What do you do when you feel like something is happening to you and you don’t know what it is?
When it feels like you are becoming something that you are not yet (or not fully aware of yet) — when your sense-of-self feels too connected to who you have been. And, in some way, that combination of 'have been', 'are', and 'becoming' sense of things is disorienting.
Put another way, do you ever wonder if you already are something that you haven’t yet become?
Like some cosmic game of Wordle, something has selected your word, but you don’t know what it is yet. And, you are trying to use the information that you have to deduce something, via a process of elimination, that is already there...and it isn't really working. Having just turned 59, maybe my sense of things is that there are only so many more guesses — like being on guess 5 (out of 6).
These days, I feel like this is happening to me. Something is moving, but in slow motion. I keep going, but not sure where or why...not knowing what is happening (or if something even is).
What If...nothing is happening...and I just want it to?
...finish here.
