Is it me?
That question almost always gets involved, if you really want to know. Much of the time we don't really want to know, so we don't go there very often.
But, if we're honest, the question at some point is unavoidable. As, perhaps, it should be. We aren't never involved.
What if it is (me) anyway? After all, we all wonder about it, even if mostly just privately. Though we feel shame when it is the case, we also know that it creates opportunity for understanding and for personal growth. We know our egos are often involved in our self-presentation, not to mention self-protection (don't we?). So, what's really to fear? We have to ask the question, at one point or another, or we'll never move forward.
Besides, when it is (me), those around us may be SO relieved when we finally risk asking the question they've been wishing we would ask.
On the other hand....
Just because there certainly have been times when it IS me, that doesn't automatically mean that it always is. In fact, on the average, it's probably more likely that it isn't (me). Self-preoccupation can be an addictive thing. And, the downsides of it can be quite ugly. When our insecurities always make it about ourselves, it doesn't really serve anyone well.
Even though not always, more often than not it (whatever it is) has nothing to do with us. Too often, we are all selfish enough that we are rarely thinking about anything other than what we're facing, about what affects us. We aren't really even thinking about another person, most of the time. Neither are they.
So which is it? Ask the question or not? Most 'either / or' scenarios are often better served by 'both / and' perspectives. In other words, while at times you do have to ask yourself, is it me?, much of the time it really isn't.
This may actually leave us in an even more uncomfortable position, when we provoked to wonder (often by a response or lack of one from others). Because here you have to really think about what it means when you don't really know where it leaves you. Sometimes it's easier to just assume it is you, so you have something to work on. If it's not, though, making it so mostly just complicates things (unnecessarily).
…when it IS me, however, I do need to know — sometimes it is good to just ask.
