Change can be viewed less on a spectrum of acceptance (or rejection) than on a spectrum of growth (non-growth).
So many of us right now are concerned about change — both the content of it and rate of it. To many, it feels unfamiliar, out of control, and difficult to determine what to use to keep their bearings. There is something instinctual that makes us want to reign it in, slow it down, find a basis to evaluate what parts of it are ok and what parts aren't. The waterfall of the information involved is overwhelming — it feels like we're drowning...in something.
When this kind of thing happens, people will often try to get back to something — to the basics they might say. One way we often do this is to try to break things down into simple parts. Often, into binaries. This or that. One or the other. Keep it or toss it. People try to figure out what things to work with and what things not to.
Often this takes on personal dimensions pretty quickly. And, for some reason, it seems easy to make things about acceptance (or rejection). In other words, if I make choices, I am making them on the basis of whether they are good or bad. I need a frame to sort with and often I end up using labels (like good or bad) to reinforce why I am making choices the way I do.
This, of course, is mostly a method to simplify the process. But, it also is about defending it (either to ourselves or to someone else).
Invariably, though, it also becomes about whether or not I perceive that you accept me for my choices. Somewhat amazingly, we get all the way from uncertainty about the nature of change to whether or not you accept (or reject) me. At the very least, this dynamic is not very helpful in general, but in particular with our relationship with change. Change happens regardless. Our sense of acceptance from other people is almost entirely another matter.
What if, then, we could move this frame of thinking to a different one. What if, rather than a matter of acceptance, change is really more about growth?
It kind of is anyway, isn't it? Will I adapt and grow with an evolving reality? If there is one thing that humans do, it is that — they adapt. Any even cursory review of history will reveal that not only does this happen, it has to happen. The conditions of our surroundings (manmade or otherwise) have always influenced what humans do, where they live, how they think about their relationship with it. This, by the way, is not isolated to human beings. All living things, in fact, do this over time.
If I am willing to grow (change), I can often not only survive, but also thrive. I can be enriched by the growth that comes from change and become more capable of working with it and contributing to my life and the life of others. If I am not willing to grow, though, I become stuck and, to some degree, incapable of making much contribution to reality.
It is easy (for most) to see the importance of growth in young people — they need to grow and develop in order to become fully functioning and healthy adults. We accept that. What we don't often see as easily is the need to continue to do so; just because we have reached a certain size or age doesn't mean that our growth should stop. When this happens, we call it wisdom. The dimensionality of our growth continues to expand in all directions and we become increasingly capable of guiding others into the same process.
So, what if change could be more intentionally viewed through a lens of growth?
