this way, we can consider the possibility that whatever losses may still await us, there are many others who have not only endured what we might otherwise call setbacks of these kinds, but also turned their disposition towards what can still be done, in spite of certain limitations.

I suspect that there are very few human-beings, over the course of their existence, that don’t encounter some kind of disablement. Those that have not chosen (or been forced) to deal with even some of the harshness of those realities might have a more difficult time embracing the possibilities that remain, rather than simply the losses incurred.

I was walking on a greenway the other day and noticed a woman walking her dog. She obviously had some problems with her legs. As she got closer, I noticed that she had special shoes, which I’m guessing were part of what it took for her to be able to walk at all (not to mention to walk for leisure on the greenway with her dog). It struck me as I observed her go by that she quite possibly was still in some degree of discomfort, even as she was possibly enabled by different forms of assistance (like her shoes). The thought occurred to me that it was as much about her choice to try to participate in something that she wanted to be able to do as anything else. Perhaps she was thinking the whole time about many of the things I suspect would go through my mind (at least at one point or another) about how hard it was for her to walk or why she couldn’t more freely do it like everybody else on the trail (or a whole host of other forms of complaint). But my impression was, having seen her walking before, that her disposition was closer to something like, "I’m going to try to figure out a way to do what I can and what I want to do and not let my disability keep me from participating in and living life as much as possible".

What slows me down, too often, is pain. I can too easily become disheartened by the endurance pain sometimes requires (not saying this to minimize the impact of pain). I have to wonder whether I feel like the highest concern — pain — is too often the most acid-test of what it means to exist in healthy ways, to whatever degree I am able to do so. I suspect, though, that merely the observation of someone moving even within their limitations, creates new space for questions I might not have otherwise imagined. We all, in fact, have kinds of pain and limitations...continue here.

What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.

-- Brene Brown

Groundwork

The groundwork of all happiness is health.

-- Leigh Hunt

Keeping Track

I've noticed...that when I am keeping track of others, I'm not doing well.

...like when it’s easier for me to find inconsistencies in others, than in myself.

Something We Realize, Discover, Become Acquainted With

This is how I've come to understand hope.  It arrives when we realize that nothing taken from us can defeat us.  When we discover that the pain we've been running from was never going to destroy us.  When we become acquainted with the healing mysteries that are laid bare in our most difficult experiences.  When we discover that God is growing us up in to our shared calling as healers.

-- Jason Miller, When The World Breaks

3 Observations & A Question….

Solutions that are comprised of high proportions of fear and power are usually more destructive than anything else.

 

Where spirituality includes sensitivity to what might be true, religion too often seems to assume it has exclusively found it.

Grasping anything is an attempt to make it finite.

Is it just me, or does the political electorate seem increasingly focused on single-threaded versions of issues with candidates, rather than on candidates who can most affectively relate to and deal with multi-threaded issues (so little of it seems to embrace needs of the collective, rather than simply one person’s experience)?

Prior 3 Observations & A Question….

As Another School Year Begins...

What You Want In Life

It shows considerable wisdom to know what you want in life.

-- P.D. James

Not Helpful, Con't

Another lingering reflection, on a recent 3 Observations & A Question….:

There are so many things that we do to ourselves that just aren’t...helpful. 

Perhaps 'helpful' isn't the word you were expecting (maybe it was something more like, 'right' or...). If moralization is a shark, its remora is often resistance. But, when framed this way, what shifts? If we could switch the metaphor, maybe we might be more free to ask a different kind of question — this time from a lens of what isn't helpful for us.

So, if something isn't helpful, why do we still do it?

Many times, we do things along these lines because of something that we don't want to feel (or, that we do want to feel). The easy ones are often things we do — things we eat or drink or smoke or watch. But, we often we don't do things, too, that would really help us — it's just easier to veg out, after all we're SO tired because of.... And, we have so many forms of escape in our economy.

But, perhaps what is most unhelpful about such things (whatever they are), at least primarily, is what they draw us away from — from what we really need.  Even more, perhaps, is the distance such things tend to create from what we actually want. And, they often mess with our ability to distinguish between the two — functioning more like a distraction than something useful because, most of the time, unhelpful things are not actually enabling anything of particular use or help to us.

And, whatever form such things take for each of us, they often seem largely unable to truly satisfy us.

As we recognize unhelpful things for what they are (and aren't), perhaps when facing opportunities to do them, we can simply learn to re-orient ourselves with something like, "How does this help me?" or "How does this serve what I really want or need?"

I have found this to be the case with a number of things in my life, including some food I have perennially liked to consume. Over time I have learned to ask myself something like, "After this action (or this neglect), how will I feel later?" And, often, the unhelpful psychological, emotion, or spiritual things I do also impact my well-being. So, I'm thinking about areas of my life, where these dynamics exist. Where the frame of 'Is this helpful?' would help me.

There are so many forms that good information takes — so, we have the opportunity to discover which ones, in particular, help us.

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.

-- Laozi

Try THIS the Next Time You Have an Uncomfortable Conversation

"I need to have an uncomfortable conversation with you.  I am afraid of having it, because...."

-- Simon Sinek

Sponges

Ever noticed…that most children in healthy environments are often sponges for everything that is going on around them?

Transform vs Transmit

We each carry a certain amount of pain from our very birth. If that pain is not healed and transformed, it actually increases as we grow older, and we transmit it to people around us. We can become violent in our attitudes, gestures, words, and actions. 

Jesus became the crucified so we would stop crucifying. He refused to transmit his pain on to others. 

-- Richard Rohr

4 Observations (from Others)

Exclusion operates by the same rule of mutuality as welcome, for it harms both the excluded and the excluder.

-- Cole Arthur Riley

If we stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by what we are — we can all be freer.

-- Emma Watson

Beware of overconcern for money, or position, or glory. Someday you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. Then you will know how poor you are.

-- Rudyard Kipling

I’m not responsible for fixing all the world’s problems. I’m responsible for doing my part. 

-- Jess Morales Rocketto

Prior 4 Observations (from Others).

Your Game

'Poem for the week' -- "Your Game":

You talk
like this is the only game in town

You act
like this is the only game in town

it smells
like yours is the only game in town

it sounds
like other games...are just games

but yours is not

it tastes
like you are the only game in town

so, 

it feels
like it is just a game

that I don't  want to play anymore

Power of Empathy

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.

-- Meryl Streep

Creature, Con't

Another lingering reflection, on a recent I'm wondering…:

What comes to mind when we hear the term ‘creature’?

Maybe our minds most immediately go to something SCI-FI or perhaps to something in the depths. Whatever our definitions or working understandings may be, what characteristics of creature are involved...when applied to another human-being? 

For me, one nuance of the term creature is otherliness. In the context of another being — even a human-being — is there not nearly always some element of otherliness about anyone?  Something I don't really know (or can't really know)?

Or, if there isn’t, should there be?

Most, who have some healthy degree of sensitivity, would not automatically approach a new living thing they’ve encountered with the automatic intention to disturb it. Rather, there is often a certain dimension of respect for what it might be that we are actually seeing. What is this thing? What kind of a creature is it? What unique things about it should I be either aware of or sensitive to? Is it dangerous? Is it shy? Is it as curious about this encounter as perhaps I am? 

Whatever it is, we tend to respect something when we encounter a creature (of one kind or another), often perhaps through the use of things like space. For example, we don’t automatically just charge at it; and, we may not need to immediately run away from it either — we try to leave enough space to see what will happen.  Something happens in such situations that seems to be pretty close to a kind of respect for whatever it is that we are not familiar with about the other (creature). This is why the term otherliness seems, at least, partially descriptive of such situations.

When I run into seeing, say, an animal in the wild, more often than not I try to not immediately spook it off by any suddenness of action on my part.  This happened yesterday when I came across a deer.  I nearly walked right into as it stood there just looking at me.  And, then it simply went back to eating nearby leaves.

When a new baby is born, we often at one point or another wonder what kind of a person it will grow to be.  What will it be like?  What won't it like?  What things will happen in its life that will shape it?  How is it already made that will guide its natural response to things?  Until then though, and we know it better, we just don't know what exactly the person is, in this new little body.  It, too, is still a bit other to us.

Too often, otherliness (especially collectively) in general, seems to illicit all kinds of forms of...disrespect. If it's different, we tend be somewhere between suspicious and...just not liking it.  We want things to be...like us.  

I suspect, however, that a more, in fact, natural response to the uniqueness of any creature is actually…respect — a genuine curiosity about it that seeks to honor whatever it is, rather than simply tame it into likeness we prefer (ours).

Somehow along the way, we tend to unlearn this God-given response (perhaps because we get so tangled up seeking our own identity through all kinds of acceptance).  But, it might do well to reconsider how each living thing is like a creature of its own being (not unlike we are ourselves) and start with, if not maintain, a sense of respect, curiosity, and wonder.

LT: 7 types of self-care that increase your ability to be an inspiring leader

Business leaders often find themselves deeply invested in their organization’s success and growth, focusing on strategic planning, decision-making, and meeting objectives. Such pressures and responsibilities can be time- and energy-consuming, leaving little room for self-care.

Self-care is often viewed as a temporary fix or a quick solution to alleviate stress or exhaustion, which is seen as a selfish luxury or an indulgent act that takes away time and energy from work and other responsibilities. However, it is an integral part of overall success, and is intertwined with performance and leadership effectiveness. Here are seven types of self-care every busy leader should practice.  Continue here....

-- Ella Zhang