It seems that prayer is, in the end, really about communion. A union of myself with God that seems like a joining with power; a joining with something that is already activated, and with which I am aligning myself. If there is something that I need or want — prayer seems like it is as much about me bringing myself to that power, as it is about me trying to orchestrate or manipulate that power for the benefit of my need.
But, the question remains, is there any kind of leverage in that participation — that joining of myself to that power? In other words, does specific prayer, or request for assistance or help, somehow engage or motivate or direct attention to the thing that I am praying about? Does it actually activate anything?
I think because of the religious diet that I 've eaten over the years, it feels like it was much more the latter than the former (enter terms like 'prayer-warrior'). But as I embrace the former (union), I am still curious about what kind of activation is still possible by the latter (leverage). When we pray for the things that affect us, in the circumstances that we face, what is actually available to us that we forfeit when we simply don’t do it? I’m afraid that the verses that often come to mind from the Scriptures about the dramatic things that we could do if we had enough faith, or if we were to simply ask (“you have not because you ask not”) are more often misunderstood on the basis of certain outcomes that we either desire, or even expect, as a function of our activity related to prayer.
Take, for example a changed physical condition or a job or a relationship that can often feel like we don’t have enough agency (power) to control for the outcomes we would like or need. It is often about such things that we end up praying because of that lack we feel about our ability to create the change we desire through our own power. And it seems to often be the case that before the moment of recognition of our lack of efficacy, we often don’t pray because we are still operating from the premise that there’s more of our own resource we could marshal (or the need itself is not great enough to warrant such prayerful requests).
So, it makes sense that disabusing ourselves of prayer as primarily leverage in our most needy moments, as opposed to something much brighter and more relational, and communal than that, is pretty important to both recognize and understand. But, in our acceptance of such, I still wonder whether such prayer is merely the joining of myself to the object of my prayer (not to say that is a small thing). In other words, is that all it is? Or, is there actually still more? Most surely, there has to be…more. But just as surely, it would seem our need for that “more“ is too often tied directly to a specific outcome. And, we probably know (even innately) how shortsighted our desire for specific outcomes can sometimes be. Perhaps, this is why we end up defaulting to a lack of prayer, because we are caught somehow in the less-than-human formulaic nature of leverage and if it’s not primarily about that, we might directly (or even subconsciously) defer to a more why-bother-then disposition.
How about an example? I want my son’s health to not only be restored, but also...finish here.
