When Everyone Else Seems to be Winning — and You Feel Like a Bit of a Loser

I rest my chin on the farm gate, and exhale in one long breath while two baby calves with saucer-like eyes stare back at my daughter and me.

It’s a showdown.

And these cows simply won’t budge. Read on...you will be glad you did.

Weeds

If there are weeds in your life, you just need to pull them.

We can't just ignore them or yank their tops off at the surface. We can't just shoot them with some deadening chemicals. We can't just throw plastic over everything  and sprinkle some mulch on top -- they will grow there, too...because it is 'in' our hearts that they grow.

We have to do the work of pulling them out by the root -- the difficult, dirtying effort to get down on our knees. The discipline. The regularity. The prayer, acknowledging that the length and depth of some roots is yet unknown to us.

Nonetheless, tend your garden...pull the weeds out.

Little by Little

The greatest things ever done on Earth
have been done little by little.

-- William Jennings Bryan

It might be easy to imagine this kind of thing in terms of some of the great building endeavors throughout time -- the Pyramids for example. But, if this is true, and I suspect it is, it has equal implications for the things that are built (changed?) in our hearts as well. Little by little.

...this should make us quite respectful of this process in others, as well.

Millions Long

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

-- Susan Ertz

Peace Is Not Placidity

Peace is the centre of the atom, the core
Of quiet within the storm. It is not
A cessation, a nothingness; more
The lightning in reverse is what
Reveals the light. It is the law that binds
The atom's structure, ordering the dance
Of proton and electron, and that finds
Within the midst of flame and wind, the glance
In the still eye of the vast hurricane.
Peace is not placidity: peace is
The power to endure the megatron of pain
With joy, the silent thunder of release,
The ordering of Love. Peace is the atom's start,
The primal image: God within the heart.

-- Madeleine L'Engle, from The Weather of the Heart

I Shall Be Waiting For You

Personally, I have found the holding of these contrasts (see yesterday's post and the link below) about marriage a challenge, a defeat, and a wonderful endeavor over the years. Marriage is both something wonderful and terrible. All-in-all, it seems to me, especially as time passes, that it is much more of the former.

I Shall Be Waiting For You

Marriage

I don't know of anyone who hasn't struggled in their marriage, at one point or another, with what it 'should' be like...to the point that they wondered if it should also be 'over'. No one.

I have learned, however, of many people who never let on that this happens...which seems to leave them and others wondering what is wrong with their situation, or more especially, what is wrong with their partner.

The greater discovery and truth, though, is that until this road is traveled, and to some degree with others, the greater problem of me is not identified. And, that discovery, is the start to something that includes struggle, but also transcends it.

Live Your Best Life

My friend, Jim, sent this to me and I noted the author, since these days I am slowly reading her book. This is one of the more welcome Saturday Morning treats I've enjoyed in a while. ...tears reflect the welling up of something deep within me as I read this very poignant and real depiction of our human experience:

Live Your Best Life

...read it slow and more than once. It's awash in redemption...as we all are, all the way to the end.

Hurry

Hurry always empties a soul.

-- Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

...making me unavailable.

Don't Underestimate

Don’t underestimate the goodness of God.

It would be a shame to do so and to your detriment.

Interfere

Do not let what you cannot do interfere
with what you can do.

-- John Wooden

Deposits, in the Long Run

Raising kids is like buying savings bonds...like making long-term deposits in the bank; the return is for value more fully realized in about 25 years. Actually, there are many more returns and more often than this. But, nonetheless, our kids often have to struggle on their own before they realize the value of the some of things we would love for them to know...the same kinds of things we had to learn along the way.

Keep making those deposits by doing the right things and believing that satisfaction can prevail, in the long run, over how accepting they are of them in any given moment.

Every quarter you put in the bank of who they are...matters.

Do What You Can

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

-- Theodore Roosevelt

Fatherhood

When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant that I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in only 7 years.

-- Mark Twain

...brings a wry smile, doesn't it? Goes along a bit with this one.

Pride Is Heavy

Pride is heavy.
It weighs.
It is a fatness of spirit,
an overindulgence in self.
This gluttony is earthbound
Cannot be lifted up.
Help me to fast,
to lose this weight!
Otherwise, O Light One,
how can I rejoice in your
Ascension?

-- Madeleine L'Engle, from The Weather of the Heart

We're Raising Boys

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.
Mother would come out and say, 'You're tearing up the grass.'
'We're not raising grass,' Dad would reply.
'We're raising boys'.

-- Harmon Killebrew

In other words, be there...with them. I love this thought...presence matters.

Walk Alone

There have been times, many actually, when beauty sears me so deeply I can hardly lift it to another person. There have been times when seeing or experiencing beauty without another has hurt just as much.

The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.

-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Never Grows Old

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

-- Franz Kafka

Artists

All children are born artists.

-- Picasso

Not Possessed

Beauty cannot be possessed. It reaches out to us, into us, from within us, but it can be controlled and possessed.

Proud Assertion

Flowers...are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy Graduate!

For those who want more...and more.

Beauty Heals

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.

-- John Muir

Beauty

Is there anything more powerful, more compelling than beauty?

The invigoration of a sunrise, the peace of a sunset, the delight of a happy woman, the strong love of a man, the innocence of a child.  The joy of redemption, the harmony of nature.  All are just slivers of the beauty that alters a man's consciousness...of himself, of God, of the world.

Religion

Religion bears the burden of its own inconsistency.

Anger's Pathway

To be human now (in our fallen-mess) is to be angry. We are so far from what we should be.

Teach us, God, to bring our anger to you, as a pathway, so that we can be sorted out by you and so that we don't misplace our anger upon others. For only you can right all wrongs in others and more importantly in ourselves.

Imagination

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.

-- Albert Einstein

Those Damp Woods

Those damp woods...so deafeningly silent, so passively active, so windily aimed at its destinations.   Its colors and moistened fragrances, its musicality and secrets unendingly discovered...all shake me like a sieve, sorting out my soul and lifting what is true out of the morass of everything that so surrounds and passes through me.  My oh my, the woods are like the voice of God directly to me...searing me to the core, in such powerful and tender ways.

Top 26 Road Movies

"Ultimately, road movies offer us a brief glimpse of potential alternatives to the soul-sickening 'everydayness' of our lives.

Consider these 25 Road Movies a kind of antidote. They are the opposite of mindless entertainments; they are signposts for the search."

Image Magazine's Top 25 Road Movies.

...a bonus, you might recognize some reviewer names.

Keep Out of the Habit Before They Are In It

Late-1850, Abraham Lincoln's step-brother, John D. Johnston, wrote to him and asked, yet again, for a loan with which to settle some debts. Said Johnston:

I am dund & doged to Death so I am all most tired of Living, & I would all most swop my place in Heaven for that much money [...] I would rother live on bread and wotter than to have men allways duning me [...] If you can send me 80 Dollars I am willing to pay you any Intrust you will ask.

On previous occasions Lincoln simply would have agreed to such a request. This time, however, sensing an opportunity to impart some wisdom, he responded with the following letter of advice and a proposal:

...click here to read what appears to me to be a quite wise response.

Sabotage

All Satan can do (and he is pretty effective, in the short-run) is try to sabotage the goodness and harmonies God has created...which lead us to worship Him.

New Weariness

Every increased possession loads us with new weariness.

-- John Ruskin

Nothing Is...

Nothing is...mine.

Jammin'

Not Available

The busier I get, the less available I am to myself and to God within me. The less available I am to these things, the more critical I become of others. The more critical I am of others, the more angry I become...at them, at myself for being so, at nearly everything that doesn't cooperate with my agendas.

When I sense the latter, I look at how busy I have let myself become again...and make it a point to stop -- to go running in the woods, to sit down and look at something for longer than usual, to lay purposely in bed and not start on my list.

...guess what I did this morning?

Idea Camera

'Saturday Mornings' is like a camera; it takes pictures of ideas.

Threats

It often escapes us (me included) that the greatest thing we need at times of fear and worry is our awareness that He is with us...and not that we need relief from the threat.

Cultivated

What is valued in one’s country is what will be cultivated.

-- Plato

What do we cultivate?  ...especially in light of yesterday's post?

Un-Human

My kids rarely actually speak to someone in person. They use text messaging, Facebook, instant messaging, e-mail, and Twitter.

-- Fred N. Blitt, Legal Collection Advisor

"Rarely speak...in person"? Do we know the damage we are creating? This is not just technology, there is something un-human at work here.

Grievances and Grows

Have you ever noticed yourself slightly less enchanted with something than someone else is. Or how easy it is for such a thing to grow into something you resent...about that thing or even that person. This almost naturally then gives way to a kind of record-keeping about it, in order to maintain your position and your distance really from it (and, from them as well).

Equally, have you ever noticed that when you join someone in that thing that something unexpected happens, that your complaints and judgments start to wither. That something else grows, for that person, as well as for what they are doing.

Nothing ousts the sense of Gods presence so thoroughly as the souls dialogues with itself - when there are grumblings, grievances, etc.

-- Friedrich von Hgel

First

A (very) short poem:

You first.

By Myself

There can be no maturity in the spiritual life, no obedience in following Jesus, no wholeness in the Christian life apart from an immersion and embrace of community. I am not myself by myself. Community, not the highly vaunted individualism of our culture, is the setting in which Christ matures us.

-- Eugene Peterson

The line that jumps out at me here is 'I am not myself by myself'. ...some would argue mightily with this. But, I think this is worth serious consideration.

Toil and Becoming

The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.

-- John Ruskin

Reminds me of this one.

Numbers

Never worry about numbers.
Help one person at a time,
and always start with
the person nearest you.

-- Mother Teresa

So lose yourself.

Wonder

You can't help but wonder about some big stuff after looking at things like this.  Who thinks of stuff like this to flaunt about at us?

I don't think there is any better worship than wonder.

-- Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

Lose Yourself

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

-- Gandhi

Wrapped Up

When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.

-- John Ruskin

Draw us, Father, to the bigger, in you. We are made in your image, to be wrapped up in you.

Drawn

We are drawn to what makes us feel alive.

Good things...and bad things...can make us feel alive.

Lord, cause me to be drawn to what truly makes me alive.

Speech with the Holy One

For most of us, . . . entry into the Psalms requires a real change of pace. It asks us to depart from the closely managed world of public survival, to move into the open, frightening, healing world of speech with the Holy One.

-- Walter Brueggemann

Reaches So Far

Of all the pulpits from which human voice is ever sent forth, there is none from which it reaches so far as from the grave.

-- John Ruskin

A helpful perspective regarding time, in light of yesterday's post.

First Day of My 50th Year

Today is the first day of my 50th year of life and so I am returning to the topic on the last day of my 49th -- Why Am I?

Why am I...

...capable of so much violence (actual or just in thought), perversion, self-indulgence, prejudice?

Why am I...

...in that same person beckoned in the morning by the sun rising over the horizon?

Why am I...this strange and unwieldy combination.

Perhaps another question will lead us to the answer to this one...

Why are other things what they are?


Why does a placid lake whisper 'peace' so softly, yet so loudly?

Why does morning mist linger over it so mysteriously?

Why do streams which feed it make a rippling sound?

Why does the cardinal have such brilliant red to flash?

Why does the tree have to grow so slowly, imperceptibly?

Why does it appear as nothing but dead month after winter-month only to explode with foliage in a matter of weeks...for a hundred years?

Why does the lace of a flower float so beautifully above its supporting green?

Why...

     do daisies face the same direction?
     does the yellow iris yelp its color?
     does the purple iris moan with delight?

Why do many docks have so many patient kayaks aboard them?

Why does the empty park sometimes fill with a whole town?
     while at other times do families of geese wander within it so freely?

Why do people walk 4 dogs at a time?
     or puppies lick you the way they do?
     do cats stare?

Why does color beg?

...and these are just the things I 'why-ed' when I was out early this morning.  Imagine the rest of them!

Everything is made for a reason, a unique reason, but a shared reason.
I am, too.

My 'whys' merge when I wonder about myself in light of the something more and larger that is going on in life.

When I see all these things, a mosaic emerges.  And, it's image says, "you are blessed...to be a part of all of this...joy".

So I join it,

and, in doing so, find out really...why I am.

Why...Am I?

...crashing can lead to an important question:

Why Am I?

Crash

...and, therefore, we must crash into ourselves at one point or another.

Terrible Within

I don't give people drugs because they need to find The Terrible within.

-- a doctor

Forces of Ourselves

We are forces of ourselves.

The good, the bad;

and we can't get away
from ourselves.

...whether we want to,
or others want us to.

We are who we are,
forces
of ourselves.

Hills of Purple

We all see the soul of God coming over different 'hills'.  But, my oh my, does it ever shout!

...here is more purple.

Soul of God

Where others see but the dawn coming over the hill, I see the soul of God shouting for joy.

-- William Blake

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

-- William Wordsworth

This concludes my 'week' of poetry (guess it was longer than that). Must say it 'danced' with me, leaving me with a question, one that I will probably come back to a few times before the end of things:

'What is poetry?'

I'm still drawn to the notions with which I began this time -- poetry is a means of alluding to things like beauty, sadness, transcendence....

Too Low

The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high
and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.

-- Michelangelo

Why Not?

Someone may ask you a 'why would you...' type of question. Maybe they have already...or will some day.

What kind of person, or thinking, or sensitivity, does it take to respond (after some pause) with...

...'why not?'

All That is Gold Does Not Glitter

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

-- John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

There Are Many, But Only One

The following came to me one recent morning when I was running on an indoor track at a time too early to mention. The trailing slumber, and probably the night before's ice cream were chanting throughout my body that there was no way I could complete the normal 32 laps. When my body took over my mind, it kept pointing out how many laps remained...how impossible it would be to make it all the way...that day. And, it struck me, as I simply plodded on, that all I could really do was run the current lap. And then, the next one came and I did the same thing, thinking the same thing. And, before I knew it, I had run 10 laps...and counting.

Focusing on the likelihoods of the future was disabling something in me. When I focused on the only lap I could run, the current one, I found myself continuing. 20. Then 30. Only 2 to go. I ran faster....

How much like life, I thought, is this lesson. When I try to grasp the whole thing, especially the future, I become too aware of impossibility, of unlikelihood. When I focus on one choice, like one lap, at a time. Slowly a life gets built. And, I learn that I can do things I didn't think I could do.


There Are Many, But Only One.

Like choices, there are many laps in life.
We count them.
We predict them.
And, in doing so, we can miss the one we're on.

Do we predict
because we have counted?
Asking, can we make it?
Will I have enough...to finish?

There is something fearful
fueling all our predicting
which disables something
about this one.
For I can only run the lap I am on.

Each lap can be run,
but only one at a time
as we learn to lean on
Another source within
to accumulate the growing many.

...and that IS enough
to make it,
to make it all the way;
starting with the only one,
the lap (or choice) I'm on.
This one.

Poverty & Power

When is poverty not related to the mis-use of power?

Really

What if I bring an empty cup
An empty cup to You?
What if I can pour nothing out
That's good or loving true?
What if all I really have
is an angry brew?
A dark, ground, scalding shout
Directed right at You?
Do you really want this cup?
Won't it burn Your lips?
Ah, Your eyes do brightly shine
Between the long, slow sips

-- Tim Koshnick

Oil and Water

Like oil and water, we lean
toward independence.
Our learning forces us to wait
for a blended fragrance
to waft us back togethered,
trusting
the betternness within each other
to soften the fast-grown
crusting.
With oil and water now mixed,
we savor the bread's
surprising moments:
The trust of unseparation
...unlike oil and water.

Starred

>Never a word, their silence sown,
Flickers delicate upon my own.
Light the touch -- no accident --
One silence with another blent,
Till I become accustomed to
A hope the growing quiet knew:
Of finding in my own soul-wide
A quiet sparkle deep inside.

-- Tim Koshnick

Tough vs Strong

Tough is hard,
while strength doesn't have to be.

Tough is outside; strong is from within.

A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever

Its lovliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkn'd ways
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon,
Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon
For simple sheep; and such are daffodils
With the green world they live in; and clear rills
That for themselves a cooling covert make
'Gainst the hot season; the mid-forest brake,
Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms:
And such too is the grandeur of the dooms
We have imagined for the mighty dead;
An endless fountain of immortal drink,
Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink.

-- John Keats

Beauty is so strong, this is partly why it is a joy.

Deeper

There are deeper things you do not know;
Mysteries that will remain so.
Until your heart, its courage found,
Looks to where your Fears abound...
Then seeing them stretch from east to west
You hold open your frightened eyes lest
Your true condition you somehow deny,
And the deeper work passes you by.

-- Tim Koshnick

Perceived or not, this work is a thing of beauty.

West Wind 2

You are young. So you know everything. You leap
into the boat and begin rowing. But listen to me.
Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without
any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me.
Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and
your heart, and heart’s little intelligence, and listen to
me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent
penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a
dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile
away and still out of sight, the churn of the water
as it begins to swirl and roil, fretting around the
sharp rocks – when you hear that unmistakable
pounding – when you feel the mist on your mouth
and sense ahead the embattlement, the long falls
plunging and steaming – then row, row for your life
toward it.

-- Mary Oliver

...we row so hard...in the wrong direction. Trust your Captain's voice and the work he asks of you.

The Third Body

A man and a woman sit near each other, and they do not long
at this moment to be older, or younger, or born
in any other nation, or any other time, or any other place.

They are content to be where they are, talking or not talking.
Their breaths together feed someone we do not know.

The Man sees the way his fingers move;
He sees her hands close around a book she hands to him.

They obey a third body that they share in common.
They have promised to love that body.

Age may come, parting may come, death will come.
A man and a woman sit near each other;
as they breathe they feed someone we do not know
Someone we know of, whom we have never seen

-- Robert Bly, from the collection "Ten Poems to Open your Heart" by Robert Housden


I am turning to poems this week. On the surface they allude to something, both farther in and farther out, something underneath, something behind...

...something wounding, like beauty.
...something comforting, like sadness.
...something glorious, like transcendence.

It will be a good week.

Thinking & Feeling

Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become...habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny! What we think we become.

-- Margaret Thatcher



The movie (The Iron Lady) is an interesting view of the merging of youth and old age, forgetting and remembering, thinking and feeling.

I find this an interesting and repeating function of aging over each generation...the identifying and holding on to what is felt to be (or thought to be) 'right', virtues and liabilities inevitably in tow....  This one is worth seeing, especially for those who grew up in that era.

Blessed Are the Poor in Spirit - Revisited

The question from a prior post was, "What do you think characterizes the 'poor in spirit'?"

It strikes me that the NLT translation of Matt 5:3 is getting at it:

God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

I've seen many poor people who have no realization of this...in this sense, they are no different than the rich who don't either.  In other words, as my Dad says, "you can be as greedy with $15 as you can with $15,000".

Life of Passion - You Don't Need It!

You do not need to have a life full of passion. What is that life, anyway?

-- Penelope Trunk

My oh my, do I love this one!  Finally someone who stops blowing the 'passion' horn.  I've always hated that...noise.

I do think we're often talking about something else, when we're talking about that.  Penelope does a good job of helping re-construct it (see link above).

All Our Busy Rushing

We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.

-- Psalm 39:6

Puts things a bit more in perspective, doesn't it? It leaves you asking a few important questions about we're all doing here...so busily.

Income Tax Day

On this day of internal revenue
       some of us are paid up,
       some of us owe,
       some of us await a refund,
       some of us have no income to tax.

But all of us are taxed,
       by war,
       by violence,
       by anxiety,
       by deathliness.

And Caesar never gives any deep tax relief.

We render to Caesar...
       to some it feels like a grab,
       to some it is clearly a war tax,
       to some - some few ---
              it is a way to contribute to the common good.

In any case we are haunted
       by what we render to Caesar,
       by what we might render to you,
       by the way we invest our wealth and our lives,
       when what you ask is an "easy yoke":
              to do justice
              to love mercy
              to walk humbly with you.

-- Walter Brueggeman

Thanks for sending, Sue.

Going Home

The new Leonard Cohen CD has a profoundness to it that is difficult to fully grasp or describe until we are face to face with our common end.  He opens the new album with this song.  Imagine him in some kind of conversation with God about his impending, yet unidentified death (I think this is part of what is going on...he is 77).  I appreciate lines like the following:

And none of us deserving
The cruelty or the grace

...you can also listen from this link, if you like:

I love to speak with Leonard
He’s a sportsman and a shepherd
He’s a lazy bastard
Living in a suit

But he does say what I tell him
Even though it isn’t welcome
He will never have the freedom
To refuse

He will speak these words of wisdom
Like a sage, a man of vision
Though he knows he’s really nothing
But the brief elaboration of a tube

Going home
Without my sorrow
Going home
Sometime tomorrow
To where it’s better
Than before

Going home
Without my burden
Going home
Behind the curtain
Going home
Without the costume
That I wore

He wants to write a love song
An anthem of forgiving
A manual for living with defeat

A cry above the suffering
A sacrifice recovering
But that isn’t what I want him to complete

I want to make him certain
That he doesn’t have a burden
That he doesn’t need a vision

That he only has permission
To do my instant bidding
That is to SAY what I have told him
To repeat

Going home
Without my sorrow
Going home
Sometime tomorrow

Going home
To where it’s better
Than before

Going home
Without my burden
Going home
Behind the curtain
Going home
Without the costume
That I wore

I love to speak with Leonard
He’s a sportsman and a shepherd
He’s a lazy bastard
Living in a suit

-- Leonard Cohen, Old Ideas

Here is another great one from the new CD.

Marriage & Forgiveness

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.

-- Ruth Bell Graham

Dance With the Devil

At one point or another or until we learn not to, we want to dance with the Devil as much as we think we can get away with.  At these times, we want what he's selling...until we see more clearly what it is (or isn't).

And it seems, we have to learn in very personal ways that he is the Father of Lies.

Blessed Are the Poor in Spirit

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

-- Matt 5:3

Makes you wonder about what it is that the 'poor in spirit' have which will qualify them to rule in God's kingdom.  In our kingdom, the poor in spirit are condescended to, even frowned upon.  They don't have 'what it takes'.  ...to lead, to be a visionary, to be a hard-charger, to be a mover-and-shaker, etc...to rule really, a kingdom.

But, as seems typical in God's order of things, these folks will end up being the 'rulers'...perhaps because of something they learned when they were 'poor'.  I wonder when that will be, what that will look like.

What do you think characterizes the 'poor in spirit'?  Why do you suppose that in God's economy 'theirs is the kingdom of heaven'?

Thoughts on Getting Dumped

Another entry from Bob Goff...from Donald Miller's blog:

"I was in college and thought I wanted to be a forest ranger and later, a surfer. Then I got my first “dear Bob” letter from someone I really cared for who didn’t want to date a forest ranger or a surfer any more.

I’ve learned that God sometimes allows us to find ourselves in a place where we want something so bad that we can’t see past it...read on."

One of the blessings of poverty (being poor, not being 'rich', etc.) is the built-in 'No' in life.

Too bad we don't often see it that way.  But, I still suspect it is true; there is 'no' built into the regular life of those without much means.  And while not always the case, those who "can't" seem blessed with something that those who "can" often don't have.  It is hard to describe, but you do know when you see it. For example, the thorough enjoyment of something out of the ordinary, genuine gratitude for gifts from others, a simpleness (peace) that pervades one's existence with the direct and experiential knowledge that all goodness comes from God.

...and I'm really impressed by those who don't have to, but still say 'No' to things in life.  It confirms that they believe in something more than their money.

Not Quickly

Most good things don't come quickly.

You've got to walk a ways before you can learn to really appreciate and enjoy the goodness in things.  ...along the beach, through the woods, into life.

Awwww!

Click pic for more 'Awwww!'

Christ Is Risen

Christ is risen!
We give thanks for the gift of Easter
       that runs beyond our explanations,
              beyond our categories of reason,
       even more, beyond the sinking sense of our own lives.
We know about the powers of death,
                     powers that persist among us,
                     powers that drive us from you, and
                            from our neighbor, and
                            from our best selves.
We know about the powers of fear and greed and anxiety,
                            and brutality and certitude.
                     powers before which we are helpless.

And then you...you at dawn, unquenched,
              you in the darkness,
              you on Saturday,
              you who breaks the world to joy.
Yours is the kingdom...not the kingdom of death,
Yours is the power... not the power of death.
Yours is the glory... not the glory of deathl
       Yours... You... and we give thanks
              for the newness of life beyond our achieving.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

-- Walter Brueggeman

Lent's Birth - Resurrection Sunday

Paula said if you did this all the way, it may prove to be the very antidote you've been seeking.

Conversion means being liberated by God's grace so that we can at last follow the intimate spiritual aspirations that have long been unheeded, neglected, or frustrated.  It is the beginning of the journey towards a fulfillment, a journey powered by the spiritual quest but one which profoundly influences and transforms every sphere of human activity and experience.

-- Michael Casey

I have loved the recalibration this year's Lent has born in me.  Not that I'm all better or have become someone else.  But, I have been recalibrated to what makes me alive to who I really am.  And, I am grateful for it.

A few final thoughts from the wonderful little book I've referenced throughout this season:

Just as Jesus humbly bore his cross through the winding streets of Jerulsalem, I must be willing to carry the burden of myself as I am. Instead of fantasizing about my special gifts or fine character, I must lay aside self-importance. I must stop catering to my own whims, putting my own needs before the needs of others, or taking my own righteousness as a given. I must learn to see myself as I am: neither too high or too low.
...

That renunciation of my former way of life causes suffering, both for me and for those who love me but who are incapable of understanding the journey I am on. No matter how I'd like to avoid that stark reality, what I sign up for when I accept the faith is the quiet bearing of pain. Some of the worst of it has to do with the total restructuring of the person I've come to identify as myself.
...

Genuine transformation requires obedience to a power greater than myself.
...

Despite my predilection toward a strictly private relationship with God, I see that we do not and cannot meet him totally on our own. I realize that I am accompanied on this difficult spiritual journey not only by my living brothers and sisters in Christ but also by countless generations of believers who have already made the transition from earthly existence to the "land of likeness" -- the heavenly home that Jesus went to prepare for us. No longer merely an individual, I have been engrafted into the Body of Christ.
...

Our only way of thanking him is to offer back what he has so generously given:   our consecrated selves. We are made to bring peace to the war-torn, sustenance to the starving, hope to the desperate, love to the despised and the alone, and the good news of salvation to the ignorant and the cynical.
...

This task sounds daunting...so he reminds us of who he made us to be:

You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain that cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father. (Mt 5:14-16)

Humility is what allows us to take on this magnificent mission without trembling.

-- Paula Huston, simplifying THE SOUL

Amen.  We are re-born.

Another Slanted Morning

It is another slanted morning.  And, when I saw it, my heart rose a bit in anticipation.  I have come to love sunlight from the side, as it slants in on things, making both high-lights and shadow simultaneously..  Add in some heavenly breeze and the world seems to just tingle with dancing motion.  And, the secret of its beauty seems to be that it does so without calling attention to itself.  It just whispers faintly, "do you know what I know?"  I think it is a beauty that knows it source, so it has no need to advertise or flaunt itself.  It just is...reflecting its reflecting on the One who makes it all move and shine.

Whew...about all you can do is breathe it in; slowly, deeply, wonderfully.

As I do this, something settles in me.  I rediscover that I am a part of all of this, that I have a part in all of this.  And, when I assume this same position -- reflecting God like the rest of his creation -- a strange thing happens, I come alive.

I love it when truth sneaks up on you in ways like this.  It taps you gently on the shoulder and offers you something didn't expect, from the side, as it slants itself into your budding awareness.

The Outrageous

If you’ve lost the capacity to be outraged by what’s outrageous, you’re dead. Somebody ought to come and haul you off.

-- Wendell Berry

Are we outraged by anything any more? We are shocked by so little. We feed on things that should shock as if it were a normal diet. Not unlike the Hunger Games, we make nearly everything entertainment and become callous to what is deeply wrong. Like this day represents in the spiritual calendar, we view it largely as just one more day to get something done or with which to amuse ourselves.

We ought to be hauled off...I'd say, to the dessert until we can see things for the way they really are again...what is good and what isn't.

Learning from Silence

The great secret of monastic life, which on the surface looks like total withdrawal from human society, is that years of solitude, silence, and prayer, if they are undergone in the right spirit, lead to an expanded heart. Thomas Merton says, "Father, I beg you to keep me in this silence so that I may learn from it the word of your peace and the word of your mercy and the word of your gentleness to the world: and that through me perhaps your word of peace may make itself heard where it has not been possible for anyone to hear it for a long time."

-- Paula Huston, simplifying THE SOUL

2 of the Beauty in my Life

 

Few of Us Would

If it were up to us to judge who deserved forgiveness and who did not, few of us would forgive at all. Instead, we'd cherish our self-righteous rage, nurture our towering anger, and soon find ourselves on the road to self-destruction or mayhem. We cannot be trusted to pick and choose whom we will forgive. And, so, as folders of Christ, we are enjoined to forgive without measure.

-- Paula Huston, simplifying THE SOUL

Come Healing

O gather up the brokenness
And bring it to me now
The fragrance of those promises
You never dared to vow

The splinters that you carry
The cross you left behind
Come healing of the body
Come healing of the mind

And let the heavens hear it
The penitential hymn
Come healing of the spirit
Come healing of the limb

Behold the gates of mercy
In arbitrary space
And none of us deserving
The cruelty or the grace

O solitude of longing
Where love has been confined
Come healing of the body
Come healing of the mind

O see the darkness yielding
That tore the light apart
Come healing of the reason
Come healing of the heart

O troubled dust concealing
An undivided love
The Heart beneath is teaching
To the broken Heart above

O let the heavens falter
And let the earth proclaim:
Come healing of the Altar
Come healing of the Name

O longing of the branches
To lift the little bud
O longing of the arteries
To purify the blood

O let the heavens hear it
The penitential hymn
Come healing of the spirit
Come healing of the limb

-- Leonard Cohen, Old Ideas

Dismals Canyon & Orange Beach

One of three places in the world with Dismalites!

It occurs to me now that going to the woods
Without knowing any of the many names
Of its inhabitants
Must be about as interesting as going
To a beautiful library
Without knowing how to read.

How hard have we worked to acquire
Our fresh ignorance?

-- Linford Detweiler

Anonymous

There is something deceptively awful about being anonymous.  

It looks awesome from a distance.  It feels great, in terms of what it makes you believe you can get away with.  It allows you to be someone different than who you really are.

The big city, a road-trip, Las Vegas all beg anonymity.

It's not that these things should never be experienced. But life without a community is not life and it feeds all the wrong things in us.  It does not hold us accountable to the better parts of who we are.  A town.  A family.  A frequented barbershop.  A church.  A circle of good friends.  All stain us in some way, but all can also root us to who we are...by giving us identity, sharedness, forgiveness, humanity.

We should be wary of the wiles of being anonymous.

Bluegrass Legend Earl Scruggs Has Died

Earl could play 11 notes in one second!

Like the music or not (I kinda do!), you have to admire the perfection of such skill and the story of a man's life that shapes it.

Through Giving

It is through giving that we receive, and it is through dying that we are born to eternal life.

-- St. Francis of Assisi


 Giving and dying...not necessarily natural instincts. Ones that we have to choose. Ones that we have to learn to choose.

And, ones that are probably easier to imagine in theory than in practice. In other words, where specifically do I need to give today? Where and how do I need to die to today?

How Far

You'd be surprised how far the smallest steps can take you.

I am.  ...in both directions, good and bad.

Undefended Self

Solitude brings us face to face with a person who fills us with dismay: our naked and unadorned self. Instead of the self-sufficient, goal-directed, accomplished human being we've learned to secretly admire, we are suddenly revealed as a weak, dependent, fearful creature who much of the time uses others to fulfill desperate needs. If we have prided ourselves on the maturity of our faith, solitude twitches back the curtain on self-deception. The experience can be devastating.

Today, spend an hour in solitude: no phone, no e-mail, no TV, and no interacting with another human being, live or electronic. If you are already accustomed to living by yourself, think about he ways in which you defend yourself against loneliness. Do you rely on the TV to keep you company? Do you spend a lot of time calling friends? Do you feel compelled to socialize often? Ask God to show you what you'd prefer not to see: your undefended self. Then ask God to strengthen and sustain you.

-- Paula Huston, simplifying THE SOUL

We continue this week in the fifth week of Lent. I'm still reading this powerful set of practices and prayers...and continue to be provoked at how well defended I have made myself. And, I am missing a lot in my paltry efforts.

Compassion

The Rule of St. Benedict enshrines hospitality as a primary Christian duty because the world is full of stranded people who ache for the smallest sign that someone cares enough to be inconvenienced for their sakes. It might help if we realize that what people need has more to do with compassion than solutions to their problems. We might experience less guilty frustration at our inability to 'help' someone and more inclination to simply be there for them, however briefly, as they struggle on with this difficult life.

-- Paula Huston, simplifying THE SOUL

I am finding myself increasingly separated by this book, in a good way. Challenged to move beyond the intriguing nature of the ideas to the actions they compel. I have not been able to do it yet, to the degree that I would like. And, I feel the both the Accuser and the Caller near me. May God grant me the capacity to follow his calling however I can presently do so.

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

-- Wendell Berry