Another lingering reflection, on a recent 3 Observations & A Question….:
There are so many things that we do to ourselves that just aren’t...helpful.
Perhaps 'helpful' isn't the word you were expecting (maybe it was something more like, 'right' or...). If moralization is a shark, its remora is often resistance. But, when framed this way, what shifts? If we could switch the metaphor, maybe we might be more free to ask a different kind of question — this time from a lens of what isn't helpful for us.
So, if something isn't helpful, why do we still do it?
Many times, we do things along these lines because of something that we don't want to feel (or, that we do want to feel). The easy ones are often things we do — things we eat or drink or smoke or watch. But, we often we don't do things, too, that would really help us — it's just easier to veg out, after all we're SO tired because of.... And, we have so many forms of escape in our economy.
But, perhaps what is most unhelpful about such things (whatever they are), at least primarily, is what they draw us away from — from what we really need. Even more, perhaps, is the distance such things tend to create from what we actually want. And, they often mess with our ability to distinguish between the two — functioning more like a distraction than something useful because, most of the time, unhelpful things are not actually enabling anything of particular use or help to us.
And, whatever form such things take for each of us, they often seem largely unable to truly satisfy us.
As we recognize unhelpful things for what they are (and aren't), perhaps when facing opportunities to do them, we can simply learn to re-orient ourselves with something like, "How does this help me?" or "How does this serve what I really want or need?"
I have found this to be the case with a number of things in my life, including some food I have perennially liked to consume. Over time I have learned to ask myself something like, "After this action (or this neglect), how will I feel later?" And, often, the unhelpful psychological, emotion, or spiritual things I do also impact my well-being. So, I'm thinking about areas of my life, where these dynamics exist. Where the frame of 'Is this helpful?' would help me.
There are so many forms that good information takes — so, we have the opportunity to discover which ones, in particular, help us.
Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.
