The Fam - Easter '15

One of the joys of Easter!

Easter: Day of Days!

Easter is a day to put everything upside down and inside out.

...once more, they are told not to be afraid (v 5). What is there to be afraid of, if Easter has dealt with the greatest monster of all, death itself? Why should you be afraid of anything, if Jesus has been raised from the dead, if the old world has cracked open and a new world has been born?

Easter always looks outwards. From the very start, the news that Jesus is risen contains a command: 'Go!' Go, first to Galilee; go back to where it began, back to your roots to meet the risen Jesus there and watch him transform everything, including your oldest memories. And, as you obey the command of the angel, Jesus himself may perhaps meet you in person (v 9). Take hold of him. Worship him. This is his day, the Day of Days. Make it yours, too.

-- N.T. Wright, Matthew 28

We are being forever invited to something much more than the temptation surrounding us now...because HE IS ALIVE afterall!

Holy Saturday

Christians need to observe a Holy Saturday moment. On Holy Saturday, there is nothing you can do except wait.

We aren't sure why we've got to this place, why things aren't going as we wanted or planned, and the life seems to have drained out of it all. That's a Holy Saturday moment. Do what has to be done, and wait for God to act in his own way and his own time.

-- N.T. Wright

Good Friday

Overwhelmed with horror at what we are seeing, we join the crowds as they hurry along behind the soldiers with their prisoner. Forget the calm tableau of so many historic paintings of the scene, with Mary and John standing at a discreet distance from the foot of Jesus' cross. In the Middle East, then as now, there were always more people in the crowd than would fit into the small streets, always people pushing and shoving. The soldiers might keep people at arm's length, but not much more. There were probably fifty people within ten feet of Jesus, jostling, shouting, jeering, pointing, spitting. Some weeping.

You could tell the story a thousand different ways, and they'd all be true. Jesus' followers quickly came to tell it in such a way as to bring out what Jesus himself had been trying to say all along, and what Matthew has been trying to tell us through- out his gospel: this is the event through which Jesus became king. King of the Jews. King of the world.

To see how Matthew has done this, you have to imagine yourself, in that crowd, as someone who has prayed and sung the Psalms all your life. The Psalms turn the hard lumps of Israel's story and hopes into liquid poetry, flowing along like a great river, carrying you with it. And as you stand at the foot of the cross, you have a nightmarish sequence of flashbacks, of déjà vu moments, watching Israel's hopes and dreams come to life, or rather to death, in front of your eyes. Bits and pieces of the Psalms, acted out right there. Jesus is offered sour wine to drink. They cast lots for his clothes. They hail him as 'king of the Jews'. They mock him with his own words. And, after three hours of darkness, Jesus screams out the words that begin the Psalm (22) where some of those things happen: 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' The fulfilment has come, and it is a moment of utter terror and hopelessness. It is as though the sun were to rise one day and it would be a black sun, bringing a darkness deeper than the night itself.

As you stand there in this strange, powerful mixture of recognition and horror, bring bit by bit into the picture the stories on which you have lived. Bring the hopes you had when you were young. Bring the bright vision of family life, of success in sport or work or art, the dreams of exciting adventures in far-off places. Bring the joy of seeing a new baby, full of promise and possibility. Bring the longings of your heart. They are all fulfilled here, though not in the way you imagined. This is the way God fulfilled the dreams of his people. This is how the coming king would overcome all his enemies.

Or bring the fears and sorrows you had when you were young. The terror of violence, perhaps at home. The shame of failure at school, of rejection by friends. The nasty comments that hurt you then and hurt you still. The terrible moment when you realized a wonderful relationship had come to an end. The sudden, meaningless death of someone you loved very much. They are all fulfilled here, too. God has taken them upon himself, in the person of his Son. This is the earthquake moment, the darkness-at-noon moment, the moment of terror and sudden faith, as even the hard-boiled Roman soldier blurts out at the end. (Don't forget that 'Son of God' was a regular title claimed by Caesar, his boss.)

But then bring the hopes and sorrows of the world. Bring the millions who are homeless because of flood or famine. Bring the children orphaned by AIDS or war. Bring the politicians who begin by longing for justice and end up hoping for bribes. Bring the beautiful and fragile earth on which we live. Think of God's dreams for his creation, and God's sorrow at its ruin.

As we stand there by the cross, let the shouting and pushing and the angry faces fade away for a moment, and look at the slumped head of Jesus. The hopes and fears of all the years are met in him, here on the cross. God chose Israel to be his way of rescuing the world. God sent Jesus to be his way of rescuing Israel. Jesus went to the cross to fulfil that double mission. His cross, planted in the middle of the jostling, uncomprehending, mocking world of his day and ours, stands as the symbol of a victory unlike any other. A love unlike any other. A God unlike any other.

-- N.T. Wright, on Matthew 27:33-56

Challenge

Can anyone grow, without challenge?

Exercise Makes You Smarter

"Exercise," she writes in this New York Times article, "...does more to bolster thinking than thinking does."

-- Gretchen Reynolds, The First 20 Minutes

Speak Today

The point isn't so much that something new has to be said; I' m not so sure there is that much that is really all that new (as the saying goes, "the more things change, the more they stay the same"). The point is, that it is being said, that it needs to be said...that someone in this time and place is saying it.  Speak today...with your life.  ...use words, if you have to.

Human

Great leaders don't see themselves as great; they see themselves as human.

-- Simon Sinek

CT: Lent -- An Emptying For Others

This is the wonderful exchange which, out of his measureless benevolence, he has made with us, that, by his descent to earth, he has prepared an ascent to heaven for us; that, by taking on our mortality, he has conferred his immortality upon us; that, accepting our weakness, he has strengthened us by his power; that, receiving our poverty unto himself, he has transferred his wealth to us; that, taking the weight of our iniquity upon himself (which oppressed us), he has clothed us with his righteousness.

-- John Calvin

That’s good news! Christ’s whole life was lived on behalf of others, a continuous pursuit of others’ wellbeing. And Christ’s fast in the wilderness is a crucial example of that reality. So if we want to imitate his life and his fast to the degree we can, then we should consider fasting on behalf of others—that is, for their benefit and blessing. This is exactly the type of fast Isaiah talks about:

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? 

-- Isaiah 58:6–7

Lent is not just about personal holiness. Nor is it about pursuing simplicity of life for its own sake. Lent also has a remarkable social dimension. As pastor and columnist Chuck B. Colson said, “Lent gives us the opportunity to move towards our neighbor in charity” because it “emphasizes simplicity for the sake of others.” It’s fine and good to give up sweets, alcohol, TV, or whatever you might abstain from. But what if our abstinence reflected our care for others more than our care for ourselves? What if, as Colson suggests, we allocated the savings from our fasting and gave them to the poor and marginalized?

-- Kevin P. Emmert

Hatred and the Holocaust

I heard a fascinating program on the radio this week on hatred and the Holocaust (click here to listen to the program...a segment about a 'skinhead' is particularly good).  Here are some initial comments from the program, which is really worth listening to:

The Holocaust  was not a tsunami, it was a man-made event.

It is far more comforting to imagine it an aberration, something separate from humanity.  What we must avoid, is to look at the Holocaust as some kind of supernatural event, in which we don't have to see it in the human terms of the people who committed it...to capture the horror of what all this means.

Once we treat the perpetrators as human beings, we are faced with the uncomfortable awareness -- are these people fundamentally different than I am?  What would I have done?

-- Christopher Browning, Ordinary Men

Doubt & Certainty

Doubt is an unsettling condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one.

-- Voltaire

I asked a young lady who she thinks she would rather be around, a 'doubtful' person or a 'certain' person. She said 'doubtful'. I asked her why. She said a doubtful person would probably understand her more.

Collectors

To varying degrees, there may be something within all of us that desires to collect things.  These can certainly be physical things, but they also can to inanimate things.  For example, in addition to collecting things we like, do we also 'collect' our fears?  Whatever it is that we collect, I wonder if the component they have in common has to do with control.  Good and bad things could apply here.

Either way, wouldn't the value of what we collect actually be in our opportunity to give them away?  After all, what good does it do to hold on to things, only for ourselves?

I can give away the goodness I have received, so that others can share in that wealth.  I can also give away my fears, rather than hoard them (as if that helped), not only for my sake, but also for the sake of someone else...who may become more able to let go of theirs.

Whatever we collect, collect to give away.

Holding On

Holding on is easier than letting go.

...depending on what we are holding on to.

Greatest Asset

The greatest asset in any negotiation is patience.

-- Simon Sinek

So, what creates patience? Perhaps more to the point, what creates impatience?

No Computers!

The moment of truth for me came in the spring 2013 semester. I looked out at my visual-communication class and saw a group of six students transfixed by the blue glow of a video on one of their computers, and decided I was done allowing laptops in my large lecture class. "Done" might be putting it mildly. Although I am an engaging lecturer, I could not compete with Facebook and YouTube, and I was tired of trying.

The next semester I told students they would have to take notes on paper. Period.

A study published last year in Psychological Science showed that students who write out notes longhand remember conceptual information better than those who take notes on a computer. "Whereas taking more notes can be beneficial," the article’s abstract reported, "laptop note takers’ tendency to transcribe lectures verbatim rather than processing information and reframing it in their own words is detrimental to learning."  Continue....

-- Carol E. Holstead

Awake

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones. And when you have finished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.

-- Victor Hugo

Something We Do Without Thinking

Mens natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.

-- Confucius

A habit is something we do without thinking. Anyone who’s learned to drive a car gets the impact of habit. You don’t have to stop and think about putting the car in gear after you put the key in the ignition. It’s a mindless action. “Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life, and a significant element of happiness,” says Gretchen Rubin.

A Duke researcher suggested in 2006 that more than 40 percent of our daily actions are performed by habit. When researchers at MIT began exploring the notion of habit in the early 1990s, they found that repeating an action makes it automatic and increases our skill — even as mental activity decreases. Our brains aren’t keen on expending energy. It’s the underlying reason we so often fail at resolutions no matter what time of year we make them. When something takes effort, eventually our motivation wanes and we stop doing it. But our brains excel at turning routines, no matter how complex and effortful (driving a car, for instance), into habits that are effortless.

Developing a habit involves three distinct elements: a cue, a routine and a reward. The cue tells your brain to shift to autopilot. See a stop sign and you automatically step on the brake. No thinking required. The routine is the set of actions or patterns of thinking that are set in motion by the cue. When you see a stop sign, you take your right foot off the gas pedal, shift it to the left and gently depress the brake pedal. The reward is any immediate response that tells your brain you just did a good thing that’s worth repeating. Anything that triggers the reward circuit upstairs reinforces to the brain that you want to repeat the action. We need the reward only while the habit is forming. In driver’s ed, you probably got praised for making a smooth stop. Once a smooth stop became habitual, you no longer needed the reinforcement.

In the beginning, creating a habit will feel like work — perhaps a lot of work. But once ingrained, the habit will require virtually no effort for the rest of your life. Unwanted and outdated habits don’t ever really go away. But they do go dormant when unused, just as a footpath grows over when it’s unused. You can wire new habits over the old ones. Habits are made up of a sequence of events in your brain — thoughts that follow a familiar pathway. Wiring over an old habit is like putting up a detour sign at the point where the cue occurs. You get in the elevator at work and automatically press 3. When you get promoted and move to the sixth floor, you still press 3. So you put up a mental detour sign and send your brain on a different route — you have to think about it a few times before you automatically begin pressing 6. But use a new mental pathway often enough and fairly quickly, it becomes your brain’s default. That’s the beauty of habit. It lets us stop thinking about it.

-- Molly Rose Teuke

How We Lose Our Way

Because we do not rest we lose our way…poisoned by the hypnotic belief that good things come only through unceasing determination and tireless effort, we can never truly rest. And for want of rest our lives are in danger.

-- Wayne Muller

Norms

Roughly 10 percent of the children born to college grads grow up in single-parent households. Nearly 70 percent of children born to high school grads do. In the 1960s or 1970s, college-educated and noncollege-educated families behaved roughly the same. But since then, behavior patterns have ever more sharply diverged. High-school-educated parents dine with their children less than college-educated parents, read to them less, talk to them less, take them to church less, encourage them less and spend less time engaging in developmental activity.

It’s increasingly clear that sympathy is not enough. It’s not only money and better policy that are missing in these circles; it’s norms. The health of society is primarily determined by the habits and virtues of its citizens. In many parts of America there are no minimally agreed upon standards for what it means to be a father. There are no basic codes and rules woven into daily life, which people can absorb unconsciously and follow automatically.  Continue...

-- David Brooks

Serving

Let everyone understand that the real love of God does not consist in tear-shedding...but in serving God by serving those around us, in justice, fortitude of soul, and humility.

-- St. Teresa of Avila

Not Consolation

Love is not consolation, it is light.

-- Simone Weil

Become Human

Our society will really become human as we discover that the strong need the weak, just as the weak need the strong.

-- Jean Vanier

$1.7 Million Templeton Prize Awarded to L’Arche Disability Ministry Founder, Jean Vanier

Can Do Nothing

The Christian life is what you do when you realize that you can do nothing.

-- Dallas Willard

And God is faithful to reveal this to us.

EIEIO!

Somebodies

It seems we all are trying to be somebodies.

...what would happen, if we recognized our commitment to this and acknowledged that we mostly aren't?

Our Children Don’t Think There Are Moral Facts

Our schools do amazing things with our children. And they are, in a way, teaching moral standards when they ask students to treat one another humanely and to do their schoolwork with academic integrity. But at the same time, the curriculum sets our children up for doublethink. They are told that there are no moral facts in one breath even as the next tells them how they ought to behave.

We can do better. Our children deserve a consistent intellectual foundation. Facts are things that are true. Opinions are things we believe. Some of our beliefs are true. Others are not. Some of our beliefs are backed by evidence. Others are not. Value claims are like any other claims: either true or false, evidenced or not. The hard work lies not in recognizing that at least some moral claims are true but in carefully thinking through our evidence for which of the many competing moral claims is correct. That’s a hard thing to do. But we can’t sidestep the responsibilities that come with being human just because it’s hard.

That would be wrong.  Continue here...it's worth it.

-- Justin McBrayer

Interior Stability

To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.

Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.

-- Henri Nouwen

Thanks, Veisa, for sharing this with me.

Both

We are both -- already and not yet.

If I Would

I will only hire someone to work directly for me if I would work for that person.

-- Mark Zuckerberg

Greatly Reduce

In my experience, it is those with the least who are most desperate for God. In fact, having everything one needs can greatly reduce one’s constant dependence on God. I’m rarely tempted to abandon God in loss; I’m most often tempted to abandon God when I’ve everything I want in life.  Continued....

-- A.J. Swoboda

Stop Yelling

It seems increasingly true as a culture that we believe the only way we can be heard anymore is to yell.

The media is either creating some of this or, at the very least, fostering it.  I can hardly pass by a screen anymore where there isn't someone yelling at someone else about their rights.  This will take us to a logically undesirable end.

We must learn to talk again.  To talk to each other, to talk with each other...especially with people who aren't 'just like us'.  And, good talking requires listening...something very hard to do when you're yelling.

I was reminded last night at a local Oratorically Society presentation that there are other ways to effectively communicate, where talking and listening are both honored, simultaneously.  Voice and thought can still co-exist, if not harmoniously, then effectively.

We need to stop yelling, in order to be heard.  To re-learn how to just talk...and listen.

When We're Most Like Ourselves

"We're most like ourselves when we're laughing," said the doctor, "it's very easy to kids as the condition they have, instead of the person they are".  Interesting how laughter and healing are connected.  Worth watching this short video....

Didn't Have Words For

The piano became a safe place for me as a child to figure out stuff that I didn’t have words for.

-- Linford Detweiler

There are things we do, not just because we do them, but because they help us orient ourselves to things we otherwise don't know how to relate to or understand.  For there to be a place or a thing that can make us feel safe enough to do this kind of thing is truly a gift.  Perhaps it is out of such gifts that we become capable of giving to others.

...this certainly seems to be the case for Linford.

Present Circumstances

Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.

-- Nido Qubein

That We Start

It doesn't matter when we start, it doesn't matter where we start, all that matters is that we start.

-- Simon Sinek

Journey Without Maps

Faith is not being sure where you’re going, but going anyway. A journey without maps.

-- Frederick Buechner

CT: 5 Damaging Messages about God’s Presence

We need to be more honest about our spiritual experiences.  

The vast majority of people are not like Mollie. God’s tangibility, his “felt presence,” seems elusive to them.

The dissonance between our “unspoken theology” and our “declared creed” is the playground of spiritual disconnect and pain.

There was generation after generation that experienced God as silent.  Continue...

-- Tony Kriz

Need & Gratitude

Need and gratitude seem to be inextricably linked.

Numerous situations in the lives of friends lately (Sue Ford, Nathan and Julie Baker, Dave Marshall...), remind me that gratitude is among the most natural of responses to real need.  I know that my sense of gratitude has often peaked when my perceived need was the greatest.  When we are truly in need, we become so grateful, often for things in our lives that we otherwise take for granted.  Perhaps this is true because real need provides us opportunity to see how dependent we are (humility) and humility, in its purest form, ushers us to gratitude.

This 'nail' video is a relatively minor illustration of the point, the truth of which is often found in much more significant contexts:

Do On The Inside

What you do on the inside effects your brain and chemistry and blood and DNA much more than anything you can do on the outside.

I know many people who decide they will never be happy again. Never make money again. Never find romance again.  And, of course, there's no way to argue with them. It's often hard to listen to them. And eventually you avoid them. They will prove themselves right.

This is not law of attraction. Money doesn't rain down on the lucky (mostly) or the optimistic. But it certainly doesn't arrive at the doors of people who barricade their houses.

And it can't happen if you are stuck in bed. Or bloated with the enormity of your problems. Or satiated with the tiredness of your daily routine.

• Take a walk. Be a mover and not a statue.
• When you get tired, sleep instead of eat.
• Read books that are inspirational. For me, this helps rewire the brain for a few hours. It's hard at first. The brain tries to slap you: "I don't need rewiring", but for me it works.

-- James Altucher

They Really Are

We need to not only recognize things for how they feel, but also for how they really are.  At times, those can be quite different.

Beware of Full

Beware of a life that is full for too long; where there is no room, lack of space dulls important things in us.

Alms

What Kind of Pain: Hard & Holy

You’re meant to do hard & holy things because they are the next thing -- to get to the best thing.

It’s true, it’s hard, but there’s a brave hope in it:  Life is Pain -- and you get to choose: either the Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Disappointment.

Nothing happens without discipline. No music gets played without discipline. No games get won. No finish lines get crossed. No freedom gets tasted. And we want that.

It’s like my Dad always said:

• Brilliant doesn’t matter, if you can’t get out of bed.
• Talent doesn’t mean a thing, if you let Fear be some terrorist that takes you hostage.
• Potential doesn’t add up to anything, if you get addicted to perfectionism because perfectionism is slow death by self.

Yeah, there’s a brave, beautiful thing:  'Fire your Perfectionism; your Procrastination will quit too.’

-- Ann Voskamp

We just know, somewhere inside, that we are too easy on ourselves...just because we can be. When comfort is an option, we just choose (defer to) it.

29

This card snapshot pretty much captures what I feel today about our 29th wedding anniversary.  With a deep sense of gratitude, we are both better, because of each other.

Chicago: 'The Ribbon'

What a 'cool' place to go -- Chicago's 'the ribbon' in Maggie Daley Park.  A fun way to be with our kids and their friends:

Technology Fast

Technology is great. I have one of just about every gadget made. But we all know that our technology-enabled, full-on lives can get out of control. To enjoy the power of purpose, you need some “think time.” I book time in my calendar, turn off all my technology and just reflect on where I have been and the challenges and opportunities of the future.

Start slow. Take a one-hour technology fast and you will be amazed at the clarity of mind it will give you!

-- Bob Patton

...a little hard to (for me) to call one hour a 'fast'.  But, the point is still worthy of consideration; what is technology doing to us or, perhaps better said, what are we allowing it to do to us?

One reality of fasting is that it allows us to identify our real need (clarity).

I Thirst

You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. 

-- ‭Psalm‬ ‭63‬:‭1‬

One reality of stopping is that it allows us to identify our real need.

Ash Wednesday: Allows Us To Stop

Busy stems from the fear of never being enough.

Busy covers our emptiness.

Busy says, I am in control.

-- Lara Casey

I am struck by these lines.  Ash Wednesday / Lent allows us the opportunity to acknowledge what being busy does not.

Where We Are Now

Let’s not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God.

-- Henri Nouwen

True Strength

True strength is the courage to admit our weaknesses.

-- Simon Sinek

No Resource But In Strong Cryings and Tears

Sometimes the path of the Christian’s obedience becomes very difficult. It climbs upward; the gradient is continually steeper; the foothold ever more difficult; and, as the evening comes, the nimble climber of the morning creeps slowly forward on hands and knees. The day is never greater than the strength; but as the strength grows by use, the demands upon it are greater, and the hours longer. At last a moment may come, when we are called for God’s sake to leave some dear circle; to risk the lost of name and fame; to relinquish the cherished ambition of a life; to incur obloquy, suffering, and death; to drink the bitter cup; to enter the brooding cloud; to climb the smoking mount. Ah! then we too learn what obedience means; and have no resource but in strong cryings and tears.

-- F. B. Meyer, from The Epistle to the Hebrews

...not too fashionable an obedience these days.

4000 Lynchings

Click image for story....

The Other Person

Leaders who express anger, frustration and impatience—even in relatively small doses—may prompt action, but those emotions also drive their employees into states of fear and survival.

-- Tony Schwartz

Using fear as a motivation often translates as a threat to a team member’s self-worth, dignity or job security and that becomes a vicious circle: the more time and effort expended combating actual or perceived threats, the less time and energy remains to complete the task and the greater likelihood that there will be a negative outcome.

-- Michael Babikian

Acquire the skill to make another person feel as though what he or she is saying and doing is the only thing in the world that matters to you at this moment. It will enrich your life and strengthen your career.

-- Bruce Kasanoff

Emotionally Intelligent?

Data from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of people that have high EQ:

You Have a Robust Emotional Vocabulary
You’re Curious about People
You Embrace Change
You Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses
You Are Difficult to Offend
You Know How to Say No (to Yourself and Others)
You Let Go of Mistakes
You Give and Expect Nothing in Return
You Don’t Hold Grudges
You Don’t Seek Perfection
You Appreciate What You Have
You Disconnect
You Limit Your Caffeine Intake
You Get Enough Sleep
You Stop Negative Self-Talk in Its Tracks
...Continue.

-- Travis Bradberry

Liked

We often can't hear very much of someone's judgment of us, until something else is in place.  If, for example, we feel that we aren't liked or enjoyed...then a judgment often just feels like criticism.

But, being 'liked' by others isn't the constant we otherwise hope it would be and really seems to come-and-go (like feelings).  In the end, what we really have to know is that we are loved first, because love doesn't give way to the fickleness of the feelings of being liked (in fact, at times, we know there is good reason for us not to be liked or enjoyed).  When I know I am loved, however, I can listen to someone's perception of me...without being so threatened.

...otherwise, all I can do is peddle things that get you to like me.  ...which feels pretty undesirable to you.

When I know that I am loved, I don't need to be liked (...as much - smile).

Differences

Sometimes we seem to get frustrated that people won't act like us...it would just be a lot easier, if they would (smile).

These are great opportunities to be reminded that though we share a lot in common, people are different...they value different things because of who they are, how they were made, the experiences they have accumulated, etc.  And, acknowledging our differences can help make us better people and life more enjoyable.

Best Thinking

Often times our best thinking is done when our beliefs are being challenged.

-- Gregory Ciotti

CT: Following Jesus through Cancer - A Final Conversation with Steve Hayner

I’ve tried to be as transparent as possible about the rawness of this. But honestly, it has not been the rawness of wanting to shake my fist at God. It’s a rawness that this is a hard thing to face, and I’m doing the best I can to face the things God has called me to face today.

It’s the making of a new life and a new calling. But the calling is always to a life of joy. It’s always a calling to live into the dynamic overflowing life, which is God’s love for us and the joy that we know in Christ. I’m only five months into this, and it’s been a radical remodeling of my life with a new set of life experiences.

I’ve always said all the circumstances of my life are planned by the sovereign God to help me become what God wants me to be -- fully me. Now it’s a different set of circumstances, but it’s the same me needing to be formed.

We are all living into eternal life. Every day in the middle of our circumstances, we have the opportunity and the challenge to figure out what our calling that day is in relationship to the circumstances. In some ways I have to be swifter on my feet now. I have to be more flexible. I need to look at my life in shorter pieces. Most of the time these days. I can’t look at it in pieces much more than a day long. The question is not, What are my plans? The question is, How am I going to be faithful whatever the circumstances?  More here....

-- Steve Hayner

Begins To Die

He begins to die, that quits his desires.

-- George Herbert

Rich countries solved this problem decades ago, but now millions of poor people are dying from it

This year, industrialized countries will spend $10.4 billion helping poor countries cut carbon emissions and brace for the impact of climate change. Meanwhile, the world shells out tens of billions a year combating infectious diseases like HIV, malaria, and tuberculosis, spending which continues to rise.

What hardly anyone’s spending on is pollution -- even though it’s the most lethal force on the planet, killing nearly 8.9 million people in 2012, the last year for which there was data. Here’s how unnatural causes of death stack up globally...continue.

Growth Factor

There are many factors which influence our growth, but if I had to pick one, it would be the willingness to try...and to keep trying.

Practice

Knowledge is a treasure, but practice is the key to it.

-- Thomas Fuller

You May Delay

You may delay, but time will not.

-- Ben Franklin

Interesting notes from the World Economic Forum Annual Meeting:

Regarding Europe: The Finnish Finance Minister was blunt, “Stop the illusion that the public sector creates growth. All of the growth comes from the private sector. All we can do in government is structural reform, infrastructure, trade and education of workers."

Regarding Technology: For the first time, I heard genuine opposition to the power and attitude of the technology sector. It came in several forms, starting with privacy and protection of personal data.

Regarding Climate Change: I felt a much more optimistic tone about climate change at this Davos than in previous years. The hot breath of next November’s meeting in Paris is on each nation’s neck. The U.S. deal on carbon with China was seen as a major plus.

Agriculture and Food Security:  The key to the problem is the improvement of output from the family farm, which accounts for 70 percent of total output. Food experts suggest a two-pronged strategy. First, the efficiency of the small holder farmer who is working one-to-two hectares must increase. 

Media and Entertainment:  Some of the mainstream media owners expressed discomfort with their born-digital competitors who “use speed at the expense of facts and scale at the expense of depth,” with the motive of monetizing larger audiences. 

Rising Inequality of Income:  The Oxfam report on the first day of Davos said that 1 percent of the world controls as much of the assets as half of the world. The thesis is that with such concentration of wealth, the growth of economy is stunted by lower propensity to consume. 

Continue...

Guns, Steel, Grit, and Grief

The story line of this tragedy is almost unbearably heart rending.

I can’t speak to Dr. Davidson’s character corresponding to that good face, but others can, and have. According to colleagues, he was one of the greats, the kind of doctor every medical student wants to be, and the kind of doctor every patient wants to have. By all accounts, including those of patients, he was deeply caring. He was thoughtful, expressive, and clear. Peers credit him with the grit to wield the steel of scalpels in situations where other surgeons would balk, great surgical skill, the brilliance of innovation, and an extraordinary work ethic.

In addition, Dr. Davidson had a life outside the hospital. That life, according to the Boston Globe, included a wife -- also a physician -- and 3 children; with another on the way. That baby, of course, will now never meet his/her father.

And there’s more. The shooter, who also took his own life, left behind a complicated legacy of love, anguish and disbelief. He had four grown children, and siblings, who say he was nothing but a good guy who was devastated by the death of his mother, with whom he was very close. Rightly or wrongly, he blamed his mother’s death on an adverse reaction to medication, and rightly or wrongly, he apparently implicated Dr. Davidson in the use of that medication.  Continue....

-- David L. Katz, MD, MPH

Neglecting Time

Overloading is often what we do when we forget who God is. It is time for us to breathe and build margin into our lives for God. By neglecting time for tranquility, serenity, and repose, we limit our Christ-likeness and miss out on some of God’s greatest gifts.

-- Priscilla Shirer, Breathe

Timing

It is more easy for us to get tangled up in the timing of things than almost anything else.  But, in a context of infinity, the importance of timing is much less significant.

Is this why we tend to be so concerned about timing when it feels like God isn't?  He sees it all, what we don't see through the limitations of our sense of time.  If you see it all, when things happen would become less significant, because the piece about whether things will happen is relieved.  So what about our common question, "Why do things take so long?"  Do they?  Against what standard (the standard of adulthood, mid-life, or our life-spans)?  If God is not as concerned about 'when' as He is about 'whether', then why should we fret about things like 'when'?

Why does this matter?  The timing-of-things seems to be a rather influential factor in how we think about, treat, pressure, and love others.  ...especially when it comes to our closer relationships, like family members.

It Takes Time

The men that will change the colleges and seminaries...are the men that will spend the most time alone with God.  It takes time for the fires to burn. It takes time for God to draw near and for us to know that He is there. It takes time to assimilate His truth. You ask me, How much time? I do not know. I know it means time enough to forget time.

-- John Mott

Who We Really Are

The older we get, the less we are able to avoid being who we really are.

This can be discouraging or liberating...and, with some irony, sometimes in the very same day!

Pursue

It is only when you start to pursue who you really are, not who you don't want to be, that you become someone.

Silence: Fear of What It Has To Say

So it's searchable:

Our world is becoming more busy and noisy.  We are pushing silence out of our lives at a rate that suggest a fear of what it has to say to us about ourselves.

-- John O'Donohue

Narrative Fallacy

Decision makers get stuck in a memory loop and can only predict the future as a reflection of the past -- this dynamic is referred to as the “narrative fallacy”, where you see the future as merely a slight variation on yesterday’s news.

-- Daniel Kahneman

A challenge for all of us, I suspect, in many domains of our lives.  We tend to see what we want to see.  It is helpful to know that what we want to see is largely influenced by what we have seen.

Permission to Grieve

Is there a greater gift we can give the world these days than the permission and ability to grieve?

We visited some dear friends this weekend and marveled at their courage to grieve deep loss in their life.  Whether such a thing is done privately or in public, a world like ours is in desperate need of grieving.

I suspect that our relative unpracticing of grieving makes a significant contribution to the violence of our society.  To see and, more importantly, experience this 'other way' (the way of grieving) is both profound and freeing, not to mention healing.

Not Foreign

We are thankful that the pain we feel is not foreign to God.

-- Nathan Baker

Imitating Another

Far better to fail at being yourself than to succeed in imitating another.

-- Herman Melville

Doing It

We learn how to do something truly new only through doing it, then adjusting.

-- Robert Fritz

The Secret to Breaking Bad Habits

The first fact to face is that our habits are largely invisible to us. That is, though we may know we need to eat or listen better, our repertoire of habit resides in a part of the brain that is ordinarily off-limits to our awareness. Our brain stores our habits there so we don’t have to pay conscious attention to the countless good habits that keep us going – everything from how to brush our teeth to what not to say to your boss.

That works well ordinarily. The brain needs to conserve energy this way, and it would be overwhelmingly distracting to have to figure these sequences out each time. But the problem comes when certain habits don’t work for us. Those are the ones we want to target for change.

The first step in changing them has to be noticing them in the first place. That means not letting them just go by on automatic, but becoming mindful of them. You can do this in two ways: getting familiar with the triggers that start the sequence, and noticing the way the habit operates.  Mindfulness de-automatizes habits –- while we used to reach for that soothing candy bar after an upsetting call from that person who drives us crazy, with mindfulness we can spot the habit trigger...in the moment.  We can replace that dysfunctional habit with something that works better for us.  Continue here....

-- Daniel Goleman

Choose Consciously

Routine activity conditions the brain to follow old, familiar neural circuits. Over time, new input has a harder and harder time registering, because the course of least resistance is to follow the same ingrained patterns.

Notice that routine isn't a problem in and of itself -- keeping regular hours, going to bed at the same time every night, and maintaining a regular health diet are all good for the body. The real problem is located in the mind, which is the seat of consciousness. Every day your mind controls a feedback loop where you can choose the kind of input that will be processed. As mechanical as this may sound, you can't pursue your dreams and fulfill yourself at a deep level unless you participate in a rich, evolving, fully alive feedback loop.

A conscious lifestyle isn't divided, but integrated.

-- Deepak Chopra

Ought To Be

All persons are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.

I can never be what I ought to be, until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr

This seems true at a number of levels -- inter-personally, spiritually, and, yes, racially.

Grace

Grace treats us like we already are what we fear we'll never become.

Cannot Be Separated

Heat cannot be separated from fire, or beauty from The Eternal.

-- Dante Alighieri

Trapped In His Body For 12 Years, A Man Breaks Free

What would you do if you were locked in your body, your brain intact, but with no way to communicate? How do you survive emotionally when you are invisible to everyone you know and love?

The story of Martin Pistorius, who fell into a mysterious coma as a young boy. He had only one thing left as his mind began to function again — his own thoughts. Here's a glimpse into his unbelievable story...here.

I resonate with a number of things in the story, including the observations about how to relate to darkness (about the 10-minute mark into the 11-minute audio) and the power of those around him.

Drinking Poison

Bitterness, resentment, and jealousy are like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You are the only one who loses.

Life is too short to resent all the people who may have hurt you.

-- Jeff Haden

Hardly Knows

Adversity is the trial of principle. Without it, a man hardly knows whether he is honest or not.

-- Henry Fielding

Developmental and Illuminating

There is nothing more developmental and illuminating than dealing with adversity.

-- Jack Welch

Even the business world recognizes this truth...that such things (adversity, suffering, challenge, etc.) cause something within us to grow.

Instead

A friend of mine, Nate, is going through a hard time with his young family. He shared this video, as part of his journey during these days. It is a gift of light to me.

Thanks, Veisa, for letting me know about it.

Light: Good Deeds

Let your light shine before others, 
  that they may see your good deeds
  and glorify your Father in heaven.

-- Matthew 5:16

What, in fact, are the 'good deeds' referred to here?

And, how do we shine as light ?

So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

-- Romans 13:12

There is something about the power of God's light that protects our hearts.

Nothing So Terrible

There is nothing so terrible as activity without insight.

-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This alone is nearly too cryptic to be of too much use.  In the context of my recent posts, however, it provides a necessary counter-point to what might appear to be an appeal to action just for its own sake (though, in some cases, that may be a sufficient appeal).  We live in a busy world with too much activity, frankly, and too little thought.  So, this strikes me as a healthy addition to the idea of the value and need for action.

Afraid to Act & Using Perfection

Action is life. Many people are afraid to act for fear of failure so they work to create perfection to protect them.

Action is synonymous with movement and movement need not always be grandiose and dramatic. It can be but subtle and quiet as thought. The movement from somewhere to somewhere else cannot be accomplished except through action.

Action, i.e. movement, can, and often does, yield unanticipated discovery. Discovery is by definition unanticipated. But if you are not moving, if you are not testing, experimenting, tweaking, and taking advantage of what you learn, discovery is dead on arrival and that death is the cessation of action.

...a very profound and effective lesson because perfection is the death of action -- not by homicide but by suicide.

-- Jim Sniechowski

Don't Ask. Act!

Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act!
Action will delineate and define you.

-- Thomas Jefferson

Something Else

Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

-- Ambrose Redmoon

Darkness & Light

It is out of our deepest and most personal darkness that our brightest light will shine.

This is hard enough to believe for ourselves, especially in moments of darkness, much less for someone else.  And, yet, it is only out of believing this for ourselves that we are able to believe it for others.

Pain & Desire

Pain and desire seem to be the two great catalysts for our openness to God.

Sometimes it seems to take pain to reveal our true desire for God.

Not a Jack-In-The-Box

God does not always heal us instantly the way we think. He is not a jack-in-the-box God. But God is walking with me through this.

-- Thelma Wells

A Thread Called Grace

When I'm feeling pretty bad about myself, when the wounds of my heart cry out loud for healing, when shame attempts to suffocate me, or when I'm especially discouraged over my most tragic failures, I find myself holding onto a thread.

A thread called grace.

...the ultimate key to move from secrecy to honesty is not telling the whole world, but rather letting God have access.

-- Jonathan Merritt

A powerful story about abuse, denial, and grace here....

Bekermeier Wedding

...fun for both our kids to be in this wedding of their mutual friends.

Transitions

Not in his goals but in transitions is man great.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We come to a point in our lives, where it seems that the only thing that still grows stronger is faith.  It feels like I have arrived here -- eyesight, physical strength, mental capacity...all seem to be diminishing, irreversibly.

A growing faith, though, is no insignificant or regrettable thing.  I wonder what other transitions are underway for me at the age of 51 -- what will be gained, what will be lost, what test, what joy -- and how I will reflect on them at the end of 2015.