I've noticed...I tend to respond to ideas more than I create them.
That might be a bit too obvious, too convenient...and, therefore, self-fulfilling.
For one thing, it might not even be true. What may be true though is that it is easier borrow than it is to notice.
Isn't noticing closer to some kind of engagement with the dynamics that generate ideas? Of course, it takes more than that. But, the problem is that I am often too busy to take the time to let noticing lead me to creating.
And, I can become content with just responding to them. But, inevitably I end up being bored with that modality. I want more — to be in ideas, rather than just flirting with them.
Couldn’t I be just a little more Christmasy today (after all, this is a decent-sized holiday week)?
Well, perhaps I am. I am tapping into something that happens with the run-up to Christmas each year, with the latent awareness that something is both closing and opening.
Closing in the sense that I know how a year is supposed to finish — you know, with Christmas. Like putting a star on the tree, it is supposed to cap off the year. We know how to do it. It feels good and if it can't, at least there are many things to eat and drink to numb us if needed.
But, we also know that right behind this closing is another opening. Something we both want, like a fresh start, and fear, like what will change? What do I need to change (besides the additional weight I'm carrying from all the eating and drinking)?
Responding to things is a great habit — it is a kind of engagement with what is directly around me. But, it also can become kind of insular. I start choosing what I want to engage with and, more particularly, what I don't. And, if I'm honest, I get a little bored with the convenient arrangements I come up with.
Invariably, I want to create something. I want to be a part of what is being created. Perhaps the former (responding) is simply a human instinct, while the latter (creating) is a divine one.
The smash-up of ideas embedded in things like Christmas and New Years is quite a combination when you really think about. One is about cherishing something and the other is about wanting to blow it up.
