There is a quiet, yet persistent, urging within me to do more of what I really enjoy doing — what I notice I most naturally do, what I want to do.
But, invariably, I run up against the question of 'why?'. And, too often, the only answer I can come up with are reasons not to.
It is conspicuous that it is too easy to not come up with the reasons why I should; what does that indicate? What is my 'why' question really about?
Is it related to the dynamic of criticism / rejection one often feels when they put themselves out there?
The reality is that I am not doing things that I am probably really more made for (or, at the very least, want to do; that I enjoy doing). Instead, I am doing something that I am able to do (most likely — as gross as it sounds — because it is the easiest way I can envision to make money).
I suspect that the answers I am looking for in this will only be discovered, as I do more of what I really want to do.
Tomorrow, I will be taking another step towards discovering more about what shape responding to this urging could look like for me....
