Every third Monday, I ask myself, what have I noticed lately...about myself.
This week, for example, I’ve noticed…that I've become more suspicious lately.
Over time, I've recognized that when this happens, something has shifted within me.
Something feels (more) at risk. I've been having dreams about it.
This should be OK; after all, there's always risk. So, its really about the relationship I have with that risk that seems to shifts sometimes. I've observed, more than once, this is related to how secure I feel internally as a person, at any given moment. And, my sense of security is often based on what I feel threatened by...and why.
In the end, it is often my awareness of the basis, of my true sense of security, that moves.
This is the kind of thing that a lot of mental health strategies are actually working with. Our sense of security is also a fundamental base-line of basic spirituality.
Do I really need to be suspicious, when I notice that I am? Probably not. Perhaps, noticing my suspicions can be an indicator that something has shifted within me...and that I need to pay attention to it and do something about it.