The very thing I feel I need is not what I really need—especially when I believe I need it from outside of myself.
What I really need is sourced within myself.
I catch myself wanting to make it about what others are not doing for me, how they make hard for me, etc. (blame is so handy, isn't it?). But, if they can’t provide what I want, they just can’t (they’re self-preoccupied, physically or emotionally incapable, exhausted, or even just disinterested)—whatever the reason, if they can’t, they can’t.
And, in the end, they can't anyway. Because what I really need is already within me.
So, I can only live from a source within.
Why is this so hard to accept? In part perhaps because, in some way, demanding it from others transfers something away from myself and, thereby, keeps the locus of the issue in the wrong place. This culturally convenient construction is a deceptive, insidious, and onerous thing. No one can give me what I essentially need because they were not, after all, designed to do so. And, I am not designed to receive it from them.
Do I want things from others? Yes. Things that make me feel good? Yes. Things that make me feel better about myself? Yes.
Can others satisfy these levels of need with me? No.
Our sense of need is so often misdirected, as is our sense of solution for it so often misplaced.
The truth is, I already have everything I need—the challenge is learning to fully acknowledge this and turning to the work of discovering what this means. I am something at my core. What am I? Who am I? What do I need? That's my work (not somebody else's).
In other words, the answer is not so much out there...as it is in here.
