Judger-ing

The key problem with making judgments is that they imply universality. Since a judgment is universal, it exists independently of who is saying it, and this is one of the great attractions of judgment. Someone who judges doesn't have to take responsibility for the judgment or defend it; it simply exists. “It’s bad.” “It’s God’s will.” This makes it very difficult for the judger to even consider reviewing the situation being judged, or considering alternative understandings.  They assume that everyone else should have the same identical response, thus imposing the judge’s values on everyone else.

Judging sets in motion a recursive circular process that typically builds upon itself, and “snowballs,” becoming more and more widespread and intense as time goes on. The more I judge, the more I delete the details of my own experiencing. The less I am aware of my own experiencing, the more defensive and threatened I am likely to feel, so I will tend to rely on judgment even more.

This does not allow the generative listening, questioning and debate to occur required for creative and inventive problem solving. This reactive response keeps people in inert and restrictive ‘either/or’ ‘good/bad’ or ‘right/wrong’ paradigms that focus on making others conform to their point of view in ways that delete possibilities and options for creating a different perspective or alternate point of view.  Continue...

-- Janet Sernack

Habits Are Often Very Fragile

When an action is easy to do, you are more likely to do it regularly. Since new habits are often very fragile, the most meaningful changes you can make are not to your attitude, but to your environment.

Examine where the habit starts to break down. These are your “ah-screw-it” moments – specific sources of friction and the reasons why you tend to fail at committing to the behavior (where you say “Screw this, it’s not worth the effort!”).

A commonly found piece of advice on building habits is to start small.  ...continue.

-- Gregory Ciotti 

Don't Waste

Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.

I'm not sure who said this, but it seems helpful as an approach to the mysteries of life and work.  It seems to reflect a kind of trust that is needed to move, in spite of uncertainties that we often feel.  Something is gained (learning, etc.) in the doing of things, especially when under-girded with at sense of faith.  And, the things gained are not necessarily tied to success.

Not To Be Easy

So it's searchable:

My job is to not be easy on people.  My job is to make them better.

-- Steve Jobs

Everyone

Everyone has their own way of leading...and it needs to grow.

The Garden of the Saints

The Church is a very human organization but also the garden of God's grace. It is a place where great sanctity keeps blooming.  Saints are people who make the living Christ visible to us in a special way.  Some saints have given their lives in the service of Christ and his Church; others have spoken and written words that keep nurturing us; some have lived heroically in difficult situations; others have remained hidden in quiet lives of prayer and meditation; some were prophetic voices calling for renewal; others were spiritual strategists setting up large organizations or networks of people; some were healthy and strong; others were quite sick, and often anxious and insecure.

But all of them in their own ways lived in the Church as in a garden where they heard the voice calling them the Beloved and where they found the courage to make Jesus the center of their lives.'

-- Henri Nouwen

Thanks for sharing, Sue.

SL: What You’ll Find When You Stop Running

I was a member of a counter terrorist group. I wore dark camo, a helmet, night vision goggles, a bulletproof vest, and black face paint – the whole deal.

Running furiously through the woods, we eventually fanned out, finding separate paths– a strategy we’d obviously learned in training. As I was charging through the underbrush, I heard footsteps behind me. I had been singled out for pursuit. I could hear him running behind me; the leaves and sticks under his feet crunching as he followed.

Nearing exhaustion, I kept running as fast as I could, but he followed me relentlessly. With limited visibility, I tripped over a root, sprawling on the forest floor, my face in the dirt. In a moment, his footsteps stopped, and I realized that he had caught up with me.

I turned to look at the face of the person who I thought would surely kill me...continue.

-- Al Andrews

Dynastic Wealth

Melinda and I are strong believers that dynastic wealth is bad for both society and the children involved. We want our children to make their own way in the world. They’ll have all sorts of advantages, but it will be up to them to create their lives and careers.

-- Bill Gates

An interesting essay on wealth...continue here.

Meaning

Life is about meaning – the meaning that comes from authentic relationships with those we love, and from worthwhile work that we believe in.

-- Jennifer Dulski

Lasting Morale

Lasting morale comes from being part of an organization that succeeds by providing people the responsibility needed to contribute in meaningful ways.

-- John Routa

Phoney Separation

Managers who don’t lead are quite discouraging, but leaders who don’t manage don’t know what’s going on. It’s a phoney separation that people are making between the two.

-- Henry Mintzberg

Something Beyond Yourself

Stories are keys that release you out of yourself and into the wide freedom of caring about something beyond yourself.

-- Ann Voskamp

Happy Birthday, Tami!

We love you...and what you love.  More pics here.

What Can I Do?

What can I do?  Sometimes am I blinded by a lot of what I feel like I can't do, what I can't get to.  To maintain or discover a renewed vision, I can still ask myself to see what I can do.

I can recognize.

I can seek to understand.

I can offer compassion.

I can invite.

I can love...both by being firm, and by not keeping score.

And, I can remind myself of this; all that I hope for, and all that I want is given, not achieved.  That takes a lot of the pressure off, that often attends our fears.

It really helps to know, too, that the Master of all the things above is way ahead of me.  He's way better at it than me, He's very cognizant of what is needed, and He is actively pursuing His plan of goodness for us.

I can rest.  I can wait patiently.  I can be free.  ...that's what I can do.

Shorten It

Never Grow

Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't Coexist

Growth and comfort don’t coexist.

-- Ginni Rometty

You Do Not Teach By Teaching

You do not teach by teaching — you teach by loving. Be humble and courageous.

-- Glennon Doyle Melton

Pizza Delivery Driver Surprised by IWU Tip

Makenzie forwarded this article here....

CT: success has little to do with you

Imagine asking two successful people how they managed to accomplish what they have. The first says, “I’m just very gifted.” The second says, “I’ve just worked very hard.” Who sounds more smug?

Our meritocracy—in which people are valued based on ability alone—has conditioned us to consider it arrogant to attribute our accomplishments to God’s gracious gift. For some reason, gift talk sounds elitist. Conversely, we think we’re being humble when we say we worked hard for our success. The gospel polarity of grace versus works, though correctly understood in theory, is capsized in practice: “You succeeded? You must have worked harder than others,” we think. “You didn’t succeed? Try again.”

For it is by works you have succeeded, not by gifts, so that no one can boast. Logical as it may seem, it’s far from the gospel.  ...continue.

-- Andrew Wilson

The Ridge

Absolute Certainty

Nothing would remain stable in human society if we determined to believe only what can be held with absolute certainty.

-- St. Augustine

FMSC: 351 454 98000+ 268

Thanks to our friend Vicky who drew us all in to a great evening of work together at a local FMSC mobile-pack. We, and others (351 people), packed 454 boxes of food (containing over 98,000 meals)...enough to feed 268 people, like Nelson, for a year.

It was joy!

Like A Moron

...begins where we dare to enter into foreign, scary places. ...happens when we're willing to dare looking stupid; or, in the words of Wendell Berry in Citizenship Papers, to "take the risks of amateurism." Witness goes hand-in-hand with entering into foreign discussions that don't happen in the church. Otherwise, the church will die talking to itself.

When we are interested solely in winning the dialogue, we will stop entering into them because we don't feel we can win them. As my friend Dr. Dan Brunner has said: Christians don't know what to talk about when we aren't talking about conversion or theology. This is indicative of a church culture that deals with its ignorance by silence when it should deal with its ignorance through dialogue.

There is something profoundly scary about throwing yourself into a foreign field where you know nothing because you risk looking like a moron. We prefer safe conversations about faith because they make us look smart. But it is only in the process of looking like a moron that one can receive new wisdom and insight.  ...continue this helpful reading here.

-- A.J. Swoboda

Doesn't Mean

Just because the clouds are there doesn't mean that the stars aren't....

Many mornings lately I have walked to my work-out a bit awestruck by the stars.  When I return, they often are fading in their brilliance because of the light of the rising sun.  I often feel inspired by both phenomenon.

Some days, there are too many clouds to see the stars and I miss the inspiration I often now look forward to.

What I see and feel doesn't really change what is actually true.  It is good to know what is true, even when my feelings don't reinforce it...like knowing the stars are still there, even on a cloudy morning.

(thanks, Mark, for your seed-thought on this for me)

Deepest Gifts

Often out of our deepest pain, come our deepest gifts...

...both the ones we receive and the ones we have to give.

CT: Reconciliation

The net worth of the average black household in the United States is $6,314, compared with $110,500 for the average white household, according to 2011 census data...The black-white income gap is roughly 40 percent greater today than it was in 1967...Black men in their 20s without a high school diploma are more likely to be incarcerated today than employed...

All these constitute not a black problem or a white problem, but an American problem. When so much talent is underemployed and over-incarcerated, the entire country suffers.

...

Our Father in heaven, in you all people of the earth find their true identity. You made us all equally in your image, as your children, and therefore as each other’s brother and sisters.

Holy be your name and the honor you have bestowed on your united church, above our pride, allegiances, and all other identities and affiliations that tempt us to value ourselves above others and put you second.

-- Nicholas Kristoff

Continue reading about why we can still believe in reconciliation and pray here....

Miss Me Yet?

I’m not one to jump on anybody right now because I understand the problems there are, especially the problems when you’re dealing with 17- to 22-year-olds. If you’re losing, your tie is wrong, your socks are wrong, your world is wrong. If you’re winning, you can dress in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and you’re probably right.

-- Tom Izzo

Legacy of Honesty

No legacy is so rich as honesty.

-- Shakespeare

Don't Promote Self-Esteem?

In my counseling office, parents like to tell me that their child is so smart. I rarely hear how compassionate or loving that child is to others. I read so many articles on self-esteem and how important it is for everyone. Is it really that important to think highly of ourselves?

...having high self-esteem didn't improve grades or career achievement. It didn't even reduce alcohol usage. And it especially did not lower violence of any sort (Highly aggressive, violent people happen to think very highly of themselves, debunking the theory that people are aggressive to make up for lower self esteem).

I can't control my brain and how smart I am. Let's not tell our children how smart they are. Let's compliment how hard they have worked on something or how loving they are towards another person. These are all things they can control. Their brain power is not something they can control.

I don't care how highly you think of yourself. I like to focus on your integrity and compassion towards others. Now that will really make this world a better place. Your brain may assist you in that goal. Your liver will help you too. God is love and how much love and compassion you can give to another is what I like to promote.  More here....

-- Pamela Chambers

Strength vs Muscle

I am more interested in strength than I am in muscle.