You are only entitled to the action, never to its fruits.
-- Bhagavad Gita
So many things are out of my control....
But, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t ANY things that are within my control.
Often times, our relationship with things that are out of our control have to do with certain outcomes we desire. So, really, it’s what we do in the meantime that matters.
For example, even though I do try to anticipate the possibilities, when I plan a trip I can’t guarantee that the weather will be good. But, I can go ahead and plan the trip and prepare for it by taking clothes for whatever the weather might be (like this trip, which had both). Or, I suppose, I could just not plan the trip because of the possibility that the weather could be bad....
Or, when trying to get a job, I can’t control whether somebody will hire me or not, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t look, apply, or interview for a job.
Take finances — I can’t guarantee (or even anticipate) everything about what I will need financially in the future, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take simple steps now to save a little bit of the money I make (as opposed to spending it all).
What about our health? We can’t ultimately control whether we get cancer or not, but we can do things now that are healthy or unhealthy…which may contribute to whether we do or don’t get cancer.
In relationships, we can’t control how another person will react or respond (or choose to do) to things that are needed to maintain a healthy relationship, but we can still choose to love (even if they don’t).
These days, we seem to have become a bit fixated on outcomes. If the outcome we desire isn't guaranteed, we tend not to try. But, what we don't realize as much anymore is that so many times, it is the effort — the trying — that truly enables us. There will be an outcome, to be sure. It may or may not be directly related to the effort (most of the time, it is). It could be that the outcome is very different that what we imagined it would be (often times, it is).
When we look back, we can often see a connection between our efforts and outcomes. But, along the way, it may often feel like it isn't going anywhere (but, it is). And, so, it seems to come down to something like this; we learn to trust the effort more than the desired outcome.
In many ways, being in control is much closer to fantasy than reality. If we can accept that, then perhaps we can simply give the effort it takes to live our lives in constructive and healthy ways. One that builds on itself and that, in the end, leads us somewhere good.
