Cyber Monday

Ads have a tendency to promote narcissism while portraying our lives as dull and ordinary. They trade on natural desires but in a way that heightens our dissatisfaction and creates unrealistic expectations.

-- Jean Kibbourne, media critic

Adversity

If thou art willing to suffer no adversity, how wilt thou be the friend of Christ?

-- Thomas à Kempis

Dare I pray for this kind of friendship? My spirit is willing, but....  Fortunately, he is a far better friend to me than I to him.  He will take me where I need to go, through adversity or not.

Thanksgiving - Honesty and Hope

There is something about the sweep of things, if we're honest...that illuminates day-to-day goings-on. 

It also takes an honesty about the day-to-day, lest the 'overview' of things become the Christmas newsletter where only the good things of life are mentioned...to leave an impression about something that isn't really true...like how well our lives are going.

Looking back, at times like Thanksgiving, gives us the opportunity to be honest about what isn't yet, about our need, about our longings for more.  It is also reminds us about what is true...that God is calling us, that God is with us, that God is guiding us...and, therefore, that we have hope in Him in the day-to-day of our lives.

It's a good circle.

Joy in giving

There is a surprising joy in giving to others.

We Are All Pilgrims

The Pilgrims made 7 times more graves than huts.  It might be said that no Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.

All of us at one point or another don't realize that it is through suffering that we become thankful, for what we do have, for what we have been given.  No one expects this truth on the front side, but on the back side, those who have experienced it, recognize the truth of it.  How ironic, then, that we so vigorously avoid what we fear will take our lives, while all the while it is the very means through which life is given to us.

I must say that I am thankful for pilgrim-suffering (whatever the form may be) in my life.

Education & Creativity

I think it comes down to money (which is really a question of values). People would say that economies of scale of manufacturing have had to be put in place in education, in order to afford it...thus largely the 'system' we have today. That sounds OK on the surface, but when you consider the amount of other money being spent now on other things by school systems, parents, etc. that are really only somewhat connected to education (sports might be a good example), it makes you wonder whether the argument of not enough money really holds water. It seems more like a matter of priorities, of cultural values, of how we like to spend money...for the enjoyment / experience we connect with it. I wonder if the current system can be broken...without being forced to do so by some outside factor. Ironically, that could be economics after all.

Thanks for sending, Cliff!

Us

My children, my grandfather said, you'll never see anything worse than yourselves.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

...seems hard to believe, doesn't it? We're so used to it, we don't see ourselves clearly.

What Is vs What Ought

We must lay before Him what is in us not what ought to be in us.

-- C.S. Lewis

Because

Many people believe in God because of what they think He will do for them....

I didn't know it, but I have been one of those people at times in my life, too.  It's when God doesn't seem to work with the plan we've ended up for Him that things get interesting.

Nature's Christmas Lights

Wow!  What an awesome morning to be alive.

Perhaps due to an extra hour of sleep or perhaps due to a call I couldn't resist, I was able to enjoy a run in the woods this morning.  What a time!  What startling beauty.  The receding green has now almost completely given way to the emergent color falling everywhere.  The paths of hardened dirt are softened with a carpet of color padding every step.  You can see more, with less leaves at eye level and above, and the texture of all that is alive in the woods makes quite a chorus of joy to the eye.  A deer bolted across the stream right in front of me.  And around the next bend, one of my favorite 100-yard stretches of path was lit up this time with what seemed like the Christmas lights of nature -- a whole row of straggly and overgrown fire bushes reaching for the forest sky blazed red with the morning sunlight streaming through them just above my head.  It was one of the more beautiful sights of the morning...one that nature had organized and that quite out-shines the man-made versions we'll be seeing a lot of in a month or two.  I marveled as the phrase 'Repeat the Sounding Joy!' echoed from my head towards my throat. 

Today is one day I'm thrilled to be alive.  What a gift.

Do People Change?

Do you think people change?

I'd like to explore this question in subsequent posts.  I'd enjoy your thoughts / comments, too.

Breathe a little more deeply

I don’t know about you, but in this part of the world when the leaves take the long dive, and the nights grow longer, and a chill comes into the ground beneath our feet, music starts to sound different. And feels really, really good. And if that music is happening on a warmly lit stage in front of a room full of people who came in out of the cold and have braided the songs into the soulful stories they are writing with their lives, it can positively help one breathe a little more deeply. See this imperfect, beautiful world with new eyes.

-- OtR

‘But the poet says we must praise the mutilated world, we’re all workin’ the graveyard shift: we might as well sing along. All my favorite people are broken.’

...do yourself a favor and see these beautifully talented and humble people this year. You won't regret it. You will get your breath back eventually....

Purses - Reflections

I've been reflecting a bit on Hugo's thought (see post below).  At first blush, it is easy to disagree...we need money.  We have more fun when there is money.  Our futures are more secure when we have money.  ...or so goes common legend.  And yet, it seems undeniable that something else goes on when we accumulate 'money in the purse'.  Something shifts.  A grip tightens.  The need to protect it goes up.  Time shortens.  ...and we miss out on something very significant. While we gain certain things, others begin to pass us by. In retrospect, I would admit that I've been more alive, more open, more aware of others and the goings-on inside myself, more human, more dependent...during the times when I didn't have money.

But I suspect Hugo is really on to something more than simply the bane of mammon.  Perhaps he is speaking as much about the virtue of emptying oneself, the blessing of giving ourselves to others, whatever the currency might be.  Does he know about the value of being empty, of being emptied, of allowing God to fill us...rather than doing it for ourselves? I'm guessing he's pointing to a great surprise awaiting all of us through our willingness to be emptied for the sake of someone else...whether monetarily or otherwise.

Them or Us

...our sense of material entitlement has had a profound impact on the financial choices of American families.

Thanks to Jim for sending this my way.  While it's easy to say it's 'them', perhaps it's really 'us'.

Carpet of Color

Purses

As the purse is emptied, the heart is filled.

-- Victor Hugo

David's People Dancing?

I found this leaf today and became a bit enthralled by it...the symmetry, the intensity, the verigation of color.  I held it up against the sky for this pic.  I stared at it for quite a while.  Where does such beauty come from?

...and then I became a bit more mesmerized.  Is that one of David's people dancing in the dark spot at the right? ...click pic to see close up.

Confession

A friend asked me how I landed on my recent thinking about confession.  Here was my response.  I want to remember it:

First of all, I was struck when you confessed a while back.  I sensed a sincerity, a strength, and a humility as you did it.  It left an impression on me.  Since that time, I've thought often about why that happens so little, so infrequently.  And, this became some of the genesis of thinking for me about who we truly are, which returned me to Nouwen's thoughts.  Who are we really?  And, then, why we don't act like it?  Tom reminded us (confessed) of the truth of our more common commitments, which I translated into our individual and shared commitment to filter what is revealed about ourselves. Hiding significant parts of ourselves from view, from others, from ourselves.  And, so the question emerged, why?  Why do we live out of something other than we are?  Especially when at the right moment, none of us really wants to? 

At this point, I wanted to take this further, to push a little harder on it, by saying that we don't confess very much.  But then your image came to mind and I realized that we do confess.  You did.  I did a bit more...acknowledging what is true about me because you acknowledged your truth.  And, so the idea of invitation introduced itself to this concept and overtook the spirit of chastisement I was headed towards about myself and others.  We are simply invited to confess...and we do well to take up the invitation.  So you were on my mind as I prepared and it become more clear what you did as I spoke -- both intended and spontaneous.

This is the great surprise that we aren't yet familiar with...such things are a joy, powerful, and freeing rather than the version of whatever holds us back from 'jumping from the precipice'. 

So I thank you, for giving me the permission to explore this within myself these last few weeks...because of your confession.

By the way, the last lines of the Lord's Prayer are confession, too:

"For your is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever."

When we acknowledge what is true, we confess just as much as we do when we acknowledge our sins.

Thanks for asking....

Confession

So, a response to a question posed in a recent post.  The question was, "What is hiding's opposite?"

Of course, there is not just one answer.  Like most things, it's not just a "for this, do that" proposition.  It's not a formula per se.  But, all caveats aside, I'm thinking that the opposite of a life committed to self-protection through hiding is contrasted by a life that God seems to recommend to His people -- that is, a life of confession. 

Confession is a term that makes us rather quickly feel something we don't like.  We don't like the idea, as least at first blush.  Perhaps it is what we believe makes confession necessary that we don't like to acknowledge -- that we've done something wrong and need to apologize for it.  This, of course, means that we have to admit it.  We have to admit it to ourselves and we have to admit to someone else.  This is against the notion of keeping others away from the parts of us that aren't nice, tidy, and clean.  Thus the reason we work as hard as we do to filter ourselves in front of others, so that are darker sides are not seen. 

But the problem is that we forfeit something in this commitment to protect ourselves.  We forfeit the opportunity to be known, to be embraced, to discover a level of acceptance that we're afraid we won't get, to live freely...faults and all...with those around us.

God recommends confession throughout the Scriptures, from the design of how to handle things when we do sin against someone, to the practice of asking God to reveal to us where we hurt Him and others, all the way through to fighting the good fight of faith -- described as the 'good confession' -- by the way we live our lives.

Confession really is quite simple.  It is acknowledging what is true.  Both the good and the bad.  It is acknowledging our need.  It is recognizing our dependence on something besides ourselves for our well-being, our dependence on God.  2 chronicles 7 says that confession will lead to healing.  1 John 1 says that confession leads to cleansing, to being pure.  Psalm 51 says it will lead us to health and strength, even joy.

So whether specifically or through our general style of life, God recommends the less-worn path of confession, particularly in constrast to the well-worn path of hiding ourselves.  Perhaps this is why Jesus simply recommended this prayer to be on our lips on a regular basis:

Our father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done.
On earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our debts
As we have forgiven our debtors;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
And the power,
And the glory,
Forever.

This is confession; it is acknowledging who is in charge and aligning ourselves with the implications thereof.  I think it is the opposite of hiding.

Wiser

Keep praying, but be thankful that God's answers are wiser than your prayers!
 
-- William Culbertson

Hiding's Opposite...?

We spend a lot of time hiding. Whether choosing to withdraw from relationships, simply being silent, or working really hard to promote ourselves, we spend a lot of time and energy maintaining what is and isn't presented. Using Facebook or not...we all have, for a long time (beginning of time?) fostered a deep habit of hiding.

So what is the opposite of hiding?

Money

Money has a high price-tag on it.

Blessing of Opportunity

At times, God blesses us simply with opportunity.

Freedom, Authority, Community

Authority is not only compatible with freedom, but it requires it, since the continued existence and excellence of the community is possible only by forming and perfecting new members. Yet freedom is not an end in itself, but the necessary condition for a community to come to a more truthful understanding or itself and the world.
 
-- Stanley Hauerwas, A Community of Character

Funny how we often think about such words in isolation of each other, even in contraction or competition with each other. I like how Hauerwas puts them, as partners with each other.

Humbled

Has there been any truly great human...that has not been humbled along the way?

Let Your Soul Catch Up

The myth of our modern world is that our lives get better the more we do. Actually, the opposite is true:  we become more real, more human, more here, the less we do.

Today, find a bench or stoop to sit still, if only for ten minutes. To sit still is to stop. Literally. To take a break and spend time with God. Practice going to this spot at least once a day just to stop, to quit, and to let your soul catch up with your body.

  -- Unknown

GO TIGERS!

Fall 2011's Choir of Color

What a day...click here.

It was as if creation were singing at the top of its lungs, through its choir of color!

Image of God

Within each of us exists the image of God, however disfigured and corrupted by sin it may presently be. God is able to recover this image through grace as we are conformed to Christ.

-- Alister McGrath

I Don't Care

"I don't care anymore" is a veiled attempt to avoid hurt. 

The problem is that it only adds to the hurt by lying to ourselves...because, in fact, we do still care, whether we want to or not.

Hope

If you do not hope, you will not find out what is beyond your hopes. 

-- Clement of Alexandria

Half my life, I didn't even realize what I was really hoping for.  Thank God for the other half.

UM vs Minnesota 2011

Who Yearns and Waits...for Us

 ...and thanks to my friend Holly for forwarding this today. I am grateful for the right description of things. I had read some of Walter's works years ago. This reminds me to look into what he has been doing lately...more teaching and writing, I presume.

Change

When you're finished changing, you're finished.

-- Benjamin Franklin

We really don't like change too much.  Why do you think that is?

'Ben' essentially said change is a constant. I tend to agree. It must have something to do with how we are made; how what has been made is.  I wonder if we don't like change because we want to control things...for our own purposes...especially things we become used to.  So perhaps the design of things, including change, is for our own good.  ...so that we can't rely too heavily on this desire to use things exclusively for how we would like things to be, for our purposes, for our comfort.

How we react to change seems important.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

-- Reinhold Niebuhr

Dancing Pine

What do I see that speaks to me of God?  As I contemplated this today, I found myself standing before the undulating pine tree. It was as if it was doing a slow, barely detectable dance...one you couldn't see from very far away, but quite mesmerizing up close. It appeared that there was no wind, even as the living stack of verdant branches was 'doing its thing'. It didn't seem to care whether I noticed it or not. It just moved in a living rhythm, seemingly for it's own pleasure (or for the One who made it).

After a drenching rain, nearly each pine needle seemed to be oozing droplets of water, which graced like diamonds the waving branches which so proudly displayed their tiny wonders. The pine aroma aroused a deep affection as shadowy memories of color, texture, and scent wafted over me. I was in awe...of what stood before me, the past it grabbed swung around like a scarf and the nostalgic sense of future anticipation proffered an amazing coming of something that you can only feel by being surrounded by the natural world.

I stepped back as its liquid descenders leaped to land somewhere upon me.  As I turned away, another coniferous wonder confronted me; this time with fronds of green that were like exact duplicates of the the finest feathers I've even seen.

I knew in that moment that I could never capture the enrapturing nature of that with which I was now overcome, even as I attempted to do so with my far inferior camera of my cell phone. I had the sense that this moment was something more for me to share between me, the tree, and God than with anyone else. Though I nearly burst to tell of it somehow...what I am doing here.

One comment eeked out a few minutes later, 'wonder and worship are sometimes like siamese twins'.

Losing Things

At times, it takes losing things in order to really find things.

I have noticed in my life that I have had to lose things to discover that I am really hanging on to them.  And, that it was necessary for me to lose these things in order for me to find the things I really need (want) to be hanging on to.

...like my identity.

No king is saved by the size of his army;
   no warrior escapes by his great strength.

-- Psalm 33:16

I have tended to think things like this may be true for the big stuff...you know, like in war...national stuff.  But what about the small place where I live?  Is the place where I live really under the same kind of control?  The same kind of interest...on God's part?  But, where does such logic come from?  Isn't it usually the case that if the big stuff is covered, that the small stuff is, too?  Because it's the big stuff that we use (or gets used against us) to believe that things really are out of control; that the strong are getting away with things (and, somehow, at my expense)...because of their power or strength.  And, so, again under such logic, my small situation is even more susceptible to the power of the strong.

But, even though this view is pervasive, it remains illogical, deceptive even.  Nothing happens outside of God's purview, not even the activity (successes) of the powerful...corporate or individual.  Nothing happens that God does not allow.  That may not be comforting at times when my sense of things is 'at risk'.  But that really is only my perception...because the truth is that nothing, no one, does anything...on his own.  Big...or small.  At war...or in my small and normal life.

I am grateful for this simple truth about kings and warriors.

More on Forgiveness

There is a hard law...when an injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive.

-- Alan Paton

Forgiveness

He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.

-- George Herbert

GO BLUE!

Wow! What a game!

Saturday Morning

Perhaps it's time to for me...to remember the original goals of my 'Saturday Morning' efforts. ...which were largely to create some space in my life to reflect on...it. My life. The pace of things, life's seemingly endless demands, the multi-variate (is that a word?) directions of it...all seem to point to something that has increasingly become more reactionary, than planned. I'm not saying that is all bad. In fact, for me, I discovered many good things about it. My 'planned' life preferences aren't all bad either, but they do seem to introduce more possibility that I live 'outside the moment at hand'. And, there are many benefits to acknowledging and living 'in' the moments of life as they cascade upon us (me, anyway. You?).

But there is also a sense of 'go with the flow' that I continue to find leads me away from things I value, things I need...as I constantly end up seeking to satisfy the moment. I lose track of something along the way, and often it is the process, the destination. I become engrossed in meeting other's expectations and lose track of who I am...largely becoming defined by something external, rather than something internal. I lose track of my identity. More significantly, I notice a parallel track of these rails that leads me to lose track of God. He doesn't really go anywhere, but I seem to. I end up relying more and more on my own efforts, which leads me toward stress and towards a demand from others to 'cooperate' with my efforts. Something 'not good' happens on these paths. And, the noise of perpetual motion seems to contribute to it. I need to make time to stop. I need a few moments on Saturday morning each week to do so.

This is why, at least in part, I renamed my journaling (blogging) to 'Saturday Mornings', a time to stop each week and reflect on what is going on, what is guiding me, who I am leaning on. Re-connecting to God in my life, while ceasing - at least for a few moments - my striving. Oddly enough my computer screen, from which I write, has a quite glossy finish...which when I look at it less for the words being typed and more at its reflection, seems to show a somewhat shadowy image of my face...an image of me. When I look at, really looking at it, I see myself again and I am prompted to ask who I really am. Who do I see in this reflection? Is the me I see really who I want to be, or more of who I tend to become...an impersonal endless effort to 'keep up' in this world.

So, it's Saturday Morning and I'm catching back up with the real me...by slowing down enough to notice.

Bon Iver - Holocene

Believing

If we cannot believe God when circumstances seem be against us, we do not believe Him at all.

-- C.H. Spurgeon

Being Outside Leads You Inside

Coming off of a youth retreat this weekend, I am reminded that there is something profoundly true about how being outside leads you inside.

I have seen it over and over and over again.  The natural world calls to our hearts like nothing other.  Not unlike (and perhaps the same thing), the Creator calling to the created.

If you can't get inside yourself...go outside for a while.

Lead by Following

It is by what you follow, that you lead.

Put more succinctly, who you follow.  We're not following anything, except when we're following God.  And, we're not leading anything (or anyone), except when we're doing the same thing.

I used to think that you lead by...leading.  Now, I believe you lead by...following, when you're following God.

Identity

I didn't know who I really was until I could no longer define who I was by what I did.  It was when I thought I wasn't good enough to do anything, that I learned who I really was.  I am not what I do.  I am whose I am.

My acceptance of myself was really based on what I did and how well I did it and that was largely based on how others evaluated what I did.  But when others abandoned that process, I really didn't know who I was any longer.  All I had was theories about life, about myself, but no real belief...because my acceptance of myself was based on the acceptance of others.

My employment situations a few years ago were a big part of both sides of these realities.  The irony is that it was when I lost the identity I had through my employments that I really began to learn where my acceptance was really found...not in what I did or accomplished, not in what others said about me.  It was in the acceptance I had in God, regardless of what I was or was not doing...even when it appeared that I was doing nothing.

I learned this through nearly 2 long (yet relatively short) years of not being able to understand myself through what I accomplished in the eyes of the world.  And, I am eternally grateful for the true identity I found during this time.

I particularly enjoy the way Henri Nowen puts things...regarding our identity..

Prayer in Life's Tensions

Recently I found myself praying something familiar...for 3 things, really 4...when facing something about which I feel tension:

1. Wisdom -- that I would see what really needs to be seen, not just what looks familiar to me (based on my own experience).  In other words, for more of what God sees.

2. Courage -- that I would move towards things, speak into things that I might otherwise avoid due to my human inclination to take the path of least resistance.  And, that I would have courage not to move / speak when needed...to allow God to do His work.

3. Strength -- to be willing to stand in things when resistance comes, to not shrink back, but to be willing to stay...even when I become the object of the resistance.

...and, yes, a 4th thing:

4. Love -- that God would grant me love for those in the situation, for as the Scriptures note, without love (even if granted the 3 things above) I have nothing.

Following God

What does 'following God' really mean?  We could probably find a thousand answers, if we want to look.  But, the only one that seems to sustain us is the answer in any moment of our lives that is pretty concrete and pretty personal.  I like the abstract ones, particularly the ones I can relate to.  But I find that, like many other things, I've forgotten more of those than I will ever remember.  The one that is alive, that feels real at any given time, is the one that expresses something quite personal, something tangible, some real example of what it looks like right now.

For example, I have had to make a difficult decision of late, one that I wish I didn't have to make.  After sorting through all the debris surrounding the 'issues' involved, I really end up at one place; what is God asking me to do?  When I make the decision, I have to in some personal way satisfy the question of following God in it.

So I think the real question is somewhat closer to something like, what does it mean for me to 'follow' God right now?  In what I am facing?

...from there I decide whether or not to continue developing the habit of turning to God with what I am facing or turning to other things, other explanations, other theories, even other people.  For me, at this point in my life, 'following God' means asking Him about the situation I am facing and being willing to wait for an answer...as I continue with what is front me to do today.  When everything else has been exhausted, it gets back down to me and God, our conversation, our wrestling, my openness (even as He opens me), my not choosing diversions...a submission, if you will, to a long-term answer to this questions in spite of what I want in the moment.

Enslavements in Life

One of Hebrew literature’s nouns for salvation (“yeshuwah,” related to the name “Jesus”) comes from a verb root that accents wideness or openness. God’s liberation gives us plenty of room—breathing space, deliverance from our tight anguishes and confining bondages. Moreover, God is continually doing this for us now, not only in a far distant future. Do we recognize his gracious snatching as he rescues us and delivers us from our various enslavements in life?

-- Kent Denlinger

Do we trust Him to do this? This Physician analogy seems a propos, especially from a distance (from a painful thing in our lives).  Do we trust Him?  ...or, are we more interested in making our own medications.

End and Means

In the end we’ve got to say that if God thinks the glory-filled end justifies the grief-laden means, then the choice is clear: We can trust God and justify him as we make our pilgrimage through this wilderness life, or we can tell him we aren’t prepared to accept his redemptive schemes and rage against him at every turn.

-- Jim McGuiggan

Well if you put it...that way.... While there are times I doubt the process of the former option, I must admit I would rather choose it than the latter. And, actually, knowing what I know now about this, I would gladly choose it!

Shame

Do you remember how on earth there were things too hot to touch but you could drink them alright?   Shame is like that. If you drink the cup, drink it to the bottom and you will find it nourishing.  Try to do anything else with it and it will scald.

-- C.S. Lewis

Regarding Strength

Borrowing a bit on yesterday's post, why is it that those pretending to be strong cast down the weak?  While the truly strong don't do so....

It would seem that strength is not often what it appears to be.  These beautiful ladies (Help) were very strong in their dignity, in their service, in their respect towards those who didn't deserve it.  From the lens of history it would seem that what was going on in the south was really a kind of sanctioned, society-level bullying in the grossest of degrees.  I wasn't a part of it, but I am still ashamed of it.

...and it does make me wonder what I am a part of today, that I am blind to.

the Help

I would highly recommend this movie -- for history, education, and humanity.  Some of it made me sick, some of it made me mad, some of it made me laugh, some of it made me cry.

Bearing in the mind the risks of sweeping generalizations, the following seems true:

Wherever there are weak men, there are ugly women.

...and, I'm not referring to anything physical.

See if this isn't found in this one, too. To me, this is a 'must see' movie.

More on blindness...and sin

After my thought the other day on the relationship between blindness and sin.  Another one crossed my mind regarding sin and the blindness it creates in us.  How does it do this? 

One of the ways is that sin seems to create a kind of self-consciousness within us.  When we are free from it (self-consiousness), we don't often feel the constraints it piles on us, wondering about what other people think, worrying about my status in a relationship, working for acceptance from those around me.

However, when are not free from it, we do seem to spend a lot energy on these kinds of things.  I wonder if our sinful choices foster a 'need' for these things.  A need that binds us, rather than freeing us to live towards another person.  Self-consciousness turns our eyes towards ourselves and the protections we must seek to survive or prosper in our relationships with others.  In a way, blindness is a from of what we are looking at or not looking at.  When I am only looking at myself, brokering for myself, navigating for my own interests, competing for attention from others, I'm not really able to see much of what is going outside of myself.  I am, in fact, blind to it. 

So I've noticed that, among other things, sinful choices lead me in this direction...towards myself.  It forces itself on me by plunging me towards the questions of 'am I OK?'  'What if I'm not?'  'What do I need to do about it?'  'How can get others to see me the way I want to be seen?'  Because sin is involved, there is a portion of truth to the fact that I am not OK.  I have violated something about myself; I have sinned.  And, here is where sin gets violent with us, it turns our face away from life, away from our true acceptance.  It grabs our chin and as it jerks us, says 'look at you...you are terrible'.  It leads us away from God, inward, turning on ourselves.  It creates demand from others to make us feel better about ourselves.  Our need becomes greater than anyone else's.

The path back is straight and short - confession is remarkably easy.  Forgiveness is bountiful.  So, the only thing sin can do is to try to keep us from turning towards God, from where our true acceptance comes.  In other words, to keep us blind (enslaved) to the truth. 

Self-consciousness is part of how sin blinds us.

Alan! Alan! ...Alan!

She Made It!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amazing! And the stories...ah, the stories of people's lives. What a mess, what a wonder. Click here (or the image above) for more pics.  Here are some that a good friend, Cliff Staton, took (here, too).

The Demands of Sanctification

There is always a battle royal before sanctification, always something that tugs with resentment against the demands of Jesus Christ...."If any man come to Me and hate not his own life, he cannot be My disciple."

The Spirit of God in the process of sanctification will strip me until I am nothing but "myself," that is the place of death.  Am I willing to be "myself," and nothing more--no friends, no father, no brother, no self-interest--simply ready for death?  That is the condition of sanctification.  No wonder Jesus said:  "I came not to send peace, but a sword."  This is where the battle comes, and where so many of us faint.  We refuse to be identified with the death of Jesus on this point.  "But it is so stern," we say;  "He cannot wish me to do that."  Our Lord is stern; and He does wish us to do that.

Am I willing to reduce myself simply to "me," determinedly to strip myself of all my friends think of me, of all I think of myself, and to hand that simple naked self over to God?.....He will sanctify me wholly, and my life will be free from earnestness in connection with everything but God.

-- Oswald Chambers

We balk at such things don't we?  I think Chambers is probably right and I recognize within myself some disappointment, even as I admit the truth of it.  But, what would Jesus have otherwise meant if he didn't describe things as taking up our cross and following Him?

The Sunset Limited

What a powerful story of some of the largest dialectics of life.  I highly recommend this one.  Thanks, Blake, for inviting me to watch it.

Part of what is good about the movie, is that it is provoking.  I'm still rolling it around in my mind.  I think it has affected me personally, in some of the ways that it did for Jackson's character.  It makes you ask questions...about your point-of-view in life and why you have reached the conclusions you have.

Here are some of my reactions, as I wrestle through what I believe:

If God is not personal, then He is largely just an idea…just another explanation of things, and there are many of those.  All you can do then, is pick one...or try not to.  But, even that is usually picking one.

But, when we get personal with God or when He gets personal with us, God just as an idea evaporates.  He becomes very real…because He becomes very personal.  And, this 'personalization' often happens through the pain of this world.  Not an abstract pain, but a personal one.

Both characters obviously knew some of the pains of life.  But, that was about it; from there, they took really different paths.

This is what struck me about ‘the professor’:  We never really got the (personal) details of his experience.  We were only confronted with his conclusions in theory form, not in personal form.  And, we weren’t drawn to him because of the lack of personal nature of his conclusions (though they were obviously personal to him).  He kept those things hidden (even when invited over and over to reveal them), perhaps as much from himself as from us.  This is also what was drawing about Jackson’s character.  …we could see the personal part of his story.  It was clear to him and to us; where he ended up, what he needed, why he turned to what he did...and in sharp contrast to Jones’ character.

I've said before, and it seems true again:

God isn't personal, until He's personal.

Until that happens, He is largely an idea...capable of indifference and rejection, just like every other 'idea'.

I'm Proud of Her

I am really proud of my wife for doing this.  Today she starts a 60-mile walk with a few thousand others in Chicago.  Thank you all for making this possible with your generous contributions.

She's been walking for months getting ready.  Bless her.

Forgiveness

Is the greatest lever in my forgiving someone else, the specific knowing of how I have been forgiven?

...I suspect a low awareness of where I have needed forgiveness leaves me generally unable to offer much of it to someone else.

Strength of Faith

Over the years (millenia?) there has been much debate (discussion) about the strength of our personal faith.  Like, do we have enough of it?  As my own journey of faith continues, one thing that appears to be increasingly clear is this:

The only thing precarious about the strength of our faith is our perception of that strength.  And, whatever is lacking there, both publicly and privately,  is more than covered for by God.  ...He is way ahead of us as He guides to our final destination with Him.

Seeing

In darkness there is no choice. It is light that enables us to see the differences between things; and it is Christ who gives us light.

-- Mrs. C.T. Whitemell

Morning

A snippet from OtR's latest newsletter:

Woke up this morning on the farm, on the blurry edge of the world, mist rising off the fields, the embryo of a new day breaking open, pink and lavender spreading like a hopeful rumor in the east. A glowing crescent was clinging to the edge of the still-high moon like a spooning lover. A patient hawk sat silent in the dead elm, the goldfinches waking up, the first hummingbirds arriving at Karin’s feeders, thrumming the invisible harp of the world with their wings.

The morning smelled like a freshly opened bottle of wine – leaves, earth, the damp woods, berries, grass.

There is still more than enough beauty in one morning alone on earth to break a heart wide open.

-- Linford Detweiler

...mine's cracked; how about yours?

Difficult Circumstances and Intimacy with Christ

As we wait, we can fix our eyes on Jesus as a companion who empathizes with our suffering and a Savior who is working behind the scenes. Difficult circumstances seem to increase our ability to experience intimacy with Christ.

-- Ruthann Ridley

The more stories I hear, the more this seems true. It certainly seems true in my life.

Bon Iver

...one amazing experience tonight! Words fall short....

Blindness

One great power of sin is that it blinds men so that they do not recognize its true character.

-- Andrew Murray


 This seems quite true, doesn't it? In many respects, our sin(s) dull our sensitivity to God...our awareness of Him, even our interest in His ways. It blinds us, so that we don't see Him as clearly as we otherwise might. Perhaps this is why our prayers and songs acknowledge the phrase, 'Open our eyes, Lord....'  It is as much confession, as desire.


 There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

-- Chris Tomlin

...more on blindness and sin.

Circumstances and Goodness

Our circumstances are not an accurate reflection of God's goodness. Whether life is good or bad, God's goodness, rooted in His character, is the same.

-- Helen Grace Lescheid

Lys Agnes

Mystery

If there were no mystery man would not feel his corruption; if there were light man could not hope for a cure. Thus, it is not only right but useful for us that God should be partly concealed and partly revealed, since it is equally dangerous for man to know God without knowing his own wretchedness as to know his wretchedness without knowing God.

-- Blaise Pascal

O the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgements and how inscrutable his ways!

'For who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counsellor?'
'Or who has given a gift to him,
to receive a gift in return?'
For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory for ever. Amen.


I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.

-- Romans 11:33-12:2

I think I've missed the intent behind 'living sacrifice' by not connecting the verses before it. First, I suspect that I can only present myself to God by appealing to His mercy. ...it is not primarily an act of self-control (as I have so often thought), as it is a act of submission to His mercy...by acknowledging that I need His mercy. Second, the use of my body is the result of the use of my mind, particularly its renewal. My side of things is really more about how I conform to this world and His side is the transformation that can occur when I stop trying to conform.

Stopping this (conforming) is a real challenge, until I realize how much power God has over things...thus the prior OT quote. When my heart bursts with awareness of 'O the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!', the desire to conform is highly mitigated.

Summer Snowflake

Amazing summer snow...flake.

See more amazing here...a short picture-story, if you will.

Tahquamenon Falls 2011

More root beer please!

...click pic for more pics.

Beauty and Strength

One of the naturally most compelling forces in life is true strength.  It is hard not to admire it, whenever we see it.  Perhaps even more powerful is true beauty, which can slay the mightiest of things.  When combined, little is more life-giving to the world.

...that's a good place to leave it, but an opposite is also true and worth mentioning, particularly in the human arena of this.  Admitting weakness is sometimes a very strong thing to do.  And, acknowledging our lack of beauty...is a most beautiful thing

Fitting Time

For certain things are not refused us, but their granting is delayed to a fitting time.

-- St. Augustine

Worry

Worry is a misuse of imagination.

-- Dan Zadra

...got this one from a good friend, Jim Eisenbraun.

I suspect this isn't what Dan had in mind, but here's where my mind went today regarding 'worry is the misuse of imagination'.

So, why might this be true?  Well, for starters, what might we tend to worry about?  If we were honest, we could make a long list and whether we actually do so or not, we have such a list and it is pretty long.  I've realized that I've been worried lately.  I didn't even recognize it, but I think that's what I've been doing.  Why do we worry about the things on our lists?  What is at the root of nearly all of our worries?  I suspect that it is, in fact, a kind of loss of imagination...of letting God be God in our lives; over the things we worry about.  We don't imagine much more than what we see, so we take over.  Which often just leads us to...more worry about how we're doing.  So we really aren't imagining much of Him at all. ...and that seems like a misuse of imagination to me.

What are you worried about today?

Interruptions

One thing [Peterson's life story] makes clear is that vocation is not so much about what we want as about how we respond to God's interruptions in our lives.

-- Christianity Today, Review of The Pastor by Eugene Peterson

Nothing Destroyed

There is nothing destroyed by sanctification but that which would destroy us.

-- William Jenkyn

Weddings

In anticipation of a good friend's wedding yesterday, I was thinking about why I like weddings.  There are many things, but the thing that stuck out to me yesterday was the sense of hope they represent.  Hope of what?  I think weddings represent a hope we have that our desire for perfect union will be satisfied.  This is a massive desire, to be sure.  So big, in fact, that we often end up looking right around it for other things than acknowledging how much it dominates us.  This is a good desire, by the way, a God-given desire...for it is with Him that we desire a perfect union.

Weddings are times that reconnect us with our desire for God, with others, with another person.  They remind us of the perfection we long for in our relationship with all things.  This is probably why weddings can be painful, too, because they remind of what isn't, what hasn't happened, and what has happened...that leaves us far short of the beauty and hope of such events, and the perfect union.  But the pain of these things is never enough to overcome the power of our desire for all that is good with another person, with this world, with God.  For as great as this power is, God's desire for such perfect union is even more profound, more deep, more beautiful.  And, He will not be stopped in His pursuit of His bride. 

I enjoyed the wedding immensely.  I enjoyed even more what it represented...about my and our desire for perfect union.

My, Oh My

The beauty of this day already has my eyes full of water, tears of gratitude that I could even take such things in so deeply.  Tears of joy at the prospect of a dear friend's wedding.  The eyes moistening from such a brilliant response of the earth to this morning's sun after a day of slow and lazy drizzle.  The wordless satisfaction of the swelling of healthy competition from a good workout, the kindest of words from a son, the beauty of marriage...all speak straight into the center of me, and make me feel more alive than I've dreamed possible.

A friend (thanks, Randy) passed along a book written by a man I have come to deeply respect over the years. Parker Palmer's A Hidden Wholeness is proving to be a capturing of something that resonates within me about as deeply as anything I've known on the "shape of an integral life, the meaning of community, teaching and learning for transformation, and nonviolent social change".  He observes "how quickly words can cut loose from human reality" and credits his wife for helping him stay tethered to three questions as he writes:  Is it worth saying?  Is it said clearly?  Is it said beautifully?

Here's an example:

There was a time when farmers on the Great Plains, at the first sign of a blizzard, would run a rope from the back door out to the barn.  They all knew stories of people who had wandered off and been frozen to death, having lost sight of home in a whiteout while still in their own backyards.

The analogy's connection to our broader existence is striking. Another blizzard-reference characterizes something I recently tried to capture in my own life about 'a strange merger' I feel within me:

The blizzard of the world
has crossed the threshold
and it has overturned
the order of my soul.

-- Leonard Cohen, The Future

My, Oh my.  I have only begun to live within and without.  And, at times, the splash of sun on the tiniest drop of last night's dew can just about bring me to my knees in awe of it all.

Just Because

I was talking with a friend today about life, and things that we would like to be doing...job-wise, study-wise, other-wise.  We agreed that it's possible that not everything we would like or think is good...is necessarily good for us.  A lot of times, we need to simply just take the next step towards what is right in front of us, rather than wishing we were somewhere else.

Just because I want to, doesn’t mean I should.  Just because I don’t want to, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t.

Inner Ripening

No one can know what secret inner ripening can come from suffering and sorrow. All we know is that every individuals life is priceless - that each is dear to God.

-- Christoph Probst

...love that imagery, inner ripening, not often how I have thought about suffering / sorrow over the years. But, now it seems quite accurate.

Freedom

Jesus continually communicated freedom -- not freedom to go your own way but freedom to relate to God through the intimacy of grace.

-- keri wyatt kent, Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity

Just Don't Know

We just don't know what will happen in life, we just know what's at the end.  And that should make all the difference...!

Sex Economics 101

What's your 'take' on this subject? What are we translating to our kids regarding what they are facing into today's 'market'?

It seems that what is modeled speaks the loudest. After that, what are we actually teaching / saying about such things...with our words (or, lack of them)?

...click the pic for the article.

Beauty

Beauty is often only considered skin-deep in our culture. No wonder we often live like that is all there is...because we seem to think that's all it really is. But beauty is so much bigger, so much more.

For example, when we observe that something is a thing of beauty, what are we saying? What kinds of things do we describe this way? How about a 'well-oiled' machine, like a high-quality car? How about a team that performs very well together? How about an significant accomplishment that has a manifest result? We say such things are a real 'thing of beauty'. Something we don't fully understand, but can deeply appreciate...can be a real thing of beauty. And, of course, things in nature or artwork can be beautiful.

What about the human dimension of things? Women, for example, can be beautiful. The strength of a man can also be beautiful. A relationship between a man and woman can be beautiful. As can a relationship between a father and son, or mother and daughter.

How about another dimension of beauty; is it possible that a woman's beauty is enhanced by the strength of a man, one that allows her to relax, to offer tenderness, gentleness? To me there is little that surpasses that beauty and yet it can be so easily tarnished when a woman seeks the beauty (glory) of a man. Likewise, the strength of man is a beautiful thing, especially when it is sacrificial, other-centered. A woman, like nothing other, can enhance this kind of beauty, when it supports the risks a man can take when extending his strength towards a world that needs it.

In other words, there seems to be an even more beautiful beauty, a combined beauty, that emerges out of individual masculine and feminine beauty.

I hope our sons and daughters can catch a glimpse of these realities of beauty, a kind that will take them past the skin-deep versions so splattered about by our culture.

Who Could

...even think of such beauty?

Sanitized God

I DON’T PRAY to a sanitized God, an airbrushed God, the God of the silver screen. I pray to the God who put the green into nature and fire into the tongues of men; to the God of ceaseless change, who gives with one hand and smites with the other; to the God of the concentration camps and to the God of the bullies so many of my Jewish brethren have become. I pray for the humanitarians and I pray for the barbarians and I pray to stop pretending I can always tell them apart.

-– Sy Safransky

I really appreciate the honesty here, especially in light of the 'airbrushed' God so often marketed by the church. A lot to reconcile...a lot of reconciliation needed. ...including with me. A sanitized God really puts me in an ungodly position, one of judging Him by who I want Him to be...which, of course, leads to an equally ungodly position of judging what others are.

Self-conscious

I often feel quite self-conscious after speaking in church...which I did that recently. I put a lot of time into it and only a couple of people even mentioned it to me, and then only in passing. In another era of my life, I would have tried to 'read' a lot into that -- condemning only before condemning myself for my inadequacy. Now, I realize that I can make a lot of things 'about me' that really aren't. So, I just worry about it less than I used to.

But, I would be lying (at least to myself), if I pretended that I'm not self-conscious about such things at all. When I spoke, I talked about the need to acknowledge the day-to-day things we feel to God, if not to others. And, that not doing so, under the pretense of not 'needing' to do so, really cuts off others and myself from the opportunity for access to some deeper things internally. So, I took my own admonishment and went to God with my 'self-consciousness'.

Two ideas surfaced. One is that in doing such a thing, like speaking in church, I really do not want to do a dis-service to the Truth by mis-representing something about God. I feel this pretty deeply, more deeply than I had realized. This led me to the realization that I likely have to admit that it is impossible not to mis-represent Him...and that, in some unexplainable way, that should be freeing.  But I still don't want to mis-represent Him...either by carelessness or intent.

The second thing that surfaced in my thinking is that almost nothing I do is completely absent of self-serving, self-promotion. So, some of what I want in such situations is simply for people to praise me for things I do, at the very least for the effort I expend. This is nothing to be proud of and not necessarily a revelation, but just admitting it again, out load...takes some of the hot-air out of the pressure I likely put on people to make me feel good.  To whomever I have done that to, I profoundly apologize.

...so, here again, I receive something deeper by taking my own advice and confessing the simplest and most normal of things. Admitting what is going in within me, rather than denying it.

Thriving Child

A child does not thrive on what he is prevented from doing, but on what he actually does.

-– Marcelene Cox

When Was the Last Time?

When is the last time you felt really listened to?

Anyway

People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-– Kent M. Keith

Faith

Faith, to me, seems to be something along the lines of...the willingness to acknowledge the uncertainties of this life (uncertainties about myself, uncertainties about life, uncertainties about God, etc.) and turn to God with them, as opposed to the commonly perceived benefits of simple denial, self-determinism, or the false medications offered by our world.

Emotional Constipation

...if there were such a thing, what do you think 'emotional constipation' would be?

Here's a stab at it:  The inability or unwillingness to recognize or utilize what our emotions indicate to us.

It leads to a number of things:

• Explosiveness
• Addictions
• A kind of forfeiting of goodness to which perceived bad feelings can lead

I was talking to my daughter the other day about the tendency we have to keep things inside. While there is a place for common sense and controlling our tongue, I think many times our silence is not so much prudence as it is self-protection. We don't want others to see some of the things that go on inside us.

The truth may more be, though, that we don't want to see the things that go on inside us either.  And, what we don't realize is that the self-protection we broker with regard to others and their view of us is really a weapon against ourselves. Our silence can cause us not to speak to ourselves, or perhaps put a differently, to not put words to the reality we are experiencing. When that happens, we form a kind of denial about things, about life, about ourselves. Denial at this level can be damaging to who we are, because it allows a false sense of self to grow.

When our kids a little, we say "don't hit, use words".  What we don't often realize as adults is that we often learn to not do either one.  ...and the result is often an experience of someone who is constipated.  Pretty uncomfortable.

Dazzle Gradually

The truth must dazzle gradually, or every man go blind.

-– Emily Dickinson

CUBS 2011

...another fun day at Wrigley. Yes, they lost again.  But, the peanuts were good...they just seem to taste better at the ballpark.

Consumerism

The main problem with this culture...the thing that will destroy evangelical christianity in the next 25 years is it's willingness to be at home with the commercialism and the consumerism of our society.

-- Tony Campolo

Surface

Draw on the surface of things in life, in order to go beneath it.

Comma

Never put a period where God has put a comma.

-- Gracie Allen

It's The End of the World As We Know It

Reason & Spirit

The philosophers of old made reason the sole ruler of man and listened only to her, as the arbiter of conduct. But Christian philosophy makes her move aside and give complete submission to the Holy Spirit, so that the individual no longer lives, but Christ lives and reigns in him (Galatians 2:20).

-- John Calvin