Straining At The Oars

Straining at the oars of prayer at times can be such a sweet burn in our spirit-muscle.

Just a whiff of the possibility that it matters is all it takes to keep rowing, to keep praying.

Natural Response

Compassion seems to be a natural response, even though it so often feels unnatural.  It is when we see the object of our compassion through the lens of what we, too, have experienced, that we can offer mercy.

This morning's mercy to me came in the form of this awareness, that where I might want to react in anger (ironically, often because of anger towards me), I more naturally want to respond with mercy...because of the mercy that has been shown towards me.

In other words, what someone else is going through...is something, if I'm honest, I also have gone through (or still go through).

Has Prepared

“What no eye has seen, 
    what no ear has heard, 
and what no human mind has conceived
    — the things God has prepared for those who love him—”

-- 1 Corinthians 2:9

Holding You Back

The only thing holding you back is you -- and your willingness to try.

-- Jeff Haden

Telling & Trusting

When we tell people to do their jobs, we get workers. When we trust people to get the job done, we get leaders.

-- Simon Sinek

Lower Level? No!

We always have visions, before a thing is made real.  When we realize that although the vision is real, it is not real in us, then is the time that Satan comes in with his temptations, and we are apt to say it is no use to go on.  Instead of the vision becoming real, there has come the valley of humiliation.

Life is not as idle ore,
But iron dug from central gloom,
And batter'd by the shocks of doom
To shape and use.

God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way.  Every vision will be made real if we will have patience.  Think of the enormous leisure of God!  He is never in a hurry.  We are always in such a frantic hurry.  In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet;  and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality.  Ever since we had the vision God has been at work, getting us into the shape of the ideal, and over and over again we escape from His hand and try to batter ourselves into our own shape.

The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be.  Let HIm put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision.  Don't lose heart in the process.  If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you.

-- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

Essence of Inhumanity

The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity.

-- George Bernard Shaw

What Is Love?

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about what love is. Perhaps, even more, about how it works...how it should work, especially when it isn't clear...how it should work.

Does it mean, for example, that it mean that we forebear with others or respond to them, about things that make it hard to 'be' together?  Is it accommodating?  Is it sensitive?  Or, it is tough?  Does it mean that we pursue or that we need to wait, patiently?

These questions put things in 'either-or' terms.  I suspect love isn't constrained by such definitions; that is, love is much more malleable, less prescriptive than we might like it to be...than simply this or that.

I have turned to a passage in 1 Corinthians for further perspective on what love is:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies. 

Love, it seems to me, is all these things, not just always one or the other. In other words, love is 'both-and', not 'either-or'.  There is a time for everything...and love encompasses time.

So then, the next emergent question appears to be one of timing.  When...do we love with patience, with waiting?  When...do we love with pressure, with confrontation?

At the very least, love appears to be quite imprecise...not very much about seeking to 'get it right'.  This, actually, is quite freeing.

Inevitable

Change is inevitable.  Growth is optional.

-- John Maxwell

Because They Want To

Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it.

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Mother of All Skill

Repetition is the mother of all skill.

-- Tony Robbins

Only Gets Better

Leadership is something that only gets better by doing it.

-- Maynard Webb

CT: Farewell, Cultural Christianity

As American culture changes, the scandal of Christianity is increasingly right up front, exactly where it was in the first century. The shaking of American culture will get us back to the question Jesus asked his disciples at Caesarea Philippi: “Who do you say that I am?” As the Bible Belt recedes, those left standing up for Jesus will be those who, like Simon Peter of old, know how to answer that question. Once Christianity is no longer seen as part and parcel of patriotism, the church must offer more than “What would Jesus do?” moralism and the “I vote values” populism to which we’ve grown accustomed. Good.  Continue here....

-- Russell D. Moore

Blood Into Ink

The purpose of literature is to turn blood into ink.

-- T.S. Eliot

I've been writing thoughts, phrases, and ideas more lately.  Perhaps this helps explain why.

Convinced

We seem to only be convinced of something that is, once we've become convinced of something that isn't.

It is part of the process of knowing, of believing -- to learn what isn't true, often the hard way, helps us believe what is true.

Requires Something

Nearly everything worth having or enjoying requires something.  Rather than simply a curse, perhaps there is something about requirement that affords us the ability to enjoy.

The easier way -- the one with less requirement -- is not the better way afterall.  It reduces our ability to appreciate, even participate in, what we enjoy.

Giving and Receiving

Knowing and understanding is a result of giving and receiving.

Ember

Is an ember something that is dying out or what keeps something burning?

I feel like an ember describes my sense of being the last few weeks; in other words, not much flame.  I am wondering, which direction things are going...that is, which is a more accurate description of me, at the moment...am I dying out or keeping something alive?

My instincts are to do something to make myself feel busier.  But, I don't think I fully trust this instinct...I suspect I need to burn differently for now.

Every Journey

Every journey down is really soil for a journey up.

Largely Through What Happens

If God speaks to us at all other than through such official channels as the Bible and the church, then I think that he speaks to us largely through what happens to us...if we keep our hearts and minds open as well as our ears, if we listen with patience and hope, if we remember at all deeply and honestly, then I think we come to recognize, beyond all doubt, that, however faintly we may hear him, he is indeed speaking to us, and that, however little we may understand of it, his word to each of us is both recoverable and precious beyond telling.

-- Frederick Buechner, Now and Then

...though He uses them, it seems His speaking is in a language beyond the limitations of words. His is a language of knowing, that He teaches me.

The Years Are Short

A compelling perspective on how much ordinary, even inconvenient, things matter.  Because it is often in such things, that we can have the opportunity to be the most present with someone else.

Clear Intention

Knowing what you want, uncomplicated by confusion, is a clear intention.  Your brain obeys clear intentions more easily than confused intentions – that’s why multi-tasking turns out to be so inefficient. Neither task receives adequate focus, and the brain is divided between competing intentions.  Every time you hesitate or feel mixed emotions, your intention is no longer clear.

Think of how hard it has been to make decisions in your own life when you felt ambivalent, indecisive, or unsupported in your decision-making. These factors affect not just you, but the entire situation.  Worse still are decisions that must be made where there is distrust, rivalry, and hidden agendas.  A group of people with mixed motives isn't conducive to reaching any goal smoothly, and when a bad result occurs and outsiders ask, "What were they thinking?” The answer is usually "They were thinking too many things at once."

In every area of life, intentions become murky when you:

• Don’t really know what you want
• Think you don’t deserve to get what you want
• Feel skeptical that any result will come
• Have mixed motives
• Experience inner conflict

The secret to holding focus is to make it effortless. The image of a genius with furrowed brow concentrating like mad is the wrong image.  Awareness likes to be focused when it is pleased – that’s why two people in love can’t tear their eyes off each other.  They drink each other in; there’s no effort involved. So apply your focus to the things that charm you. Put your energy on things you love but also on things that most easily hold your attention and make you feel energized and vital.

-- Deepak Chopra

Other Side of Fear

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

-- George Addair

Fork In The Road

Pain takes us to a fork in the road -- it can cause us to harden ourselves (self-protection) or it can be what opens us up...to more of life.

Pain creates opportunity for us to pay attention to things we otherwise might not.

More Disappointed

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.

-- Mark Twain

Addicted & Bored

We are both addicted and bored...by the familiar worlds we seek to maintain.

Compassion

You may call God love, you may call God goodness, but the best name for God is compassion.

-- Meister Eckhart

This Is No Wall

Big news, there is no wall.  Mistakes make your brain grow.

-- Jo Boaler

...read more here about how our mindset affects our growth.

You Don't Care

If you aren't working hard, you probably don't care a whole lot about what you're working on.

-- Ann Handley

Rigor and Growth

As I reflect on my past, as well as on what I see around me, it seems to me that rigor is a key ingredient to our ability to grow as human beings.  Challenge creates opportunity for discovery within ourselves of things that just can't be gotten to otherwise.

Conversely, the avoidance of things requiring rigor often leads to atrophy and a stunting of our growth.

This seems to be true physically, mentally, regarding self-awareness, and spiritually.

None Of Us

None of us see things fully the way they really are....

Obliteration

The obliteration of biodiversity in the living world has received much less attention than climate changes, depletion of irreplaceable resources, and other transformations of the physical environment. It would be wise to observe the following principle: if we save the living world, we will also automatically save the physical world, because in order to achieve the first, we must also achieve the second. But if we save only the physical world, which appears our current inclination, we will ultimately lose them both.

-- E.O. Wilson, Pulitzer Prize winner

...for more, click here.

The Speech of the Sky

Last evening was one of the more beautiful evenings I've enjoyed in this life!  The nature of Wilderness State Park, MI.

More pics here....

CT: We Need to Start Talking about Sin and Righteousness Again

Most people believe the big cultural shift happened in the 1960s. But when I investigated the books and culture of the late 1940s, I found that the transformation happened then. There were tons of best-selling books, and some movies, arguing that the notion of human sinfulness was outdated, and that we should embrace the idea that we’re really wonderful.

When you lose awareness of sin and start thinking that, deep down, human beings are pretty wonderful, you lose the struggle of character building. Building character is not like being better than someone else at a career. It’s conquering your own weakness. But you won’t make that effort if you lose a sense of what your weakness is and where it comes from.

We’ve encouraged generations to think highly of themselves. In 1950, the Gallup organization asked high-school seniors, “Are you a very important person?” Back then, 12 percent said yes. Gallup asked the same question in 2005, and 80 percent said yes.

There are surveys called “The Narcissism Test” that ask whether respondents agree with statements like, “I like to be the center of attention because I’m so extraordinary,” or “Somebody should write a biography about me.” The median narcissism score has gone up 30 percent in 20 years.

Our economy encourages us to promote ourselves with social media, to brand ourselves and get “likes.” In theory, we know humility is important, but we live in a culture of self-promotion.

You may be able to build character and greatness through disciplined effort, but I don’t think you can experience the highest joy without grace. Nor can you experience tranquility. That only comes from gratitude...continue.

-- David Brooks

The Voices of the Earth & Water

The nature of Mackinac Island, MI

Fuel of Nature

Nature is fuel for the soul.

-- Richard Ryan

From the Upper Peninsula in Michigan today...in search of fuel.

If We Ever Wake At All

We awake, if we ever wake at all, to mystery.

-- Annie Dillard

Chief Want

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fighting A Hard Battle

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

-- Ian Maclaren

Force

Force, though necessary at certain moments, may win the battle, but it rarely wins the war relationship-wise.

One Father

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.

-- George Herbert



The Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

-- Psalms 103:13

How To Trust

Above all else, guard your heart, 
  for everything you do flows from it.

-- Proverbs 4:23

How?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
  and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
  and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
  fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
  and nourishment to your bones.

-- Proverbs 3:5-8

What is the greatest inhibitor to trust?  Could it be fear?  Wm. Paul Young, author of The Shack, puts it this way:  Fear Is Your Own Creation

Have no fear of sudden disaster
  or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
for the Lord will be at your side
  and will keep your foot from being snared.

-- Proverbs 3:25-26

We dis-empower our fears by learning to trust God:

My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
  and do not resent his rebuke,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
  as a father the son he delights in.

-- Proverbs 3:11-12

How To Not Hold Back

Go all the way with it. Do not back off. For once, go all the goddamn way with what matters.

-- Ernest Hemingway

How to Be Alive

Being a good steward of your pain . . . involves being alive to your life. It involves taking the risk of being open, of reaching out, of keeping in touch with the pain as well as the joy of what happens because at no time more than at a painful time do we live out of the depths of who we are instead of out of the shallows.

-- Frederick Buechner, The Clown in the Belfry

How To Grieve

I'm not claiming expertise on this one...grieving seems to be a continually easy to avoid.

Yesterday, we had the joy of moving our daughter, Drew, into her new place with her now husband, Ryan.  Upon returning to our home, I felt a deeper ache than I had anticipated.  This sentence ran through my mind:  'She's not coming back this time...' (at least in the same way that she has before).  Though I couldn't be happier for her (and him), something inside me hurts.

I need to grieve.  I think this means things like, not trying to deny what I feel, not trying to find something else to make me feel better, not trying to 'move on'.  I think it means staying in something for a while and letting it take me somewhere...like through something.  ...so that it can give me something else, like an unexpected gift.

There are greater losses to grieve, to be sure, than the good transition of a child into marriage.  So, I feel the beckoning of not taking this too seriously.  On the other hand, I'm guessing that part of healthy grieving is not minimizing our sense of loss wherever we run into it.

Grief is love not wanting to let go.

-- Earl A. Grollman, Living with Loss

Grief is a sign that we loved something more than ourselves....

-- Joan Chittister, Gospel Days

How To Believe

Unless he obeys, a man cannot believe.

-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

How To Learn

We learn primarily by doing; from doing.

...particularly from what we do repeatedly.

How To Say No

For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age....

-- Titus 2:11-12

True

We tend to think of truth too much in terms of either / or.  Truth is this or that, not often both.  This is true, that isn't.  That isn't true, because this is and so on.

I got here by listening to a friend talk the other day.  As he described his experience, I found myself wondering if it was true.  I wondered, in part, because it seemed like it was true...what he was saying.  On the other hand, I don't know that I would describe my experience the same way.  So experience is true?  If his is true, then what does that say about mine?  If mine is true, then what does that say about his?

The more I thought about it, the more is seemed possible (likely even) that both of our experiences are true.  That it isn't that only one or the other...is true.

What is true seems much bigger than trying to figure out which it is, at any given time.  What is true is.  The only thing that is untrue is something that says that what is true isn't.  I may be getting tangled up in words here, but the greater reality, it seems to me, is that truth is what really is.  All that untruth, or lies, can do is say that something that is true isn't...or may not be.  It can't really change anything about is really true.

This is freeing, in many unexpected ways.  I don't have to encounter what is true in the same way you do.  And, I don't have to require that you do so, in the same way that I do.  We both can experience what is true...in wildly different and in similar ways.  Conformity is not necessary for truth.

A Social Experiment

Stranger Than We Can Imagine

The universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.

-- J.B.S. Haldane

Stepping Away

Stepping away lets you expand on what you’ve already worked on and removes you from work, so you can think clearly.

-- Gregory Ciotti

Goals

Most goals require focus to be achieved.

Really?  Tell me something I don't already know.  Well, the irony seems to be that though we know it, we still don't seem too committed to focusing in our lives.  Perhaps, this is due to so much distraction around us.  Perhaps, this is why this statement is as true as it is.

I have to concentrate on things I desire, so that goals can emerge from them, so that I can aim my life at what I want, at what is important to me.

Tornado of Emotion

I feel like a tornado of emotions just blew through me.

I'm looking around at the debris, in wonder, and marvel at what just happened...through our first daughter's wedding.

Out-Shine

Nothing can out-shine the glory of God...or really even come close to doing so.

The line from a hymn says 'Though the eyes of sinful man, thy glories may not see...'. But whether we see it or not, nothing changes about how this is true.

Week of the Bride, Pt 6: Wedding 'Blessing'

Fatherly Blessing...to Drew and Ryan:

I may not have lived long enough to know, but other than the day you are born, I'm not sure there can be a happier day for a father and mother…than the day of your child's wedding.

From our view of faith, marriage is sacred.  Sacred, in part, because marriage symbolizes at least  two things -- our desire and our commitment.

Drew and Ryan, your desire to be married is a testimony to God, because it demonstrates your commitment to sacrificially love another person, in a way that creates a context for new life...a family. Your love for God will be what binds and sustains this commitment to love each other. And, your love for each other will be what binds and sustains your commitment to love your children, should God bless you with them.

You each have been uniquely made…to pursue these desires and commitments, both toward God and towards each other and towards the combination of you two for your family. Trust that uniqueness in yourselves and trust that uniqueness in each other...something easier to say, than to do. Seek God in everything…in the good times and in the bad times and, perhaps more importantly, in the in-between times. Assume (part of trusting) that God is in you and assume that He is in each other.

Drew, I have so enjoyed our times together and specifically over the last year. Too many to review all here, but I have received an unexpected comfort from your nightly 'good night!' coming down the hall. I will miss that. I have also enjoyed our lunches together...just listening to each other and talking. I will miss that. Can we do a lot more for someone else than to listen to them (to keep listening to them, even when we suspect we've heard it all?)

You have such a beautiful sensitivity about you -- to life, to relationships, and to God. I love this about you and the opportunity to see you again in this way...I know of some of the depths of your desire for God. I will predict that you will encounter both deep pain and deep joy because of this sensitivity. Don't let anything or anyone take this from you; it is your gift, from God. It is your unique way of following him and drawing others to him. All gifts are meant to be given…. Give yours. Give yours to Ryan, even when he's not yet all that he will be.

Ryan, you have an unassuming strength that I admire...you join in, and you stay present. You don't seem to make assumptions easily. You have a deep desire to do what is right and good and to follow God. You step toward things, even when they are hard. You have an ability to be persistent -- committed to see things through to the end, even if it is a long way to go (this last year has been an example of that). I love this about you. Ryan, this is part of the gift you have been given. And, because all true giving is sacrificial, I predict that you too will experience pain and joy because of your gift. Don't let anything take this from you; it is your gift, from God. Give what you have been given by Him to others. Give it to Drew, when she's not yet all that she will be.

Drew & Ryan, marriage has purposes that are greater than you two, as individuals. It is through your pursuit of God individually and together that you will each become more of what God has made you to be -- Drew for your beauty to shine, Ryan for your strength to fight and endure. Ryan, like I have had, you now have the wonderful opportunity to help present Drew blameless before God. Drew, you have an opportunity to embolden Ryan's strength and ability to stand humbly in this crumbling and sometimes cruel world. Please know that when both of you do this, you will be reflecting and giving something glorious to those around you.

I am so pleased and grateful for what God is joining together, in the two of you, in your marriage today. You both have my (our) unhesitant blessing. We are thrilled to celebrate with you -- your desire and your commitment to each other and to God.

I love you…both.

Week of the Bride, Pt 5: Final Preparations

What a day filled with beauty!  The beauty of a shared goal, tomorrow's celebration.  The beauty of God's flowering earth, literal and figurative.  The beauty of friends and family...of coming together. The beauty of music and words, and people who love God.  ...of singing, of laughter, of fun, of food and dancing, and yes, even the beauty of tears.  The beauty of preparation.  The beauty of anticipation...of hoping.

Why so much of it?  Is it worth it...all the preparation?  You bet it is.  It taps into the deepest parts of us, to join something we so deeply desire, to give of ourselves for even moments of beauty and joy.  We live for moments of aspiration and for what they reflect of God.

These kinds of things help us know that we really are getting ready for something beyond ourselves and we know this most deeply when we do this together.

Week of the Bride, Pt 4: Gift & Gratitude

This morning's woodsy walk did its good work in me -- it gave me a gift:

I am so grateful for the gift of Ryan to my daughter, as her husband, now just in two days.  Unless I believe that I deserve good things due to my efforts, which couldn't possibly be the case, then everything good that we receive is nothing short of a gift from God.  In a consequence-laden world like ours, and with my own baggage in tow, that God would bless my beautiful girl with a man who fears Him and loves her...is both a marvel and a gift beyond description.

Week of the Bride, Pt 3: Valley & Routine

So far, I am calling today, 'the valley'.  The brimming 'sense of anticipation' cannot be perpetually sustained and, perhaps, goodly so.  In a matter of hours (days), we will all be converted to a rush of something, if not the details themselves, the actual engulfing of the event itself.  And, that, I look forward to immensely...because 'the thing' IS happening!

But today's low spot seems rightly a more subdued day (though it's not yet over...).  A time of reflection, low-grade anticipation and building, of doing the final behind-the-scenes stuff of preparation.  Last night, opportunity for friction arose...as well as the appeal (to me) of avoidance.  I awoke this morning a bit anxious about it.  But, I stuck to the pattern of living that has served me so well in recent years and exerted myself physically, and thereby spiritually, to discover anew where my strength truly lies...in what I believe, because of Who I believe in, Who sustains me.

Here again, I risk too much about me, but I sense the moment was recognized by others in my family last night and am grateful that I chose not to use the force of self-protection, but rather a kind of patience (although, certainly, an imperfect one...given some of my internals).  The greater things are true (though it's not that the lesser things are not...), and it is those that I thankfully rediscovered this morning.  I can be something good, whether I fully and perfectly am or am perceived to be that way or not.  Others are living a dynamic as well, in their own lives, and that also actually can be deeply trusted.

The beauty of the sunrise whispered this truth to my waking mind and now the morning of these truths are again in full-bloom.  I am alive and well and goodness is on its way (like it always is).

From the valley...of the 'Week of the Bride'.

Week of the Bride, Pt 2: History & Gratitude

We watched 'home videos' last night.

Wow...how young we were.  And, to think that we (I) was entrusted with real kid's lives.... There is something powerful about history, especially in an age where the 'present' is so emphasized.  There are reasons for this, even some good ones.  But, reflection on the past can often, easily bring one back to one's knees.  We really had no ideas what we were doing, but we sure thought (hoped) we did.  We really didn't.  Perhaps, there is a grace in our naivete.

And, the video version of 'life' then doesn't capture all that was going on.  There was some real pain happening, too.  As I reflected on all of that this morning, I realized how grateful I am that God has not only preserved us, but also saved us.  Us, and our kids.  This is the real WOW.

And now we are preparing a wedding.  A wedding to celebrate a commitment to do this all again, in the form of a new family.  God's grace will again be needed.  But, God's grace will also be more than enough and will result in an equally deep sense of gratitude.

I am grateful...for the love of our God.

Week of the Bride, Pt 1: Thoughts & Emotions

In my own, small corner of the world, I am designating this as 'Week of the Bride', from a father's perspective.  My oldest daughter, Drew, gets married this coming Saturday.  Since this is the first marriage of one of my children, I think it good (for my sake, in nothing else) to capture at least some of the thoughts and emotions, particularly that I experience this week.

Thoughts: We are transfixed by both the temporal and the transcendent. Temporal -- what will the weather be like for this 'outdoor' wedding (we aren't the first to temp this fate)?  Transcendent -- what will this kind of beauty do to me?  How will it melt into and emanate from my daughter and son-in-law?  We are dealing with timeless forces here.  May a portion of God be reflected well.

Emotions:  I have had the words, but this morning the emotions, too -- that I will truly miss my daughter.  I sat a bit slumped on the stairs with my wife as tears flooded my eyes (yes, it's only Monday...).  As I hold something for my daughter, she does the same for me, too.  I will miss that, and her.  I am also over-joyed for her and this most natural of unfoldings of life.  I couldn't be happier.

Difficult and Not Tried

Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

-- G.K. Chesterton

One has described it this way, not a populist message...(thanks for forwarding, Randy).

This is what the Lord says — your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:

“I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is best for you,
who directs you in the way you should go."

-- Isaiah 48:17

Hours Needed Earning Minimum Wage to Afford an Apartment

This pokes at something I've been latently pondering, regarding what money means in our society, what it means to me, and how the two are connected.  I think about this locally, when I see some of the disparity in our community housing...from the poor to the rich.  I wonder about what my own view of money indicates, as it relates to the racial tensions we're feeling nationally.  I am concerned about how all of this fits into something globally, where it really is impossible (unsustainable) for everyone to live (eat, drink, sleep, work) like I do.  

Click here...for more details.

Kind to Yourself

I hope you are kind to yourself. That you give yourself the time and space to figure things out. That’s not a license for laziness. I worked, and worked hard, in my 20s. And I wouldn’t trade the experiences I had during that time. But if there is a 22-year-old out there reading this and feeling adrift, I have this to say to you: Been there, done that. And look at me -- it all turned out better than fine, right?

For those of you with great career jobs already lined up, I have a warning: Achieving success and power will not be a function of your job, nor how hard you work at that job. Go in with that mindset and you will emerge in your 30s or 40s, exhausted and disillusioned. You are not your job. You are the sum of your thoughts, your intentions and most importantly, your actions.

-- Suze Orman

Not What's Really Important

If you’re not guided by a clear sense of purpose, you’re likely to fritter away your time and energy on obtaining the most tangible, short-term signs of achievement, not what’s really important to you.

-- Clayton M Christensen

This reminds of this reading:

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called....

-- 1 Timothy 6:11-12

Take hold...of what's important...to you.

Saints and Sinners

The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past while every sinner (should have) a future.

-- Oscar Wilde

Uncomfortableness

The uncomfortableness we seem to be most comfortable with is our own, most likely because we are most familiar with it.  We are less comfortable with other people's uncomfortableness (unless it is a lot like ours).  It is like we, in an illogical way, love the things we hate about ourselves.

CT: Forgiving Her Sister's Murderer, Face to Face

I had built this wall that was convenient for me. I thought, ‘Because you haven’t apologized to me, that absolves me of the responsibility of reaching out to you.'

I felt my heart, hard and rigid, cracking open. I had always made a divide between Nancy’s killer and me. Him: bad murderer. Me: innocent victims’ family member. The truth was, there was no division between us before God —- we were both flawed and fallen.

It’s not okay what you did, but I am not going to hate you. I am not going to wish evil on you. I am going to wish the opposite. I am going to wish that you will be redeemed.  Continue here....

-- Jeanne Bishop

Standard Objection

One of the standard objections to the Christian message, as we saw, goes like this: how can you say the kingdom of heaven has arrived on earth, when it's obvious, looking around you, that nothing of the kind has happened? Things are still pretty bleak. Often Jesus' followers seem to be part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Jesus' own explanation of how the kingdom works is still the classic answer to this question. What did you expect: that God would send in the tanks like a totalitarian dictator, crush the opposition and set up a 'kingdom' which would leave half the world bruised and resentful? What sort of a 'god' would that be? No! God will bring in his kingdom by the same means, the same strange process, that he seems to use in the natural world. Seeds will be sown; many will apparently be lost, but others will be powerfully fruitful.  ...the kingdom has indeed been launched; yes, it is making its way in the world; but no, it isn't doing so in the way you might have imagined. It is doing so in the way God has imagined: by the Sower himself becoming the seed sown in good soil, and rising again to celebrate the harvest of God's new creation.

-- N.T. Wright, Matthew 13

Unrequited Love

Unrequited love is the love human beings experience most of the time. The very need to be fully requited may be to turn from the possibilities of love itself. Men and women have always had difficulty with the way a love returned hardly ever resembles a love given, but unrequited love may be the form that love mostly takes; for what affection is ever returned over time in the same measure or quality with which it is given? … And whom could we know so well and so intimately through all the twists and turns of a given life that we could show them exactly, the continuous and appropriate form of affection they need?

The great discipline seems to be to give up wanting to control the manner in which we are requited, and to forgo the natural disappointment that flows from expecting an exact and measured reciprocation.

We seem to have been born into a world where love, except for brilliant, exceptional moments, seems to exist from one side only, ours — and that may be the difficulty and the revelation and the gift — to see love as the ultimate letting go and through the doorway of that affection, make the most difficult sacrifice of all, giving away the very thing we want to hold forever.

-- David Whyte, Consolations

Love and reciprocation do not seem to be bed-fellows.  Though, at the beginning this can be at the very least disappointing, there is great wisdom and redemption in this discovery.

Others Expected Of Me

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

-- Bonnie Ware

Consider both ways we can feel this.  On the one hand, we can feel this from people like parents or organizations (churches), institutions (schools)...things corporate (businesses), etc.  On the other, though, we can also feel this heavily from society itself, to conform to its own ideas...things like acceptance, sports, the 'Jones' effect, sexuality, rebellion, etc.

It is hard to be true to oneself, especially when we largely are still trying to learn / understand what that is, who we even are.  It takes courage.

You Think You Know

You have to be careful what you think you know.

-- Simon Sinek

We make assumptions about people and this leads us to conclusions about them...conclusions that often are not helpful to our relationships with them.

We also make conclusions about ourselves, almost as if we are imagining that there just isn't that much more to know, when we focus only the patterns we are currently familiar with.  And these, in turn, reinforce our assumptions about what is going in others.

And, we make conclusions about God, discussion for another day....

We simply must have the courage to wonder about who we are (even doubt, at times); not only will we discover that our conclusions are premature, but we will also discover that our relationships will grow.

Sisters: Doubt and Wonder

Doubt is Wonder's skeptical sister.

...and Lord knows in a world of fallen wonder, we need some healthy skepticism.

Crucible of Doubt

Doubt leads me to a crucible, that can refine me.

Must Be Won

The mind can be convinced, but the heart must be won.

-- Simon Sinek

Presumptuous

Let me tell you this: Faith comes and goes. But if it is presumptuous to think that faith will stay forever, it is just as presumptuous to think that unbelief will.

-- Flannery O’Connor

We Go, We Come

We go, we come.
We pass
in and out
with doubt,
until we see
Something more
than just me.
Free,
to be
without
the need
we so often feel
for others
to see
what we already are,
as we
come
and go.

...inspired by the writings of Gynnae Hochstetler.

Hurry Sickness

Hurry Sickness:  Our computers, our movies, our sex lives, our prayers — they all run faster now than ever before. And the more we fill our lives with time-saving devices and time-saving strategies, the more rushed we feel.

-- James Gleick, Faster: The Acceleration of Just About Everything

This just doesn't feel true, it IS true.  I, for one, am likely a bit 'sick' in this regard.  I have to choose space and choose slow, as it doesn't often choose me (although I fear I may have missed its 'selection' of me recently, during my post-knee-surgery season).  In other words, I have to build it in.  If I don't, I start to feel a kind of nauseousness in spirit.

I awoke this morning feeling the effects of this illness.  I need to go to do something...slowly.

Maps To Your Intentions

Own your words.  Your words are maps to your intentions.

-- Chris Brogan

Meddling

The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

-- Theodore Roosevelt

Something Proportional

While the whole world is not a function of cause-and-effect, we tend to get out of things something proportional to what we put into them.

At another level, we don't get nearly what (bad) we do deserve (bad) and much more of what we don't deserve (good).

But apathy and passivity are not excused by these things.  We so seem to grow mostly by how we engage with life.

Not Quite Enough Time

To achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time.

-- Leonard Bernstein

A New Perspective For Moms

A good mother often seems to question herself (a kind of humility)...it is a gift to know that this translates to a goodness children just innately know from their moms.  Moms are not perfect; aren't meant to be either.  They are meant to be real.  What more can prepare a child to live in this world?

I am grateful for what my mother did for me and for the mother to my kids -- such an instinctual beauty!

There is a joy in giving. Perhaps this is why there is also a thing called 'mothers joy', because mothers have such a unique opportunity and capacity to give, not necessarily because of the joy they will receive, but because they invariably receive it, at one point or another, in one way or another. Can there be a greater joy, then to birth and nurture life in others? Yes, the joy can become unrequited, but nonetheless, the giving continues and the result is still realized, as depicted, at least in part, in this video.

Remains In Sight

The dynamic of friendship is almost always underestimated as a constant force in human life: a diminishing circle of friends is the first terrible diagnostic of a life in deep trouble: of overwork, of too much emphasis on a professional identity, of forgetting who will be there when our armored personalities run into the inevitable natural disasters and vulnerabilities found in even the most average existence.

Friendship is a mirror to presence and a testament to forgiveness. Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through another’s eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn. A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them. An undercurrent of real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy. All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness.

-- David Whyte, Consolations

As I mentioned a couple days ago, I am interested these days in the role of friendship in our lives...and, in particular, the concern that it may have become something less than it used to be. Among the many good thoughts above, this line line stood out to me:

A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them.

We need to remain in sight of each other; we are built to be so.

Hearts Of Men

I received a link to this movie trailer from William Young (The Shack). He, Bill Thrall and Bruce McNicol (The Cure), and Dan Allender are in it.  It is interesting to see how our views of God are being shaped these days...knowing that they have been 'shaped' in every other 'days' (times) as well.

Being Pulled

If you hang around with people who behave worse than you, pretty soon you’ll start being pulled in that direction.

It’s very important always to live your life by an inner scorecard, not an outer scorecard.

-- Warran Buffett

Friendship and The Better Part

In the course of the years a close friendship will always reveal the shadow in the other as much as ourselves, to remain friends we must know the other and their difficulties and even their sins and encourage the best in them, not through critique but through addressing the better part of them, the leading creative edge of their incarnation, thus subtly discouraging what makes them smaller, less generous, less of themselves.

-- David Whyte, Consolations

A rather beautiful description, it seems to me, of the higher good of friendship.  Friendship seems to have lost its favor these days, to both our chagrin and, perhaps, demise.  It is well worth resurrecting some healthy contemplation / discussion about it.

Stand Together

Many things which cannot be overcome when they stand together yield themselves up when taken little by little.

-- Sertorius

Oxygen To The Soul

We should seize every opportunity to give encouragement. Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.

-- George M. Adams

Inescapable Egotism

Even the innocent, even those in whom Christ lives by charity, even those who want with their whole heart to love one another, remain divided and separate. Although they are already one in Him, their union is hidden from them, because it still only possesses the secret substance of their souls.

But their minds and their judgments and their desires, their human characters and faculties, their appetites and their ideals are all imprisoned in the slag of an inescapable egotism which pure love has not yet been able to refine.

As long as we are on earth, the love that unites us will bring us suffering by our very contact with one another, because this love is the resetting of a Body of broken bones. Even saints cannot live with saints on this earth without some anguish, without some pain at the differences that come between them.

-- Thomas Merton

Lily

How To Stop A Bullet

The best way to stop a bullet is a job.

-- Van Jones

...click here to learn more.

Always Right

The time is always right to do what is right.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

...seems especially appropriate right now, given the status of unrest in places like Baltimore.

But, the right thing does require some deeper consideration.  For example, there is something right that is needed in this moment...from the community, its citizens, its leadership, its police.  However, this isn't happening in a vacuum, so there is something right that needed to be considered before now, too.  What are the more significant contributing factors, that create the context for the situations we are now facing?

I heard a comment as a segment of a radio program was ending.  It went something like this: police cannot control society by themselves.  Society and police need to work together to control society.

It is time....

Breaking Things Down A Bit

There are many issues tangled up in the on-going discussion / debates about homosexuality and marriage.  We see the fabric of things, but also have to acknowledge that there are many threads to it.  Each thread is both significant and insignificant, at the same time.  But, nonetheless, we have a fabric.   Here are some of the threads, it seems to me:

• What is marriage?
• Who defines it...society, government, religion?
• How are 'rights' involved, from a civic perspective?
• Where has governance, based on definitions / assumptions on the first question(s), created the problems we see now in the last question (ex, if the societal rights / benefits target a narrow definition of marriage than society now wants, where does that leave us...morality aside?)
• What about sexuality?  Our perspectives on this have influenced our assumptions / definitions of marriage (as an institution...and, likely, otherwise).
• How dynamic is our sexuality (is it only hard-coded or are there other factors involved, too?)?
• How do we determine what we believe about what is constant and what isn't...from a religious, cultural, or societal perspective?

Click here for one summary of the Supreme Court discussion yesterday....

I get the feeling there are too many threads, than any one of us can keep good track of.  Life is both science and mystery.  Is the more significant / helpful question something like, how do we live (what is our disposition?) with things we don't fully (or even largely) understand?  What are we afraid of?  What do we turn to, in an effort to calm our fears?  

Why I Haven't Spoken Out on Gay Marriage--till Now

We can’t control our passions (our desires), but we do control our actions. Today we think of sexual desires as mandating behavior; we assume these desires must be obeyed. But for most of history people have thought that this desire should be directed and controlled. It’s not the case that heterosexuals can have unlimited sex, but gays aren’t allowed. Not every straight person gets married. Not everyone’s marriage works out. Some spouses become sick in mind or body, and sex is no longer a possibility. The celibate path, down through history, is much more crowded with straights than gays, simply because of their numbers in the general population. Advertising pushes sex at us so relentlessly that it’s hard to believe, but you actually can live without it.

Bob Dylan, of all people, put it forcefully in his March 2015 interview in AARP Magazine. He was talking about his new album of classic American love songs, and the interviewer asked if young listeners would find them “corny.” He said, “These songs are songs of great virtue. That’s what they are. People’s lives today are filled with vice and the trappings of it. … We don’t see the people that vice destroys. We just see the glamor of it.” We see the beautiful and enviable young people partying; we don’t see the 50 or 60 or 70-year-old whom no one wants anymore.

By the same token, the disintegration of community is hard on people who want to live by the old morality. These days, living without a romantic partner appears to be the same thing as living without love. But life without sex didn’t always mean life without love, for love used to come from many other sources. Families were less nuclear; leftover cousins and widows still had a place. Even if you didn’t have a romantic partner, you still had friends and family who felt you had a real claim on their help and love. Communities were closer. Neighbors kept an eye on each other. (That last was an early casualty of the sexual revolution, for we started to think neighbors should keep their eyes to themselves.)

Same-sex, non-sexual love is unlike romantic love in that it, obviously, doesn’t include a sexual component, but it can be every bit as strong. It is to our loss that the concept of nonsexual friendship love has largely vanished. Those bonds between men and men, and between women and women, run strong and deep, and are foundational to society. Under the traditional morality, it was never expected that people would live without love, or live all alone. Today, loneliness is epidemic. 

-- Frederica Mathewes-Green

A lot to consider; I would recommend reading the full post here...especially in light today's Supreme Court case(s).

Sexuality: Total Selves

We need to realize that sexuality involves our total selves – mind, body, emotions, and spirit. God created us that way, and sexuality is a powerful force in our lives for good or for evil.

--  Cecil Murphey, Not Quite Healed

CT: Our Bodies Were Made for You

It’s not easy to live as embodied creatures today (to say nothing of previous eras). All too often, human bodies are treated (by others, and even ourselves) as commodities or instruments of sexual satisfaction. They are bought and sold, mutilated by others, and hit with self-inflicted harms. Yet Moll reminds us how high a privilege it is to dwell in flesh. “Our bodies, the Bible says, are the temples of God—the place where God lives.”

The spiritual life can seem like an endless, futile attempt to overcome the very fact that we have bodies. But Moll is deeply reassuring. He encourages us to recognize, celebrate, and strengthen the body–soul connections that are part of God’s good design. Pain breaks us open, allowing us to become kinder and more generous toward others who suffer and preparing us to recognize God’s suffering in the person of Christ.

We can choose to discipline our lives, both body and spirit, with worship, prayer, and service. These practices put our bodies and souls on the same page, supplying “the routines necessary to train our bodies, and thus our minds as well, to follow after Jesus.”

In societies influenced by the artificial mind–body divide, spiritual pursuits might enliven the heart while seeming to leave the body untouched. The best the body can do, from this perspective, is to avoid sin. Its only job is to not interfere with the soul’s progression toward heaven. What Your Body Knows About God is just the right antidote to this platonic way of thinking.

“Spirit and flesh, it turns out, are intimately intertwined,” writes Moll. “And understanding how things work—how our bodies are designed to commune with God—can enhance our faith and give us a fuller picture of God’s work in the world and in our lives. As we connect with God and invite others to join this life of prayer, worship, community, and service,” writes Moll, “we align our biological and spiritual selves with the Creator of the universe and the most fundamental guide for life—loving God and loving others.”  Continue here....

-- Jenell Williams Paris, a review of Rob Moll's book, What Your Body Knows About God

B&W

I have often wondered what makes black & white photographs so compelling.  I'm not claiming to have figured it out, but I think B&W appeals more to our sense of imagination, than color does.  Color answers what we wonder about in B&W photographs; it removes the mystery of what it might really be.  B & W is real, but something has been removed...obviously, the color.  And this leaves us open a bit, to wonder more...about something.

Take, for example, the two photos above; which is more compelling to look at?  Perhaps the subtleties of photographic content bears the answer, but I wonder about the simple, intangible effects of B&W.  Somehow (that professionals could likely easily explain), there is something that draws you more in the B&W photo.

Or, these samples...from here:

Self-Coaching

I have become more interested in self-coaching lately.  There are things that I want to do and things I don't want to do.  I need to hear myself repeat these things...to coach myself accordingly.

Perhaps this feels helpful as a way of lifting certain things more into my focus...in a world where more and more information competes for my attention.

Where He Can't

All coaching is, is taking a player where he can’t take himself.

-- Bill McCartney