Somehow, we all get to the point where we shift our perception of what is important, from what we have lost to what we still have.
Whether it is a relationship or a job, general fulfillment or health or material things, across the spectrum of life, we are gaining and losing something all the time.
Disruption of that coming-and-going of daily living, by something more intrusive or dramatic, thrusts us into assessment of that gain or loss, particularly at the beginning and especially regarding what we’ve lost. But, in time, those that find a healthy way forward seem to invariably turn towards what they still do have — the focus shifts off of what isn’t, to what is.
I can be having a crappy day or even a crappy week (ok, year), but invariably I can also get put, either by my choosing or by some other force of circumstance, into a context where I notice something else — something that also exists...and not particularly touched by my crappy day.
We tend to think of these things in big categories or as big ticket items, but I suspect we are negotiating this dynamic all the time, in even the smallest ways. I may begrudge the fact that I can’t have ice cream whenever I want (and, therefore, at this very minute!). Perhaps I have diabetes and can’t eat sugar indiscriminately anymore, but that doesn’t mean there is no food available that can still be enjoyed. And I suspect, not being a diabetic, that that is one of the biggest challenges — that shift from from focusing on what I can’t have…to what I do still have.
In my case, I can no longer run because of my knees, but I can still walk. I am jealous of that runner who just gallops along right beside me on the road (that was me), but I have learned that there is just something about a long walk, too…which I can still do. I can’t climb to a summit of most mountains anymore (maybe I never could), but I can still enjoy the perspective that those who can offer.
There is some risk here, in this observation. For one, loss is loss; and that loss can be both real and significant (sometimes, even more than we know we can bear). We should not by-pass loss by simply overlooking it, in favor of something else — something some faith-communities are often guilty of. And, I’m also well aware that such shifts are easier said than done. Often, it happens to us more than it is a result of our own agency.
But...
…finish here.
