Freedom

...the truth will set you free.

-- John 8:32

Go Out Into Darkness

And I said to the man
who stood at the gate of the year:
"Give me a light,
that I may tread safely into the unknown!"
And he replied, "Go out into the darkness
and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light
and safer than a known way."

So I went forth,
And finding the hand of God,
Trod gladly into the night.
He led me towards the hills
And the breaking of day in the lone east.
So heart be still!
What need our human life to know
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife of things,
Both high and low,
God hideth his intention.
God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision,
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature. In Him
All time hath full provision.
Then rest; until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes,
When, as the sweeter features
Of life's stern face we hail,
Fair beyond all surmise,
God's thought around His creatures
Our minds shall fill.

-- Marie Louise Haskins 1876 - 1957

Do you?

Do you ever wonder, at times, if something and what is happening to you...as you tumble on, sometimes lazily and sometimes in nearly catapulting form, into simply the next series of things that overtake your time and energy?  While busy with next obvious steps that are always in front of you, do you ever wonder where things are actually going, where they are taking you?  What it all is about?  Does it ever feel like just a dream of all things normal, yet strangely something else?

Yes, I do wonder such things.  And, today is one of those days...where it seems more like just the next thing happening for some inexplicable reason.  ...where all things big, and planned, and deeper, and purposeful about life are slightly and unattainably out-of-view and out-of-reach.

Perhaps, I noticed this sense of things today, because of this morning's slow, methodical late-winter dripping going on outside.

Aging & People

Somehow, you have to admire an aging man who moves towards people rather than away from them.

See Andy's story here.

Progress is Overrated

We have become so focused on progress, as if everything can be overcome.  We can get perpetually better, more able to solve problems...more able to win, with the benefits of progress.  Until we realize somewhere along this path, that progress isn't really what we thought it was.  It really doesn't overcome everything, or solve or change everything afterall.  We find that there are things that we just have to live with, learn to live with.

Perhaps, we should trade in our infatuation for progress for the things we learn along the way that help us to cope with what is not getting better; for the things that help us lean more into what is beside or within us than what is behind us.  Perhaps the good habits of life that instruct us how to be alive with what is are more helpful to us than getting beyond our problems and inconveniences.  Perhaps they lead us to the understanding of Who is with us in an ever-changing, unchanging world.

I think the saying goes, 'the more things change, the more they stay the same'.

Progress is illusive...and over-rated.

The Deadening of Flat

It seems to me that one of the great risks of the electronic age is that it flattens our world, our deeper sense of things.  Notice things like the emotion you feel when you move from the flat screens of our lives to the world of nature; sight, sound, smell, feeling -- things like coolness, wind, moisture, etc. You can almost taste the difference and we often feel a deep yearning for more of it.

...like the dawning of the morning sun over a ridge, the warmth and the perking up it creates for everything in its splash.
...like the sound of a waterfall that makes you 'have' to go find it.
...like fallen leaves crunching under your feet against the earth as you hike.
...like the brilliant white of a new blanket of snow, especially when the sun turns it's flakes to diamonds.

Something about an electronic life seems to deaden something within us that wants to be alive.

Satisfaction

Find satisfaction in Him who made you, and only then find satisfaction in yourself as a part of His creation.

-- St. Augustine

Gratitudes: Reflections on 25 Years of Marriage

As I reflect on a journey of 25 years now with my wife, a few things seem to stand out a bit from the fabric of it all.  I am grateful for the deepenings that these many gifts have brought:

Things about love / marriage:

• I had notions of marriage which were unrealistic, but they were tied to things that were important for me to recognize.
• I really had no real idea of what it means to love someone, in deeply sacrificial ways.
• I discovered that I wanted marriage (Tami, actually) to fill things inside of me, to take care of things inside of me that only God could take care of.
• I cannot maintain an image of myself (for myself or for my wife) that will engender (or require) love.  Love can only be offered, without requirement.
• My ability to love is not contingent upon my understanding of the love I receive.
• Being loved is not contingent upon my being viewed as right.
• I can love at nearly any cost and therefore I don't need to defend myself (in order to preserve my notion of the love I want or think I deserve).  
• Most of a life of love is facing a common direction and walking towards it together, not towards each other (though that, too, is allowed at times).
• Sex is what the 'knowers' said it was, a by-product of something else, and only occasionally a path towards it.  And, that it is not what those-who-don't-know say it is.
• Joining each other in the simplest of things send some of the most powerful messages to each other -- presence (as some have called it).
• There had to be space for things to go on that had nothing to do with me...things that Tami was working through, that I was threatened by, things that threatened my sense of the ideals I was seeking.
• There are few things more powerful than forgiveness.
• Things take time, in order to be seen clearly.
• We have only just begun to live, even as the things that seemed like 'life' wither away.

Things about myself:

• Many of my needs / desires were highly cloaked (mostly from myself, but also from others).
• I really needed Tami to come through for me when in fact she really didn't.
• Not nearly as much was about me as I assumed (and therefore that I am in even less control of anything than I realized, less able to make anything good happen than I suspected).
• I am by nature completely consumed with myself.  That to be unconsumed requires kinds of death to myself.
• It took a desperation of myself to free my grip on my expectations of my wife.
• Desire cannot be suppressed or managed.
• Anger is an important signal of something.  That it calls me towards something.
• I never thought I was good enough and that I, in fact, am not, but that is more OK than I thought it was.
• 'No' is OK, and so is the disappointment of others.
• I must accept my design, not try to design myself.
• Pursuing God and how and what He has made me for (strength) frees up my wife to allow God to pursue her -- she doesn't have to operate from the pressure to take care of me...which will lead to a natural and healthy way of contributing to my care.

Things about friendship / community:

• Willingness for exposure to community was (is) a critical path towards life for me
• What deep and spiritual friendship is -- that words are really important and that presence is even more important
• Feeling abandoned and being abandoned are two different things -- I have never been abandoned
• Staying with community has been a life-line to learning these things about my marriage, myself, Tami, God, etc.

Things about Tami:

• I am deeply loved by my wife, in the ways that she is capable of loving me.  That to require something different, to require different ways of loving me is a violation of something within her.
• Genuine wonder about my wife really frees me up from evaluating my relationship based on what I get out of it.
• Tami has a deep and profound beauty that is uniquely constructed for her and for her to offer to her world
• I have come to love the way she gives herself away
• I can join that beauty and seek ways to breath life into it
• She is courageous to look at herself as the Spirit prompts her
• I am deeply grateful for Tami's integrity and the desire within her to follow God

Things about God:

• I can trust God (especially over longer periods of time that I would have guessed) to allow her, to teach her how to love me the way I need to be loved (as opposed to the way I want to be loved). -- we often fought about this early on
• I can fully trust what God is up to in my wife, even when I don't recognize what it is.
• It took the likely destruction of normal and good things in life to help me see past my expectations out of life.
• Whatever I thought I was losing, I was gaining far more
• I must fight with God more than I fight with my wife.  And, when I am fighting with her more than Him, something is wrong.
• Grieving needs to be among my greater muscles.
• Being willing to grieve was more important than trying to resolve something.
• God is very firm, gentle (even when harsh), but very firm and that this is a good thing, something that I can rely on, relax in.  
• I can wait for God, in me, in my wife, in my kids.  
• As my notions of Him got sorted out, He was way ahead of me and that I need to trust Him almost all the time with almost everything.
• God uses an awful lot of the normal experiences of life to teach us what we really need to know.
• I have no idea how much goodness God has ready for me and that, therefore, it is rather silly to try to broker for it.  That the world has no idea about this kind of goodness.

If there is one word that captures how I reflect on the last 25 years, it would be 'gratitude'.  Gratitude for Tami, gratitude for my spiritual friendship and community, gratitude to God...not only for the abyss' that He preserved me through, but for the joy and beauty and life He has ended up giving me...and giving us together.

Voice Can Come From Pain

"The first time I heard Karin's voice, I knew there was something special there. I loved the fact that her voice came from the place where her pain lived."

-- Linford Detweiler, Interview with host Melissa Block, "All Things Considered"

Glorious New Creation

The Glorious New Creation
For I am about to create new heavens and a new earth; the former things shall not be remembered or come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I am creating; for...read more (it gets even better!).

-- Isaiah 65:17-25

Truth is Bigger

I live with the understanding that truth is bigger than any religion and the world is Gods and everything in it....

-- Rob Bell

Over the Rhine: The Long Surrender

Like every Over the Rhine album, the lyrics plumb the mysteries of love, divine and human, not so much blurring the boundaries as acknowledging that they are inseparable and integrally related. “Undamned” finds Bergquist trading lines with alt-country legend Williams, the verses a confessional catalogue of misplaced passion and rueful regret, but suffused with the knowledge that there is still time to fall back on a love that endures.

Read the rest of the review here...

-- Andy Whitman

Growth and Suffering

I once was part of a survey on spiritual formation. Thousands of people were asked when they grew most spiritually, and what contributed to their growth. The number one contributor to spiritual growth was not transformational teaching. It was not being in a small group. It was not reading deep books. It was not energetic worship experiences. It was not finding meaningful ways to serve. It was suffering. People said they grew more during seasons of loss, pain, and crisis than they did at any other time.

-- John Ortberg

Slow

I've noticed that I'm running a lot. Not the fitness kind (though I am doing a bit of that still, too), but the kind where I move quickly from point A to point B on a regular basis. For example, on my way home from work yesterday, I noticed I was running home. Why was I running? I thought to myself that I just need to walk, but I had to force myself to do it.  Just walk, to go...slow.

Something is a-foot in the sense of urgency I regularly feel. Something that I suspect isn't good. I wonder if I feel too important to something, like I 'need' to get to the next place...like I'm needed at the next place.  How could I even be that important, much less think that I am?  

I'm guessing I am being reminded of the value of 'slow', of pausing, of waiting, of not hurrying to the next thing that needs to be done. I think I'm missing something important in the surprising habit of mine that I've stumbled upon.

Roll Away Your Stone - Mumford & Sons

Roll away your stone I will roll away mine
Together we can see what we will find
Don't leave me alone at this time
For I'm afraid of what I will discover inside

You told me that I would find a home
Within the fragile substance of my soul
And I have filled this void with things unreal
And all the while my character it steals

-- "Roll Away Your Stone", Mumford & Sons

Will of God

The will of God is never exactly what you expect it to be. It may seem to be much worse, but in the end it's going to be a lot better and a lot bigger.

-- Elisabeth Elliot

Blind

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is stoned to death.

-- Joan D. Vinge

History

History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.

-- Edward Gibbon

This certainly seems to be the case; from the human eye, a seemingly quite accurate indictment.  And, the human eye is often not well-trained in seeing beyond itself.  I think, while all of this is going on, that there is another, deeper back-story.  How about you?

Fleet Foxes Announce New Album Details

...and a pre-release video!

New U2 Album in May 2011 Says German Amazon

Humbled

Everyone will be humbled sooner or later.  Better sooner than later.

...nobody gets away with everything for long.

The Way We Look At Struggle

God never promises to remove us from our struggles. He does promise, however, to change the way we look at them.

-- Max Lucado

Notice where Job got to and where he ended up. Suffering changed his point-of-view at least twice...like it does to us. I'm glad for where we, too, will end up.

The King's Speech

 







What a marvel study in the dynamics of our humanity...love, family, history, expectations, fear, friendship, wisdom, courage, voice. I would highly recommend this one to you!

Men Grow Silent - Cont.

Not exclusive to men, we all want to speak (which explains why this kind of silence is so unnatural...and so conspicuous).  I suspect we all want to speak because we all want to be heard.  And, we all want to be heard because we all want to be known.

...because we all question our worth and want others to validate it.  Which takes us back to the first half of the story.

So, if even a decently accurate description of the 'way things are', the obvious thing to lean towards is the asking of what can be done about this.  What is the answer to this 'unnatural and conspicuous' destination?

Men Grow Silent

It is often reported that men grow silent.  For example, among other times, men have the reputation of going silent when they're mad.  I suppose this cannot be disputed from even casual observation.

Does anyone ever ask why?  ...the reason I ask is, in fact, one of the reasons.  Men often feel they don't want to be heard, based on responses to their efforts to 'speak' (is that why they aren't often asked, 'Why?').  So it becomes quite natural to simply 'be quiet'.

I think it worth considering why men often feel like they don't want to be heard.  I have sensed this within myself at times.  Often it is accompanied by an anger...at the notion of not being worth being heard.  Of course, it would be wise not to reach this conclusion.  But, nonetheless, the feedback, intended or not, seems to be quite tempting along the lines of, "I don't want to hear your side of the story, just listen to mine...and shut up."

Hmmm, I wonder why men grow silent....

(And, for any female readers out there, I'm not putting this all at the feet of the women in mens' lives...though men may feel it there, I think men feel this in a lot of places in their relationships).

...more to follow on this one; it seems wrong to leave it only here...as this is only half the story.  The sad thing is, both halves (of the story) seem too often to be skipped.

Iron & Wine's New Album - Kiss Each Other Clean

Some of you may appreciate this review of Iron & Wine's new album.

Flowering Hearts

I read them slow, pondering both the meaning and the medium.  What a joy to peek into another person's heart when it blossoms like a flower!  I feel like a kid with a flashlight under the covers, turning each page with anticipation.

They are freshly passed to me from a dear friend for review.  It makes me wonder who else's pages I'm rushing past.

When and How - Cont.

So why does it seem to work this way?  Why does it take suffering for us to be drawn to God?  I’ve said to myself (more than once), that “It’s not personal, until it’s personal.”  Another way to say it, might be, “He’s not personal until He’s become ‘personal’ with us, to us.”

Perhaps we just don't need Him, until we see that we need something more than ourselves. ...perhaps suffering, more than anything else, gets us to see...our need.

When and How

We rarely know when and how God will draw someone to Himself.  But what we do know is that many times (more often than not?), he seems to do this work through the suffering in our lives.

Wrong Conclusion

We are almost always headed towards a wrong conclusion when we are not living community. ...not just in community, but living in communion with others.

In other words, isolation more often than not leads us away from the truth.

Dreams

"...just talking about our dreams starts to move us towards them. He noticed that employees were being transformed before his very eyes. They still had all the problems they'd had just a few short months ago, but now they had hope."

-- The Dream Manager, pg 60

How does hope work in your life? ...what have you noticed about yourself when you have it and when you don't? In the long run? In the short run?

Losing & Gaining

The soul renounced shall abide in the boundlessness of God's life. This is liberty, this is prosperity. The more we lose, the more we gain.

-- Watchman Nee

I love the terminology of 'other' times. It helps me refine my thinking behind our current terminology. It also exposes different eras of emphasis, which I find very valuable as I test what is emphasized in 'my' time.

We've been talking about freedom in high-school Sunday School class...as part of our on-going discussion on the under-pinnings of our Creed. Distinguishing things is an important exercise. For example, distinguishing the working definition of freedom in our culture versus how freedom is described in the scriptures. So Nee's observation that renouncing the soul is liberty, gives me good opportunity for pause and contemplation. His follow-up with losing and gaining is helpful candle-light to what he is getting at...regarding true freedom and true prosperity.

The Company

Contrary to unwritten management theory and popular practice, people do not exist for the company.  The company exists for the people.  When a company forgets that it exists for people, it quickly goes out of business.  Our employees are our first customers, and our most influential customers.

-- Matthew Kelly, The Dream Manager

Be Yourself - Not an excuse, an aspiration

I thought this one was interesting, particularly as a counter-point to the often-used dumb-downer of excusing everything in our lives.  Perhaps being ourselves is a greater aspiration than we have allowed ourselves to imagine.

So, we can stop trying to be like someone else and just be...who we are.

Creatures of Habit - Cont.

Why would this be?  Why do we stay so close to our routines?

I suspect we are highly oriented to the familiar. Things that are familiar to us are just easier to stick with. They appeal to many of our sensibilities as human beings.

Creatures of Habit

Perhaps this late discovery simply underscores the point -- that human-beings seem to be highly-tuned creatures of habit.   Whether intentionally or not, we work long and hard at the habits we develop.  No wonder change is rarely quick.

Money - Revisited

Regarding the post on money below, I suspect I may be floating back through this topic from time to time.

Today, for example, I noticed that the 'distance' I referred to there may stem more from what I can do with money when I have it.  For example, when I don't have it, my sense of my need remains un-medicated.  I am more aware of it.  And, when I am more aware of my need, my sense of dependence on God heightens.

I wonder if, actually it might be better to say 'how', I use money to medicate (dare I say, anethesize?) my sense of need.  I often don't even recognize that this is what I am doing (note the video referenced in this post, especially at about 15.25) for the substantial ways I join my culture in doing this.  So perhaps the distance I feel is really a result of the opportunity offered to me by money to get away from the feeling my 'need' creates in me.  Therefore, my turn to God in my need lessens.  ...no wonder my observation that often when I have money, I feel more distance with God.

The Power of Vulnerability

Watch this powerful video on 'vulnerability'.  I think vulnerability leads us to a place unknown to us...one where the outcome feels too unpredictable and is why, therefore, we avoid it.  As Brene Brown so candidly demonstrates, letting ourselves be seen deeply is simply terrifying; we only need to look around to see the many ways we are committed to avoiding this unfamiliar place.  

She talks earlier about our worth.  I think she is trying to get at something related to value -- something like, we are valuable.  She ends, unfortunately in my view, with the notion that we just need to believe that we are enough and that will take care of it.  But something is lacking:

It is impossible for a person not to be puffed up by his good works unless he has first been deflated and destroyed by suffering and evil to the point that he knows that he is worthless and that his works are not his but Gods.

-- Martin Luther

I think we know we are not enough, but the problem is that we are quite active about not acknowledging this.  Perhaps, doing so -- being vulnerable -- is the surprising, wonderful path to the One who is enough for us...more than enough...and to the One who helps us identify our truth worth (versus the one Luther is talking about above).  By avoiding our vulnerability, however, we are endlessly avoiding Him.

Not necessarily related (but not necessarily not-related either):

"To be whole, let yourself break.
To be straight, let yourself bend.
To be full, let yourself be empty.
To be new, let yourself wear out.
To have everything, give everything up.

Knowing others is a kind of knowledge;
knowing yourself is wisdom.
Conquering others requires strength;
conquering yourself is true power.
To realize that you have enough is true wealth.
Pushing ahead may succeed,
but staying put brings endurance.
Die without perishing, and find the eternal.

To know that you do not know is strength.
Not knowing that you do not know is a sickness.
The cure begins with the recognition of the sickness.

Knowing what is permanent: enlightenment.
Not knowing what is permanent: disaster.
Knowing what is permanent opens the mind.
Open mind, open heart.
Open heart, magnanimity."

-- Tao Teh Ching

Texting

...not so innocent an activity.

Compassion

Compassion means that if I see my friend and my enemy in equal need, I shall help both equally

-- Mechtild of Magdeburg

Finally?

 

Money

I have noticed over time that the more money I have, the more distance I feel with God.  Or, from the opposite angle, the less I have of it, the closer I feel to God.

What Can We Assume

We can safely assume that our 'problem' is often not what we think it is (or, what we feel it is).

And, we should assume that the 'problem' we think (or feel) it is ... is often the doorway to some place really important to go (whether it turns out to be a 'problem' or not).  So, we should walk towards it...especially together.

Gulp of Sadness

Sometimes we gulp when we get more in our mouth than we expected. I had a gulp of sadness today...with my daughter heading back to college.

-- Dad

Father, I want right now what is coming to me.

'Father, I want right now what's coming to me.'

-- Luke 15:12

As our pastor spoke on this passage recently, I found myself staring at these words from The Message.  What a powerful translation of the more commonly read version, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’

'I want right now what is coming to me.'  A couple of things struck me as my mind meandered over what I was reading.  I want stuff, AND I want it right now.  This is happening less and less for me, but I still recognize a strong legacy of it from earlier days in my life.  It is interesting that when we are younger, we have our whole life ahead of us ... and yet we still want things 'right now'.  We don't want to wait.  As we age, we have much less yet ahead of us ... and we seem, perhaps in some form of maturity, to recognize more of our need to wait.  How does that work?  What is going on in us when we are younger?  What is going on in us as we age (and, hopefully, mature)?  It is that we come to realize that most of what we really want won't really come now?  Is it that things we think we want (which do come 'now') don't typically satisfy us?  Perhaps it takes a 'few round-and-round we go' in life to start to see this truth.  The difference between what we want and what we need.  And perhaps the hidden (and greater) truth is that we discover the things that can truly satisfy us are not in the things we thought they were and that they are largely 'coming', but often not yet here.  So a life-long transfer is underway, one which we don't often recognize until we are well through it.  A transfer of a demand for satisfaction now to a longing for a different kind of satisfaction, that we somehow become more willing to wait for. 

The other thing that surprisingly stuck out to me is that the younger brother used the words, 'I want ... what is coming to me'.  He had an innate sense that something would be given to him, even as he asked for it in the moment.  The older brother knew what 'was coming' as well and apparently, at least at the time, chose to stay where we was in order to get it.  He, too, knew something of 'what was coming' to him.  I have never noticed these words of the younger brother, perhaps because of the often translated terms like estate or inheritance and the physicality of those descriptions.  What struck me in this interpretation of the phrasing was that something much broader than the inheritance of physical things was revealed.  He wanted 'what was coming'.  He thought he knew something of what that was, largely due I suspect to his immaturity.  But in one sense, what he really wanted was to 'own the farm'.  He knew, in fact, that he would someday.  So why did he want it now, if he already knew he would be getting it? 

Because, from time to time I recognize this spirit within myself,  I think he wanted the privileges of this ownership and he didn't want to have to wait for it.  This likely reveals that he thought he knew what such privileges (and the power to have them) would provide for him ... rather than what such privileges are really there for.  He wanted the rights and benefits of his perception of the power and wealth that ownership would provide.  We all want this don't we?  I have wanted it.  At times, I still do.  But what I often have not realized is that such aspirations were quite self-serving and rarely designed for the good of anyone else but me.  This is often terribly difficult to decipher in the moment.  But it is striking how clear it can become in retrospect. 

The father is way ahead of his sons on this, just as God is way ahead of us on what is good for us when we are young and as we get older.  When I'm younger, I'm not trusting my father that much.  I'm eager to prove myself and to get whatever benefits I might achieve from it.  When I'm older, I'm less impressed with my own potential, and much more aware of what all I need to be protected from, what all I need to learn, how dependent I am on so many things outside of myself, how much of anything I ever am able to enjoy is really provided to me, not unlike an estate.  And the inheritance I am receiving as I learn to wait for the deeper things will allow me to truly be in a position to function as an owner, one who provides goodness to others ... most largely through the goodness I have learned to recognize, that I have received from my Father.

I want to live more out of what is coming to me ... and to learn to wait for it and to stop asking for it now, knowing that the natural order of things is being used by God to make me able truly understand what power and privileges are really about ... the opportunity to serve others, in God's good name.

In other words, I want my version of Luke 15:12 to be something like:

'Father, I want what's coming to me.  Whatever that ends up being.  I am willing to wait for it, by trusting you in the work you have given me to do today.'

Pain's Instruction

Pain is a faithful instructor.  Or, from the other end of things, I seem to learn more from him (pain) than I do from other things.

Lust

Lust provides opportunity to learn to turn to God for the needs driving what it seems lust will satisfy.

I wish I knew this as a younger man, so that I could have 'learned' sooner where and how to turn with the forces behind what was so strongly represented in lust.

Should God be Understood?

If God were small enough to be understood, He would not be big enough to be worshiped.

-- Evelyn Underhill

The Humblest Way We Know How

"Heavenly Father, we come before thee, knee bent and body bowed, in the humblest way that we know how."

-- Denzel Washington's favorite prayer

2011 - Desires

Once you start a list like this, it's hard to stop...our desire is so much, for so many things.

Among those at the top of my list (at least today) are:

• Less of me, More of Him ... in particular, less self-preservation and more freedom to move out of He is doing
• To move deeper into relationships with others, my wife, my kids, my friends, the kids at church
• To pray more for others, to judge them less
• To become fascinated with one more thing about this world and the Creator of it
• And, yes, to see Michigan get back on track in football

Do Not Be Anxious

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

-- Matthew 6:31-34

Father's Good Pleasure to Give

Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

-- Luke 12:32

A question might be, what is the kingdom?  ...that He wants to give versus the one that we would like to have.

Read more...

Scientific Revolutions

The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos.

-- Stephen Jay Gould

Christmas Prayer

Almighty God, who came to us long ago in the birth of Jesus, come again.
Be born in us anew, O Savior and Light of the World. By the power of your Holy Spirit, break through the darkness of our worlds, the darkness of our own hearts, to frighten and free us.

Rouse us. Stir up our hearts this Christmas season. Let heaven intrude
upon our earthly affairs to rip our attention from the darkness of this world
to your Light of Life. Amen.

-- Various sources

Becoming

God became what we are so that we could become what He is.

-- Scot McKnight

How We See Things

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.

-- Anaïs Nin

Humility of Life

Among other things, life is designed to humble us.  It repeatedly offers us this opportunity.  It seems to be more of a matter of how long we choose to resist these opportunities.  But God is patient and seems willing to let life do this work in us.  And, many times it does its work…it humbles us, sooner or later.  Of course, we can choose to fight these things (Him) all the way to the end, whether we know it is Him we are resisting or not. 

I am grateful for news of someone that appears to have yielded to this reality by letting go of her stubbornness and choosing to release some of her pain and to stop using life to make a point about how she has been wronged.  In her mid-50s, the opportunity for humility seems to have prevailed and, at least in part, it appears she has chosen it.  God is not worried about time, about how long such choices seem to take, and perhaps we should be less so as well…in others lives and in our own.

God simply offers us life, each day.  And, each day, we have the opportunity to simply choose Him, to not resist Him, to turn to Him with all that we know and with all that we don’t know.  It seems this is true in almost every area of our lives; we have the opportunity each day to simply choose to start, repentantly, to begin again.  Whether this be with our relationships, our job, our family, our choices in eating, exercise, leisure, worship, etc. we simply have the opportunity to choose each day…to carry all of our reasons not to do something, not to trust, to hold grudges, to complain to justify, or to choose to submit, to be humble, to let go, to turn to God, to repent of what we need to, to ask for help and wait for his provision.  It takes us a while to see how really simple this is, but when we do…we are profoundly relieved and free…to love the way we want to, in the way God wants us to.

Perhaps this is why Jesus instructed us to simply pray each day, that God would provide us what we need to live.  Perhaps this is why it is repeated throughout the scriptures that we always have TODAY…to not harden our hearts and turn to the God, who loves us.   Perhaps it is in this simple, daily, humble living through which God is making all things new.http://familywilliamson.blogspot.com/2010/01/love-ispatient.html

Light

...because light always follows it...and overwhelms it.

Darkness

Learn to not fear darkness.

Extremism

A few nights ago, twelve friends and I attended the lighting of the Portland Christmas tree in Pioneer Square. My friends had all flown in for Thanksgiving, and we decided to join ten-thousand others who walked from all over downtown for the event. What we didn’t know is the spot where we squeezed into the crowd was 25 feet from a van filled with what a young man believed were six, fifty-gallon barrels of explosive material.  Read on...

Christian extremism is willing to die for people, not demonize them to validate their belittlement and oppression.

-- Donald Miller


This Miller post caught my eye.  I think Miller's discussion is helpful and worth considering, especially in light of the media-soup we swim in these days.

I find myself wondering, though, about the 'enemy' as he describes it. I wonder if extremism is still a front for something else, something closer to the real enemy. What do you think the enemy is?

I suspect it is something inside of us (inside me), rather than something out there. ...something like a worship of self, an indulgence of self, a protection of self, a determined defense of our comfort, of our egos, a carelessness about our relationships with others...often reflected in how we think (talk?) about 'others'. In other words, something is fuel for extremism.  What do you think the enemy is?

Unexpected Friendliness

An unexpected friendliness, creates space for wonder. Like the wonder of 'has something changed for that person?' or 'have I missed something somewhere along the way?'

Funny how 'wondering' can often lead to a kind of joy, if we let it do its work.

First December Snow

I felt the sound of jingle today, as our first December snow glinted across my face. It warmed me from the inside, even as my chilled skin stiffened its resistance.

Keeping Believing Nimble

We both believe, and disbelieve a hundred times an Hour, which keep Believing nimble.

-- Emily Dickenson

Thankfulness

I have noticed...that my thankfulness is proportional to my awareness of need.

I am more thankful today, than usual. ...I think my awareness is higher.

Strength in Being Still

There is a real strength in being still.

It requires a good understanding of where our real strength is found.

Parents: On Behalf of the Diety

It is a serious mistake to think that when questions arise and doubts and rebellions are expressed, the correct strategy is an intensified publicity campaign...no parent is required to mount an advertising campaign on behalf of the Deity.

-- Eugene Peterson

Twice as well

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.

-- Charlotte Whitton

...a perfectly funny sexist comment.

Insecurities

The goal cannot be to try not to live out of our insecurities.  This is both endless and hopeless.

The goal is to learn what we are secure in and to live out of that.

So, What is Real?

Very often when I leave a place of worship, the first impression I have of
the so-called 'outside world' is how small it is -- how puny its politics,
paltry its appetites, squint-eyed its interests.  I have just spent an hour
or so with friends reorienting myself in the realities of the world -- the
huge sweep of salvation and the minute particularities of holiness -- and I
blink my eyes in disbelief that so many are willing to live in such reduced
and cramped conditions.  But after a few hours or days, I find myself
getting used to it and going along with its assumptions.  And then some
pastor or priest calls me back to reality with 'Let us worship God', and I
get it straight again, see it whole.

Every call to worship is a call into the Real World.  You'd think that by
this time in my life I wouldn't need to be called anymore.  But I do.  I
encounter such constant and widespread lying about reality each day and meet with such skilled and systematic distortion of the truth that I'm always in danger of losing my grip on reality.  The reality, of course, is that God is sovereign and Christ is savior.  The reality is that prayer is my mother tongue and the Eurcharist my basic food.  The reality is that baptism , not Myers-Briggs, defines who I am."

-- Eugene Peterson

Squeezing Our Nuts

I was recently troubled to learn I think like a squirrel.

A friend told me a story a while back about a squirrel he saw on the deck of his condo. He put a couple nuts out one day, and the squirrel came back the next day looking for more nuts. So he opened his sliding door, and placed a nut just inside. The squirrel studied the distance he’d have to run to get in and out of the house, then took the chance, grabbed the nut and escaped back to his tree. Each day my friend would bring the squirrel further inside the house, until, after a few weeks, he could feed the squirrel from his hand. Awesome story. Except for what happened next.

My friend decided to stop feeding the squirrel. And the squirrel...  Read on ...

-- Donald Miller

Favor

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

-- Mark Twain

Shedding Some Should

Over the last few years I have realized a 'shedding of should' and a 'wakening of want'.  If you had asked me a while back questions about what I wanted to do, I would be almost completely stopped in an unanswerable state.  I couldn't answer, in part, because I didn't seem to know.  I think I did know, but I had become so unpracticed at allowing that to be a factor in determining what I did that I didn't recognize its role in my life.  I lived primarily out of 'should'.  'What should I do?' felt like a much more answerable and important question.  I might have said something like, 'it doesn't matter what I want to do...it's what I should do that matters'.

Today, after years in the vice of 'should', I feel strangely more free from it...noting that I live much more now out of what I want to do.  I suspect this, at least in part, is due to more of an alignment between my ultimate desires to follow God and my daily ability to choose the ways to do that through the desires that He has given me.  I don't detect a conflict between should and want, as much as I did.  In some ways the two have strangely merged, often undetectibly, but from a view point-a and point-b perspective, quite obviously.

I am grateful for the relief from should and for the freedom of want.  I am glad to just be me (well, more of the time anyway).

Another Great Day at the Big House

For more great pics, click here...

Aging

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

-- Doug Larson

Seeing and Beleving

I tend to agree with the reverse version of the statement:

"I'll believe it, when I see it."

Many things for me have been more like:

"I'll see it, when I believe it."

Thief of Joy

Comparison is the thief of joy.

-- OtR

God is permitting this...

Mother Teresa would say to me in difficult times, "Don't give in your
feelings. God is permitting this." This really taught me that the best and
the worst in life would pass and if I will learn myself to accept the cross,
to be quiet, humble and hopeful, that all will pass.

She knew that everyone can, with God's grace, reach holiness, not in spite
of the mystery of suffering that accompanies every human life, but through it.

Fall 2010

 

Nothing like a walk in the woods this time of year -- gets me every time.

The One who is leading

Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.

-- Jim Elliot

Nature's Flagrant Dance

The skies and leaves of Winona were caught flagrantly dancing together this morning -- a still and silent one, but dancing nonetheless with joy-filled flair and the most vibrant of colors.

Whether to or not

No matter how disguised, any temptation is a question of whether to trust God or not.

Flock of Birds

I was driving recently down a country road and noticed a great swirling mass of birds up ahead.  It swung and dove, left and right.  Darting, but in a lumbering sort of way, like a big blanket being swung around the sky.  As I watched, I got thinking and wondering about what was happening, about the individual birds in it. Occasionally, it looked liked there were a few stragglers.  At times, the stragglers seemed to attract a section of birds to break off in a new direction, only to swoop back to the larger pack within seconds.  This made me wonder about the birds at the front, what were they doing, thinking?  Did they know they were leading anything?  It looked like they were.  If they were, were the others following?  Or, were they all just flying, in some seemingly cosmic randomness that actually looked planned?  And, what about those stragglers, did they know they were...straggling?

I'm guessing that none of them really 'thought' about what they were doing.  They were just doing it, out of some great instinctiveness, some design that was built into their birdness, individually and togetherly.  I'm guessing the greater percentage of the birds weren't wishing they could lead the flock, nor that the lead birds were wishing the stragglers would do a better job of keeping up.  So, I returned to just the marvel of what I was seeing...a great mass of birds, doing their thing as they headed somewhere, designed for them to go.

And I wondered how much we are like a flock of birds.  No more in control of our destination or what happens to us than those birds us are, despite what we think of ourselves.  Perhaps we could learn from them and just continue to move together wherever we are going, which God only knows.  Moving, not comparing ourselves to the 'leaders', not judging those behind us, just flying...together...a bunch of black dots in motion, silhouetted against the sky in a form of beauty that captures someone's earthly imagination from time to time, teaching the observer to consider Something he or she might not have noticed about this life and the wonder of it.

My Brother, Joy, and Our Family Tree

Over the years, I've discovered that I have a brother named Joy.  As I've become familiar with Joy, I also noticed that he apparently has a twin...whose name is Longing.

Later I met Longing's siblings, Temptation and Purity.  Temptation, like Cain, always tries to kill Longing, while Purity, who loves Longing, introduces me to more members of our family, who sprout like many branches into a great family tree.  Joy seems to know all about the roots of our family and loves to lead the way, encouraging Purity because he knows how big, fulfilling, and wonderful Longing can lead to in our real family life together.

Because of Joy and Longing, I now love my family, all of you, like my Father. I'm guessing you know his name by now, too - Love.

Like me, I'm guessing some of you saw these siblings again as well last night, or perhaps today, in the aftermath of celebration. Joy and Longing seem to hang out together, a lot of the time. Longing (whose nickname is sometimes, Ache) seems to be welcoming me to wait for the rest of family to grow, so we can all go home together some day.

Where To

We must know where to doubt, where to feel certain, where to submit.

-- Blaise Pascal

Treat people...

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and help them become what they're capable of being.

-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

More or less, Less is More

It seems to me that less is more; the less we have the more we are able to understand.  The more we have, the less we are able to understand.

I've noticed the pattern of this in my own life over the years.  I may think I know more, but I seem to understand less.  I suspect it is partly due to the direction of effort.  When I have more, there is more to take care of...and less time.  Time seems to allow more opportunity to be in touch with something I need for life.  The more effort I put into maintaining things, the more my sense of dependence decreases.

In other words, less means more dependence for me and more means less dependence (or, a sense of it).

What does the LORD give?

The LORD gives strength to his people;
     the LORD blesses his people with peace.

-- Psalm 29:11

Humanity

There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher.

-- Victor Hugo

Climbing...for truth, for freedom

I was recently discussing with a friend some areas of life that have changed for me over the years and the discovery that has ensued as I have allowed myself more freedom to pursue things that appeared, on the front side, to be ‘out of my reach’. Several years ago now, I and my son had the opportunity to climb Pike’s Peak. It was a chore and very uncomfortable for me physically; I felt sick most of the way. I wanted to enjoy the event and everything around me, but just couldn’t because of my physical condition. At that point I determined two things: one, that I did not want to be that uncomfortable again, and two, that I wanted to be able to truly enjoy such things, such challenges and such beauty going forward. I decided to get in shape and climb it again. The result was a much more enjoyable experience for me 2 years later after picking up a regimen of daily running and exercise. Today I can say that I continue to see many benefits from the discipline I determined to achieve back then and there are many things I can now enjoy that I simply could not before.

I often reflect on the significance of this story on other areas of my life, seeing even that the benefits in one area actually spill over into benefits in many other areas as well. All of this would have continued to go undetected, had my experience not forced me into new considerations of the way I was living my life. I can experience more because of something I wanted to avoid and because of something I wanted to enjoy. I think this applies to other areas of life, beyond physical conditioning, as well. I can experience more relationally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc. by imagining (now from understanding) that there is much more yet to experience – things to avoid, things to pursue.

The point is not that there are lies surrounding truth (in fact, that is always a given), the point is that there is truth to be discovered and that, in so doing, we embark on new legs of the journey that we have not yet experienced…in part, by the sheer discipline of doing it. I do not believe that I can be or do anything I want…but I do believe that I can be and do a lot more than I know at any given point. Here again, lies and truth are side-by-side. Understanding the difference is helpful (after all, we simply must be honest…), but pursuing the latter is transforming. “The more I know, the less I understand”…is not a defeating thing, it is a liberating thing.

Let’s climb…for more. After all, it’s the truth that will set you free.

Find him there...

He departed from our sight, so that we should turn to our hearts and find him there.

-- St. Augustine

Same People

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

-- G.K. Chesterton

Everyman, the standard?

Compared to Everyman, I really don't have much to complain about....

It is interesting how comparing numbs us to something, isn't it? What about what we really want? Do we even know, when most of the time we don't even know what all we are made for? I wonder if such a way of knowing ourselves (comparing) isn't more like a disease, that more sickens us, than anything else. If I am only relative to what the other guy has or looks like, then can I end up anywhere but disappointed?

What is the standard then?

I think it is something inside of us, rather than something outside of us. And, to go one step further, I think it is someone who is inside of us...whose spirit resides within us. So how do we learn...to take our cues from what is inside, rather than what is outside of us? And, what distracts us from this kind of learning?

Living

We live with a humility born out of personal brokeness, moving towards each other with a deep patience, anticipating the surprising and mysterious work of the Spirit of God in all of us, individually and together.

Forgiveness...then Repentance

The saved sinner is prostrate in adoration, lost in wonder and praise. He knows repentance is not what we do in order to earn forgiveness; it is what we do because we have been forgiven. It serves as an expression of gratitude rather than an effort to earn forgiveness. Thus the sequence of forgiveness and then repentance, rather than repentance and then forgiveness, is crucial for understanding the gospel of grace.

-- Brennan Manning

Community

Why?

In heaven, God will not ask us why we sinned; He will ask us why we didn't repent.

-- Pope Shenouda III

...worth pondering.

Not measured by paragraphs

Writing is only writing. The accomplishments of courage and tenderness are not to be measured by paragraphs.

-- Mary Oliver

Let Us Run the Race Before Us...

...together!

Pilgrimage: Patience and Passion

...a funny thing happened on the way to my vocation.  Today, twenty-five years after I left education in anger and fear, my work is deeply related to the renewal of educational institutions.  I believe that this is possible only because my true self dragged me, kicking and screaming, toward honoring its nature and needs, forcing me to find my rightful place in the ecosystem of life, to find a right relation to institutions with which I have a lifelong lover's quarrel.  Had I denied my true self, remaining "at my post" simply because I was paralyzed with fear, I would almost certainly be lost in bitterness today instead of serving a cause I care about.

Rosa Parks took her stand with clarity and courage.  I took mine by diversion and default.  Some journeys are direct, and some are circuitous; some are heroic, and some are fearful and muddled.  But every journey, honestly undertaken, stands a chance of taking us toward the place where our deep gladness meets the world's deep need.

As May Sarton reminds us, the pilgrimage toward true self will take "time, many years and places."  The world needs people with the patience and passion to make that pilgrimage not only for their own sake but also as a social and political act.  The world still waits for the truth that will set us free -- my truth, your truth, our truth -- the truth that was seeded in the earth when each of us arrived here formed in the image of God.  Cultivating that truth, I believe is the authentic vocation of every human being.

-- Parker Palmer

Arcade Fire and Suburban Camping

It was supposed to be all about comfort and predictability, twin notions that must make God chortle fairly heartily.

-- Andy Whitman

Get this music to honest up your heart a bit.