Solitude brings us face to face with a person who fills us with dismay: our naked and unadorned self. Instead of the self-sufficient, goal-directed, accomplished human being we've learned to secretly admire, we are suddenly revealed as a weak, dependent, fearful creature who much of the time uses others to fulfill desperate needs. If we have prided ourselves on the maturity of our faith, solitude twitches back the curtain on self-deception. The experience can be devastating.
Today, spend an hour in solitude: no phone, no e-mail, no TV, and no interacting with another human being, live or electronic. If you are already accustomed to living by yourself, think about he ways in which you defend yourself against loneliness. Do you rely on the TV to keep you company? Do you spend a lot of time calling friends? Do you feel compelled to socialize often? Ask God to show you what you'd prefer not to see: your undefended self. Then ask God to strengthen and sustain you.
-- Paula Huston, simplifying THE SOUL
We continue this week in the fifth week of Lent. I'm still reading this powerful set of practices and prayers...and continue to be provoked at how well defended I have made myself. And, I am missing a lot in my paltry efforts.
