There is no question among researchers that fathers who spend time with their children instill self-control and social skills in their offspring.
Exactly how dads do that, however, is largely a mystery.
Some scientists are inventing new scales and laboratory procedures to try to measure the father factor. One researcher watched fathers and children playing games like "Get Up," in which fathers try to get up from the floor while the children try to hold them down, and "Sock Wrestle," in which father and child try to snatch each other's socks.
The Father Factor:
Researchers studying fathers' role often look at how they act during rough-and-tumble play. Here are some positive signs:
- Father is immersed in the game emotionally, smiling and laughing
- Father shows spontaneity, creativity or silliness
- Father is good-natured about losing, with no signs of ego
- Father helps the child control his or her emotions and calms him or her when overexcited
- Father adjusts his effort and his technique based on the child's cues
- Father motivates the child to stay engaged and keep going, or rejoin the game
- Father is dominant but shares the upper hand, allowing the child to win sometimes
More here from the WSJ.
It strikes me that there is a something very powerful that goes on with play between a father and son, not the least of which is a kind of presence that is, well, mysterious. Among other things, it communicates that while the world rages on, in all of its fear-inducing demands, I can stop and look at you and be with just you, at this moment, because you, my child, are the apple of my eye. As I reflect on my relationship with my father, I see that kind of presence with me. I see it historically and I see it even now. What a gift that is, to me. Perhaps the greatest part of the gift is that this is the kind that automatically gives itself to my own children, through me. Thank you, Dad, for giving to me and those I love in this way!
What a reflection that is of how God is with me. Considering the article referenced above, I wonder whether God plays with me, too. What if more people knew this part of God? ...worth considering.
