1. Communicate your expectations.
This was the number one piece of advice that I was given before our wedding that I believe has served us very well. While my husband and I have never had terrible arguments, our biggest moments of frustration, hurt or confusion have come from unmet expectations.
2. Use "The Number System."
Some friends shared a little system (a rating system of 1 to 10 to demonstrate their personal desires to the other for any given thing) with us before our wedding that might seem silly, but has proven to be surprisingly effective! These friends explained to us that as a couple, their personalities and needs are not always in line as one is an introvert and the other is an extrovert. While one might really need alone time, the other is ready to accept every party invitation they receive.
3. Be transparent.
To “be transparent in your marriage” is simple advice but sometimes hard to carry out. When you’re dating, it’s easy and natural to want to put your best foot forward and hide those personality quirks, struggles or challenges that you’re not proud of, or have a hard time sharing openly.
But marriage can’t thrive on secrecy and acting.
4. The little things matter a lot.
The first time I went to the freezer and got a bowl of ice cream and didn’t bring two spoons back to the couch to share with my husband, his disappointment and hurt was real. Now, this may seem silly to others, but for him, the fact that we had always shared one bowl was a little gesture in our relationship that was obviously cherished, even if I didn’t know to what extent.
Read the rest here....
-- Jessica Crooke
