One Leg

To stand on one leg and prove God's existence is a very different thing from going on one's knees and thanking Him.

-- Søren Kierkegaard

Will Sustain You

Cast your cares on the Lord
  and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous be shaken.

-- Psalm 55:22

A time of open sharing at church today seemed very much to me like 'casting our cares' on the Lord.  I've often read this through a lens of cause and effect.  Like, 'if' we cast our cares on God, 'then' He will care for us.

But we tend to be too much either / or, while God seems to be much more both / and.  God says He will sustain us, so...why wouldn't we cast our cares on Him?  He promises not to let us be shaken, especially in the ways we fear most.  God wants us to go to Him with our concerns...because He WILL sustain us.

Rainful Joy

Perils Alone

I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.

-- Thomas Merton

God lives with us, in our circumstances.

Convinced

How do we become convinced of something?  Is it not most often a result of suffering or struggle?

Comfort Zone

We seem to grow proportionately to our willingness to move outside of our comfort zone.

We can, and should, move towards challenging things...rather than avoid them.  This is how we grow; how we become increasingly alive.

Only Thing That Can Grow

The only thing that can grow is the thing you give energy to.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Entirely Of Our Choosing

We have no choice, we must all die. How we live, however, is entirely of our choosing.

-- Simon Sinek

What then will I actually choose today?

Delight?

For the Lord takes delight in his people;
he crowns the humble with victory.

-- Psalm 149:4

It is still hard to image that God delights in us. But, God says he does. So, what would it be that makes this feel impossible or untrue?  And, how do we combat how we so often feel with such a truth?

The Christian faith is meant to be lived moment by moment. It isn't some broad, general outline -- it's a long walk with a real Person. Details count: passing thoughts, small sacrifices, a few encouraging words, little acts of kindness, brief victories over nagging sins.

-- Joni Eareckson Tada

What we choose to believe matters, because it informs the choices we make.

Communities Build Bridges

Communities build bridges of all kinds, don't they?

Lord, Help Me...

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, 
   but with humility comes wisdom.

-- Proverbs 11:2

"Lord, help me to have the courage to be humble".

I haven't noticed much of a connection between courage and humility. But, it does seem to takes courage to be humble...to trust in something other than myself.  The wise know this.  The courageous know this.

"Lord, help me...".

Trivial Indulgence

Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible.

-- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Energy and Self-Control

Researchers at the University of Nottingham recently published findings from their exploration of 83 separate studies on energy and self-control. What they found will change the way you start your day.

The researchers found that self-control and energy are not only intricately linked but also finite, daily resources that tire much like a muscle. Even though we don’t always realize it, as the day goes on, we have increased difficulty exerting self-control and focusing on our work. As self-control wears out, we feel tired and find tasks to be more difficult and our mood sours.

This exhaustion of self-control kills your productivity, and it makes the morning hours, when self-control is highest, the most important hours of the day.

But the trick isn’t just to spend your morning hours working; it’s to do the right things in the morning that will make your energy and self-control last as long as possible.

-- Travis Bradberry

There are some surprisingly easy things that can help us with this reality.  Continue here...

Organizing

For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned.

-- Benjamin Franklin

NEEDTOBREATHE

My, oh my, were they ready to go last night!

Handicaps

So it's searchable:

Is it possible that the very handicaps in my life are the keys to usefulness in the service of God?

-- Alistair Begg


Humble yourselves, therefore,
under God’s mighty hand,
that he may lift you up in due time.

-- 1 Peter 5:6

The Unique Way

Every person needs to choose to follow Christ...and. particularly, in the unique way that God has made them to do so.

Consistently Fought For

The soul that is not carefully attended to—the soul whose health is not consistently fought for—will erode spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and in every other way. This is why the fight against the wrong in us is a most important and necessary fight. Emotionally intelligent and spiritually healthy people answer the question, “What’s wrong with the world?” in the same way that Chesterton is said to have answered the same: “I am.”

-- Scott Sauls

Continue here....

How God Sees Us

Perhaps, the question is, what do we allow to most inform how we see ourselves?

If we see ourselves largely through the lens of how we believe others see us, we set ourselves up for some serious problems and can only end up in arrogance or despair.  We will always be trying to keep track of what others expect of us, what we need to be, and never be able to let our guard down or relax.  For sure, we won't be able to be who we really are.

If we see ourselves primarily through a definition we come up with on our own, even if we succeed in shunning how others inform that, we likely will end up absorbed with ourselves, only able to serve our own interests, concerns, or threats.  Not to mention, alone.

We must then learn to understand who we are based on something else....not from others, not simply from our own constructs.

Our only viable option is to see ourselves from God's perspective, how He sees us.

...then, we can discover who we really are.

And, it no longer is necessary to get others to see us in a certain way.

Most Informs

What most informs the way we see ourselves?

The Way We See Ourselves

I love this message my wife is sending to her students, as they start a new school year today.

The way we see ourselves is pretty important.

We Really Want

We really want people to see us the way we see ourselves.

Other Way Around

As long as we imagine it is we who have to look for God, we must often lose heart.  But it is the other way around -- He is looking for us.

-- Simon Tugwell

This couldn't be more evident to me than the recent baptism of my son, Conner. I am so proud of him, his willingness to fight for this life that God has put within him.

Tension Between

What is most characteristically human about us is the tension between the desire to be "free" — self-identifying and self-choosing — and to be "related" to love and be loved.

-- Paul Tillich

CUBS WIN!

Another fun time with the fam at Wrigley yesterday...this time they won!

Seedlings Of Our Desires

Our thoughts are amazing things.  They are the seedlings of all our desires, actions and beliefs. In fact, what we think about most of the time, we tend to become.

-- Jas Singh

Only Wisdom

The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility.

-- T.S. Eliot

To embrace what Suze is saying, it seems to me, we must acknowledge what Eliot is saying.

Though not 'new', this truth is a game-changer -- or, it keeps the game changed from the one we so often play in.  Despite what the world says, I really don't need to be what humility is not.

Not More Like You

The key to being a good mentor is to help people become more of who they already are -- not to make them more like you.

-- Suze Orman

Of Itself

If you take care of your people, your people will take care of your customers, and your business will take care of itself.

-- J.W. Marriott

Be Persistent

Be persistent: If you want something badly enough, you need to work at it. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. 

-- Bruce Kasanoff

I'm not on my A-game today.  I'm not emotionally alert, having trouble seeing clearly, mentally foggy.

I can 'bag it' or press in more intentionally to try to overcome.  Sometimes persistence seems natural; sometimes I have to choose it.  I have a sense of what it needs to be today....

Asking

Whether we like it or not, asking is the rule of the Kingdom. If you may have everything by asking in His Name, and nothing without asking, I beg you to see how absolutely vital prayer is.

-- Charles Spurgeon

I've been thinking about what I ask God for, as well as what I don't...and why.

I Shall Know Him

I'm sucker for b-shop quartet style harmonies.  I went to a competition for my 10th birthday and have never forgotten it.

Alike, Large

This is our Lord's will...that our prayer and our trust be, alike, large.

-- St. Julian of Norwich

The weight of the human future can feel very heavy at times.

Ask yourself what you really want (pray) and just take the next step (trust) in that direction. Do that again and again. You will arrive at a place you didn't anticipate (Lord's will).

 And, you will realize that the load was lighter than you had guessed.

Straining At The Oars

Straining at the oars of prayer at times can be such a sweet burn in our spirit-muscle.

Just a whiff of the possibility that it matters is all it takes to keep rowing, to keep praying.

Natural Response

Compassion seems to be a natural response, even though it so often feels unnatural.  It is when we see the object of our compassion through the lens of what we, too, have experienced, that we can offer mercy.

This morning's mercy to me came in the form of this awareness, that where I might want to react in anger (ironically, often because of anger towards me), I more naturally want to respond with mercy...because of the mercy that has been shown towards me.

In other words, what someone else is going through...is something, if I'm honest, I also have gone through (or still go through).

Has Prepared

“What no eye has seen, 
    what no ear has heard, 
and what no human mind has conceived
    — the things God has prepared for those who love him—”

-- 1 Corinthians 2:9

Holding You Back

The only thing holding you back is you -- and your willingness to try.

-- Jeff Haden

Telling & Trusting

When we tell people to do their jobs, we get workers. When we trust people to get the job done, we get leaders.

-- Simon Sinek

Lower Level? No!

We always have visions, before a thing is made real.  When we realize that although the vision is real, it is not real in us, then is the time that Satan comes in with his temptations, and we are apt to say it is no use to go on.  Instead of the vision becoming real, there has come the valley of humiliation.

Life is not as idle ore,
But iron dug from central gloom,
And batter'd by the shocks of doom
To shape and use.

God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way.  Every vision will be made real if we will have patience.  Think of the enormous leisure of God!  He is never in a hurry.  We are always in such a frantic hurry.  In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet;  and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality.  Ever since we had the vision God has been at work, getting us into the shape of the ideal, and over and over again we escape from His hand and try to batter ourselves into our own shape.

The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be.  Let HIm put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision.  Don't lose heart in the process.  If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you.

-- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

Essence of Inhumanity

The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity.

-- George Bernard Shaw

What Is Love?

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about what love is. Perhaps, even more, about how it works...how it should work, especially when it isn't clear...how it should work.

Does it mean, for example, that it mean that we forebear with others or respond to them, about things that make it hard to 'be' together?  Is it accommodating?  Is it sensitive?  Or, it is tough?  Does it mean that we pursue or that we need to wait, patiently?

These questions put things in 'either-or' terms.  I suspect love isn't constrained by such definitions; that is, love is much more malleable, less prescriptive than we might like it to be...than simply this or that.

I have turned to a passage in 1 Corinthians for further perspective on what love is:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies. 

Love, it seems to me, is all these things, not just always one or the other. In other words, love is 'both-and', not 'either-or'.  There is a time for everything...and love encompasses time.

So then, the next emergent question appears to be one of timing.  When...do we love with patience, with waiting?  When...do we love with pressure, with confrontation?

At the very least, love appears to be quite imprecise...not very much about seeking to 'get it right'.  This, actually, is quite freeing.

Inevitable

Change is inevitable.  Growth is optional.

-- John Maxwell

Because They Want To

Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it.

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Mother of All Skill

Repetition is the mother of all skill.

-- Tony Robbins

Only Gets Better

Leadership is something that only gets better by doing it.

-- Maynard Webb

CT: Farewell, Cultural Christianity

As American culture changes, the scandal of Christianity is increasingly right up front, exactly where it was in the first century. The shaking of American culture will get us back to the question Jesus asked his disciples at Caesarea Philippi: “Who do you say that I am?” As the Bible Belt recedes, those left standing up for Jesus will be those who, like Simon Peter of old, know how to answer that question. Once Christianity is no longer seen as part and parcel of patriotism, the church must offer more than “What would Jesus do?” moralism and the “I vote values” populism to which we’ve grown accustomed. Good.  Continue here....

-- Russell D. Moore

Blood Into Ink

The purpose of literature is to turn blood into ink.

-- T.S. Eliot

I've been writing thoughts, phrases, and ideas more lately.  Perhaps this helps explain why.

Convinced

We seem to only be convinced of something that is, once we've become convinced of something that isn't.

It is part of the process of knowing, of believing -- to learn what isn't true, often the hard way, helps us believe what is true.

Requires Something

Nearly everything worth having or enjoying requires something.  Rather than simply a curse, perhaps there is something about requirement that affords us the ability to enjoy.

The easier way -- the one with less requirement -- is not the better way afterall.  It reduces our ability to appreciate, even participate in, what we enjoy.

Giving and Receiving

Knowing and understanding is a result of giving and receiving.

Ember

Is an ember something that is dying out or what keeps something burning?

I feel like an ember describes my sense of being the last few weeks; in other words, not much flame.  I am wondering, which direction things are going...that is, which is a more accurate description of me, at the moment...am I dying out or keeping something alive?

My instincts are to do something to make myself feel busier.  But, I don't think I fully trust this instinct...I suspect I need to burn differently for now.

Every Journey

Every journey down is really soil for a journey up.

Largely Through What Happens

If God speaks to us at all other than through such official channels as the Bible and the church, then I think that he speaks to us largely through what happens to us...if we keep our hearts and minds open as well as our ears, if we listen with patience and hope, if we remember at all deeply and honestly, then I think we come to recognize, beyond all doubt, that, however faintly we may hear him, he is indeed speaking to us, and that, however little we may understand of it, his word to each of us is both recoverable and precious beyond telling.

-- Frederick Buechner, Now and Then

...though He uses them, it seems His speaking is in a language beyond the limitations of words. His is a language of knowing, that He teaches me.

The Years Are Short

A compelling perspective on how much ordinary, even inconvenient, things matter.  Because it is often in such things, that we can have the opportunity to be the most present with someone else.

Clear Intention

Knowing what you want, uncomplicated by confusion, is a clear intention.  Your brain obeys clear intentions more easily than confused intentions – that’s why multi-tasking turns out to be so inefficient. Neither task receives adequate focus, and the brain is divided between competing intentions.  Every time you hesitate or feel mixed emotions, your intention is no longer clear.

Think of how hard it has been to make decisions in your own life when you felt ambivalent, indecisive, or unsupported in your decision-making. These factors affect not just you, but the entire situation.  Worse still are decisions that must be made where there is distrust, rivalry, and hidden agendas.  A group of people with mixed motives isn't conducive to reaching any goal smoothly, and when a bad result occurs and outsiders ask, "What were they thinking?” The answer is usually "They were thinking too many things at once."

In every area of life, intentions become murky when you:

• Don’t really know what you want
• Think you don’t deserve to get what you want
• Feel skeptical that any result will come
• Have mixed motives
• Experience inner conflict

The secret to holding focus is to make it effortless. The image of a genius with furrowed brow concentrating like mad is the wrong image.  Awareness likes to be focused when it is pleased – that’s why two people in love can’t tear their eyes off each other.  They drink each other in; there’s no effort involved. So apply your focus to the things that charm you. Put your energy on things you love but also on things that most easily hold your attention and make you feel energized and vital.

-- Deepak Chopra

Other Side of Fear

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

-- George Addair

Fork In The Road

Pain takes us to a fork in the road -- it can cause us to harden ourselves (self-protection) or it can be what opens us up...to more of life.

Pain creates opportunity for us to pay attention to things we otherwise might not.

More Disappointed

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.

-- Mark Twain

Addicted & Bored

We are both addicted and bored...by the familiar worlds we seek to maintain.

Compassion

You may call God love, you may call God goodness, but the best name for God is compassion.

-- Meister Eckhart

This Is No Wall

Big news, there is no wall.  Mistakes make your brain grow.

-- Jo Boaler

...read more here about how our mindset affects our growth.

You Don't Care

If you aren't working hard, you probably don't care a whole lot about what you're working on.

-- Ann Handley

Rigor and Growth

As I reflect on my past, as well as on what I see around me, it seems to me that rigor is a key ingredient to our ability to grow as human beings.  Challenge creates opportunity for discovery within ourselves of things that just can't be gotten to otherwise.

Conversely, the avoidance of things requiring rigor often leads to atrophy and a stunting of our growth.

This seems to be true physically, mentally, regarding self-awareness, and spiritually.

None Of Us

None of us see things fully the way they really are....

Obliteration

The obliteration of biodiversity in the living world has received much less attention than climate changes, depletion of irreplaceable resources, and other transformations of the physical environment. It would be wise to observe the following principle: if we save the living world, we will also automatically save the physical world, because in order to achieve the first, we must also achieve the second. But if we save only the physical world, which appears our current inclination, we will ultimately lose them both.

-- E.O. Wilson, Pulitzer Prize winner

...for more, click here.

The Speech of the Sky

Last evening was one of the more beautiful evenings I've enjoyed in this life!  The nature of Wilderness State Park, MI.

More pics here....

CT: We Need to Start Talking about Sin and Righteousness Again

Most people believe the big cultural shift happened in the 1960s. But when I investigated the books and culture of the late 1940s, I found that the transformation happened then. There were tons of best-selling books, and some movies, arguing that the notion of human sinfulness was outdated, and that we should embrace the idea that we’re really wonderful.

When you lose awareness of sin and start thinking that, deep down, human beings are pretty wonderful, you lose the struggle of character building. Building character is not like being better than someone else at a career. It’s conquering your own weakness. But you won’t make that effort if you lose a sense of what your weakness is and where it comes from.

We’ve encouraged generations to think highly of themselves. In 1950, the Gallup organization asked high-school seniors, “Are you a very important person?” Back then, 12 percent said yes. Gallup asked the same question in 2005, and 80 percent said yes.

There are surveys called “The Narcissism Test” that ask whether respondents agree with statements like, “I like to be the center of attention because I’m so extraordinary,” or “Somebody should write a biography about me.” The median narcissism score has gone up 30 percent in 20 years.

Our economy encourages us to promote ourselves with social media, to brand ourselves and get “likes.” In theory, we know humility is important, but we live in a culture of self-promotion.

You may be able to build character and greatness through disciplined effort, but I don’t think you can experience the highest joy without grace. Nor can you experience tranquility. That only comes from gratitude...continue.

-- David Brooks

The Voices of the Earth & Water

The nature of Mackinac Island, MI

Fuel of Nature

Nature is fuel for the soul.

-- Richard Ryan

From the Upper Peninsula in Michigan today...in search of fuel.

If We Ever Wake At All

We awake, if we ever wake at all, to mystery.

-- Annie Dillard

Chief Want

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fighting A Hard Battle

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

-- Ian Maclaren

Force

Force, though necessary at certain moments, may win the battle, but it rarely wins the war relationship-wise.

One Father

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.

-- George Herbert



The Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

-- Psalms 103:13

How To Trust

Above all else, guard your heart, 
  for everything you do flows from it.

-- Proverbs 4:23

How?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
  and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
  and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
  fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
  and nourishment to your bones.

-- Proverbs 3:5-8

What is the greatest inhibitor to trust?  Could it be fear?  Wm. Paul Young, author of The Shack, puts it this way:  Fear Is Your Own Creation

Have no fear of sudden disaster
  or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
for the Lord will be at your side
  and will keep your foot from being snared.

-- Proverbs 3:25-26

We dis-empower our fears by learning to trust God:

My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
  and do not resent his rebuke,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
  as a father the son he delights in.

-- Proverbs 3:11-12

How To Not Hold Back

Go all the way with it. Do not back off. For once, go all the goddamn way with what matters.

-- Ernest Hemingway

How to Be Alive

Being a good steward of your pain . . . involves being alive to your life. It involves taking the risk of being open, of reaching out, of keeping in touch with the pain as well as the joy of what happens because at no time more than at a painful time do we live out of the depths of who we are instead of out of the shallows.

-- Frederick Buechner, The Clown in the Belfry

How To Grieve

I'm not claiming expertise on this one...grieving seems to be a continually easy to avoid.

Yesterday, we had the joy of moving our daughter, Drew, into her new place with her now husband, Ryan.  Upon returning to our home, I felt a deeper ache than I had anticipated.  This sentence ran through my mind:  'She's not coming back this time...' (at least in the same way that she has before).  Though I couldn't be happier for her (and him), something inside me hurts.

I need to grieve.  I think this means things like, not trying to deny what I feel, not trying to find something else to make me feel better, not trying to 'move on'.  I think it means staying in something for a while and letting it take me somewhere...like through something.  ...so that it can give me something else, like an unexpected gift.

There are greater losses to grieve, to be sure, than the good transition of a child into marriage.  So, I feel the beckoning of not taking this too seriously.  On the other hand, I'm guessing that part of healthy grieving is not minimizing our sense of loss wherever we run into it.

Grief is love not wanting to let go.

-- Earl A. Grollman, Living with Loss

Grief is a sign that we loved something more than ourselves....

-- Joan Chittister, Gospel Days

How To Believe

Unless he obeys, a man cannot believe.

-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

How To Learn

We learn primarily by doing; from doing.

...particularly from what we do repeatedly.

How To Say No

For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age....

-- Titus 2:11-12

True

We tend to think of truth too much in terms of either / or.  Truth is this or that, not often both.  This is true, that isn't.  That isn't true, because this is and so on.

I got here by listening to a friend talk the other day.  As he described his experience, I found myself wondering if it was true.  I wondered, in part, because it seemed like it was true...what he was saying.  On the other hand, I don't know that I would describe my experience the same way.  So experience is true?  If his is true, then what does that say about mine?  If mine is true, then what does that say about his?

The more I thought about it, the more is seemed possible (likely even) that both of our experiences are true.  That it isn't that only one or the other...is true.

What is true seems much bigger than trying to figure out which it is, at any given time.  What is true is.  The only thing that is untrue is something that says that what is true isn't.  I may be getting tangled up in words here, but the greater reality, it seems to me, is that truth is what really is.  All that untruth, or lies, can do is say that something that is true isn't...or may not be.  It can't really change anything about is really true.

This is freeing, in many unexpected ways.  I don't have to encounter what is true in the same way you do.  And, I don't have to require that you do so, in the same way that I do.  We both can experience what is true...in wildly different and in similar ways.  Conformity is not necessary for truth.

A Social Experiment

Stranger Than We Can Imagine

The universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.

-- J.B.S. Haldane

Stepping Away

Stepping away lets you expand on what you’ve already worked on and removes you from work, so you can think clearly.

-- Gregory Ciotti

Goals

Most goals require focus to be achieved.

Really?  Tell me something I don't already know.  Well, the irony seems to be that though we know it, we still don't seem too committed to focusing in our lives.  Perhaps, this is due to so much distraction around us.  Perhaps, this is why this statement is as true as it is.

I have to concentrate on things I desire, so that goals can emerge from them, so that I can aim my life at what I want, at what is important to me.

Tornado of Emotion

I feel like a tornado of emotions just blew through me.

I'm looking around at the debris, in wonder, and marvel at what just happened...through our first daughter's wedding.

Out-Shine

Nothing can out-shine the glory of God...or really even come close to doing so.

The line from a hymn says 'Though the eyes of sinful man, thy glories may not see...'. But whether we see it or not, nothing changes about how this is true.

Week of the Bride, Pt 6: Wedding 'Blessing'

Fatherly Blessing...to Drew and Ryan:

I may not have lived long enough to know, but other than the day you are born, I'm not sure there can be a happier day for a father and mother…than the day of your child's wedding.

From our view of faith, marriage is sacred.  Sacred, in part, because marriage symbolizes at least  two things -- our desire and our commitment.

Drew and Ryan, your desire to be married is a testimony to God, because it demonstrates your commitment to sacrificially love another person, in a way that creates a context for new life...a family. Your love for God will be what binds and sustains this commitment to love each other. And, your love for each other will be what binds and sustains your commitment to love your children, should God bless you with them.

You each have been uniquely made…to pursue these desires and commitments, both toward God and towards each other and towards the combination of you two for your family. Trust that uniqueness in yourselves and trust that uniqueness in each other...something easier to say, than to do. Seek God in everything…in the good times and in the bad times and, perhaps more importantly, in the in-between times. Assume (part of trusting) that God is in you and assume that He is in each other.

Drew, I have so enjoyed our times together and specifically over the last year. Too many to review all here, but I have received an unexpected comfort from your nightly 'good night!' coming down the hall. I will miss that. I have also enjoyed our lunches together...just listening to each other and talking. I will miss that. Can we do a lot more for someone else than to listen to them (to keep listening to them, even when we suspect we've heard it all?)

You have such a beautiful sensitivity about you -- to life, to relationships, and to God. I love this about you and the opportunity to see you again in this way...I know of some of the depths of your desire for God. I will predict that you will encounter both deep pain and deep joy because of this sensitivity. Don't let anything or anyone take this from you; it is your gift, from God. It is your unique way of following him and drawing others to him. All gifts are meant to be given…. Give yours. Give yours to Ryan, even when he's not yet all that he will be.

Ryan, you have an unassuming strength that I admire...you join in, and you stay present. You don't seem to make assumptions easily. You have a deep desire to do what is right and good and to follow God. You step toward things, even when they are hard. You have an ability to be persistent -- committed to see things through to the end, even if it is a long way to go (this last year has been an example of that). I love this about you. Ryan, this is part of the gift you have been given. And, because all true giving is sacrificial, I predict that you too will experience pain and joy because of your gift. Don't let anything take this from you; it is your gift, from God. Give what you have been given by Him to others. Give it to Drew, when she's not yet all that she will be.

Drew & Ryan, marriage has purposes that are greater than you two, as individuals. It is through your pursuit of God individually and together that you will each become more of what God has made you to be -- Drew for your beauty to shine, Ryan for your strength to fight and endure. Ryan, like I have had, you now have the wonderful opportunity to help present Drew blameless before God. Drew, you have an opportunity to embolden Ryan's strength and ability to stand humbly in this crumbling and sometimes cruel world. Please know that when both of you do this, you will be reflecting and giving something glorious to those around you.

I am so pleased and grateful for what God is joining together, in the two of you, in your marriage today. You both have my (our) unhesitant blessing. We are thrilled to celebrate with you -- your desire and your commitment to each other and to God.

I love you…both.

Week of the Bride, Pt 5: Final Preparations

What a day filled with beauty!  The beauty of a shared goal, tomorrow's celebration.  The beauty of God's flowering earth, literal and figurative.  The beauty of friends and family...of coming together. The beauty of music and words, and people who love God.  ...of singing, of laughter, of fun, of food and dancing, and yes, even the beauty of tears.  The beauty of preparation.  The beauty of anticipation...of hoping.

Why so much of it?  Is it worth it...all the preparation?  You bet it is.  It taps into the deepest parts of us, to join something we so deeply desire, to give of ourselves for even moments of beauty and joy.  We live for moments of aspiration and for what they reflect of God.

These kinds of things help us know that we really are getting ready for something beyond ourselves and we know this most deeply when we do this together.

Week of the Bride, Pt 4: Gift & Gratitude

This morning's woodsy walk did its good work in me -- it gave me a gift:

I am so grateful for the gift of Ryan to my daughter, as her husband, now just in two days.  Unless I believe that I deserve good things due to my efforts, which couldn't possibly be the case, then everything good that we receive is nothing short of a gift from God.  In a consequence-laden world like ours, and with my own baggage in tow, that God would bless my beautiful girl with a man who fears Him and loves her...is both a marvel and a gift beyond description.

Week of the Bride, Pt 3: Valley & Routine

So far, I am calling today, 'the valley'.  The brimming 'sense of anticipation' cannot be perpetually sustained and, perhaps, goodly so.  In a matter of hours (days), we will all be converted to a rush of something, if not the details themselves, the actual engulfing of the event itself.  And, that, I look forward to immensely...because 'the thing' IS happening!

But today's low spot seems rightly a more subdued day (though it's not yet over...).  A time of reflection, low-grade anticipation and building, of doing the final behind-the-scenes stuff of preparation.  Last night, opportunity for friction arose...as well as the appeal (to me) of avoidance.  I awoke this morning a bit anxious about it.  But, I stuck to the pattern of living that has served me so well in recent years and exerted myself physically, and thereby spiritually, to discover anew where my strength truly lies...in what I believe, because of Who I believe in, Who sustains me.

Here again, I risk too much about me, but I sense the moment was recognized by others in my family last night and am grateful that I chose not to use the force of self-protection, but rather a kind of patience (although, certainly, an imperfect one...given some of my internals).  The greater things are true (though it's not that the lesser things are not...), and it is those that I thankfully rediscovered this morning.  I can be something good, whether I fully and perfectly am or am perceived to be that way or not.  Others are living a dynamic as well, in their own lives, and that also actually can be deeply trusted.

The beauty of the sunrise whispered this truth to my waking mind and now the morning of these truths are again in full-bloom.  I am alive and well and goodness is on its way (like it always is).

From the valley...of the 'Week of the Bride'.

Week of the Bride, Pt 2: History & Gratitude

We watched 'home videos' last night.

Wow...how young we were.  And, to think that we (I) was entrusted with real kid's lives.... There is something powerful about history, especially in an age where the 'present' is so emphasized.  There are reasons for this, even some good ones.  But, reflection on the past can often, easily bring one back to one's knees.  We really had no ideas what we were doing, but we sure thought (hoped) we did.  We really didn't.  Perhaps, there is a grace in our naivete.

And, the video version of 'life' then doesn't capture all that was going on.  There was some real pain happening, too.  As I reflected on all of that this morning, I realized how grateful I am that God has not only preserved us, but also saved us.  Us, and our kids.  This is the real WOW.

And now we are preparing a wedding.  A wedding to celebrate a commitment to do this all again, in the form of a new family.  God's grace will again be needed.  But, God's grace will also be more than enough and will result in an equally deep sense of gratitude.

I am grateful...for the love of our God.

Week of the Bride, Pt 1: Thoughts & Emotions

In my own, small corner of the world, I am designating this as 'Week of the Bride', from a father's perspective.  My oldest daughter, Drew, gets married this coming Saturday.  Since this is the first marriage of one of my children, I think it good (for my sake, in nothing else) to capture at least some of the thoughts and emotions, particularly that I experience this week.

Thoughts: We are transfixed by both the temporal and the transcendent. Temporal -- what will the weather be like for this 'outdoor' wedding (we aren't the first to temp this fate)?  Transcendent -- what will this kind of beauty do to me?  How will it melt into and emanate from my daughter and son-in-law?  We are dealing with timeless forces here.  May a portion of God be reflected well.

Emotions:  I have had the words, but this morning the emotions, too -- that I will truly miss my daughter.  I sat a bit slumped on the stairs with my wife as tears flooded my eyes (yes, it's only Monday...).  As I hold something for my daughter, she does the same for me, too.  I will miss that, and her.  I am also over-joyed for her and this most natural of unfoldings of life.  I couldn't be happier.

Difficult and Not Tried

Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

-- G.K. Chesterton

One has described it this way, not a populist message...(thanks for forwarding, Randy).

This is what the Lord says — your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:

“I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is best for you,
who directs you in the way you should go."

-- Isaiah 48:17

Hours Needed Earning Minimum Wage to Afford an Apartment

This pokes at something I've been latently pondering, regarding what money means in our society, what it means to me, and how the two are connected.  I think about this locally, when I see some of the disparity in our community housing...from the poor to the rich.  I wonder about what my own view of money indicates, as it relates to the racial tensions we're feeling nationally.  I am concerned about how all of this fits into something globally, where it really is impossible (unsustainable) for everyone to live (eat, drink, sleep, work) like I do.  

Click here...for more details.

Kind to Yourself

I hope you are kind to yourself. That you give yourself the time and space to figure things out. That’s not a license for laziness. I worked, and worked hard, in my 20s. And I wouldn’t trade the experiences I had during that time. But if there is a 22-year-old out there reading this and feeling adrift, I have this to say to you: Been there, done that. And look at me -- it all turned out better than fine, right?

For those of you with great career jobs already lined up, I have a warning: Achieving success and power will not be a function of your job, nor how hard you work at that job. Go in with that mindset and you will emerge in your 30s or 40s, exhausted and disillusioned. You are not your job. You are the sum of your thoughts, your intentions and most importantly, your actions.

-- Suze Orman

Not What's Really Important

If you’re not guided by a clear sense of purpose, you’re likely to fritter away your time and energy on obtaining the most tangible, short-term signs of achievement, not what’s really important to you.

-- Clayton M Christensen

This reminds of this reading:

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called....

-- 1 Timothy 6:11-12

Take hold...of what's important...to you.

Saints and Sinners

The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past while every sinner (should have) a future.

-- Oscar Wilde

Uncomfortableness

The uncomfortableness we seem to be most comfortable with is our own, most likely because we are most familiar with it.  We are less comfortable with other people's uncomfortableness (unless it is a lot like ours).  It is like we, in an illogical way, love the things we hate about ourselves.